With the increase in use of the Internet, books will soon become unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Some people are of the opinion that printed books are no longer widely used due to the innovation of the Internet. I totally agree with this opinion due to the reasons below.
To begin with, reading traditional books costs a huge amount of money than reading e-books. At present, there are numerous free books that readers can easily search on the internet in both smartphones and reading devices while paper-book lovers have to buy every single one every time they read. For instance, some individuals live in the outskirts which lack facilities, namely bookstores can not find their wish-list books and have to read them online. Moreover, some required-payment books such as license-fee or limited edition cost less money than printed ones. Thus, book consumers in this modern world have a tendency to immerse in online books instead of traditional ones.
In addition, reading devices are fast modified to bring a realistic feeling for readers. Up to now, a variety of brands have been further updating their products with flip-book sound, colors and font sizes that consumers can personally adjust. These functions are extremely suitable for the elderly and people who have eye diseases for particular. What is more, all the book devices are lighter than a traditional book and do not take up too much space while printed books are often bent at the corners in small bags . Consequently, a large number of consumers in the field of reading books are gradually switching to online books.
In conclusion, although there are still a certain quantity of readers who prefer using traditional books, most of them are changing and experiencing ebooks thanks to its flexibility and convenience and will no longer put paper books in the first priority.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"I totally agree with this opinion" -> "I strongly concur with this viewpoint"
Explanation: Replacing "totally agree" with "strongly concur" refines the tone to a more formal academic expression, enhancing the precision and authority of the statement.
"due to the reasons below" -> "for the following reasons"
Explanation: "Due to the reasons below" is somewhat informal and vague. "For the following reasons" is more direct and appropriate for academic writing, providing a clear transition to the subsequent discussion.
"reading traditional books costs a huge amount of money than reading e-books" -> "reading traditional books is more expensive than reading e-books"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies the comparison, making it more precise and formal.
"can not find their wish-list books" -> "cannot find the books on their wish lists"
Explanation: "Wish-list books" is an informal and unclear term. "The books on their wish lists" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"some required-payment books such as license-fee or limited edition" -> "some books that require payment, such as those with licensing fees or limited editions"
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The revision clarifies the meaning and corrects the grammar, making it more readable and formal.
"have a tendency to immerse in online books" -> "tend to prefer online books"
Explanation: "Immerse in" is an incorrect usage in this context. "Tend to prefer" is the correct expression for indicating a tendency towards something, and it is more appropriate for formal writing.
"reading devices are fast modified" -> "reading devices are rapidly evolving"
Explanation: "Fast modified" is incorrect and unclear. "Rapidly evolving" is a more precise and academically appropriate term that accurately describes the ongoing advancements in technology.
"flip-book sound, colors and font sizes" -> "features such as flip-book functionality, customizable colors, and adjustable font sizes"
Explanation: The original phrase is vague and informal. The revision specifies the features more clearly and uses formal language suitable for an academic context.
"What is more, all the book devices are lighter than a traditional book" -> "Furthermore, all e-book devices are lighter than traditional books"
Explanation: "What is more" is informal and less precise. "Furthermore" is a more formal transitional phrase, and specifying "e-book devices" clarifies the subject being discussed.
"do not take up too much space while printed books are often bent at the corners in small bags" -> "do not occupy much space, whereas printed books often become creased at the corners when carried in small bags"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks precision. The revision uses more formal vocabulary and corrects the grammatical structure, enhancing clarity and formality.
"a certain quantity of readers" -> "a significant number of readers"
Explanation: "A certain quantity of" is vague and informal. "A significant number of" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing, indicating a measurable and substantial group.
"put paper books in the first priority" -> "prioritize paper books"
Explanation: "Put in the first priority" is awkward and informal. "Prioritize" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly expressing agreement with the statement that books will soon become unnecessary due to the rise of the Internet. The author presents reasons supporting this viewpoint, such as the cost-effectiveness of e-books and the convenience of digital reading devices. However, the essay could have benefited from a more nuanced discussion of the opposing viewpoint, acknowledging that while e-books are gaining popularity, traditional books still hold value for many readers.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should include a brief counterargument that recognizes the enduring appeal of printed books. This could involve discussing aspects such as the tactile experience of reading a physical book or the aesthetic value of a personal library. Including this perspective would demonstrate a more balanced approach to the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the idea that e-books are replacing printed books. The use of phrases like "I totally agree" establishes a strong stance, and the subsequent paragraphs reinforce this position with relevant examples. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, as some sentences feel slightly disjointed, which may obscure the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the author should use more transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. For instance, phrases like "Furthermore," or "Additionally," can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly. This will enhance the flow of the essay and reinforce the author’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the advantages of e-books, such as cost savings and technological advancements in reading devices. Each point is supported with examples, such as the mention of free online books and the benefits for elderly readers. However, some points could be further developed. For example, the discussion about the technological features of reading devices is somewhat brief and could benefit from more specific examples or data to substantiate the claims.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should aim to elaborate on key points with additional details or statistics. For instance, providing data on the increasing sales of e-books compared to printed books or citing studies about reading habits could lend more credibility to the argument. This would not only extend the ideas but also make them more persuasive.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of the Internet’s rise on the relevance of printed books. The author consistently relates back to the central theme of the prompt. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off-topic, such as the mention of "individuals living in the outskirts" and their access to bookstores, which could be more directly tied to the argument about the necessity of printed books.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every example and point made directly supports the central argument. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis. Additionally, revising sentences that introduce tangential ideas can help keep the discussion tightly aligned with the prompt.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, it can be improved by incorporating counterarguments, enhancing transitions, providing more detailed support for ideas, and ensuring that all points remain directly relevant to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of the statement that printed books are becoming unnecessary due to the rise of the Internet. The introduction effectively states the writer’s position, and the body paragraphs provide supporting reasons. However, the organization could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the cost of reading to the technological advancements in reading devices feels abrupt. The ideas are related but could benefit from clearer connections to enhance the overall logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using topic sentences that clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Moreover") can help guide the reader through the progression of ideas more smoothly. A brief summary sentence at the end of each paragraph could also reinforce how that point supports the overall argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument: the cost of reading and the technological advancements in reading devices. However, the second paragraph could be split into two distinct paragraphs to better separate the discussion of technological features from the benefits they provide to specific groups of readers.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant details. Consider starting a new paragraph when introducing a new aspect of the argument or when the focus shifts significantly. This will help maintain clarity and make the essay easier to follow.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," "Moreover," and "In addition," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition from discussing the features of reading devices to their benefits could be more explicitly linked.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "On the other hand," "In contrast," or "As a result." Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically flows into the next by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas. This will create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices can enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "innovation," "immersive," and "facilities." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variety. For example, the phrase "reading books" is used multiple times without variation, which could have been replaced with synonyms such as "literature," "printed materials," or "physical books." Additionally, phrases like "huge amount of money" could be enhanced with more precise vocabulary, such as "significant cost" or "substantial expense."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should actively seek synonyms and alternative expressions. Keeping a thesaurus handy while writing can help diversify word choice. Practicing paraphrasing sentences from articles or books can also aid in expanding vocabulary range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary usage that affects clarity. For instance, the phrase "required-payment books such as license-fee or limited edition" is unclear; it seems to conflate different types of books without clear definitions. The term "license-fee" is particularly vague and may confuse readers. Additionally, the phrase "book consumers in this modern world" could be simplified to "readers today" for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by ensuring that terms are well-defined and contextually appropriate. Reading more academic texts can help familiarize the writer with precise vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from its overall quality. For example, "e-books" is correctly spelled, but "license-fee" should be hyphenated as "license fee" when used in this context. Additionally, "paper-book lovers" should be "paper book lovers" to maintain consistency in style. The phrase "do not take up too much space while printed books are often bent at the corners in small bags" could be clearer with better punctuation and structure.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing spelling through writing exercises can also be beneficial. Familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words and their correct forms can further improve spelling skills.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, improving precision, and ensuring correct spelling will help elevate the Lexical Resource band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of introductory phrases like "To begin with" and "In addition" effectively organizes the points. However, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence beginnings and structures. For example, the sentence "Moreover, some required-payment books such as license-fee or limited edition cost less money than printed ones" could be restructured for better flow and complexity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "reading devices are fast modified to bring a realistic feeling for readers," you could say, "As technology advances, reading devices are increasingly modified to provide a more realistic experience for readers." Additionally, using participial phrases or conditional clauses can add depth to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar and punctuation, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "costs a huge amount of money than reading e-books" should be "costs a huge amount more than reading e-books." Additionally, the sentence "some individuals live in the outskirts which lack facilities, namely bookstores can not find their wish-list books" is grammatically incorrect; it should be rephrased for clarity, such as "some individuals live in the outskirts where they cannot find bookstores that carry their wish-list books." There are also minor punctuation issues, such as missing commas that could enhance readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect comparative forms. Practicing sentence restructuring and ensuring that clauses are correctly connected will also help. Additionally, focusing on punctuation rules, particularly around clauses and lists, will enhance clarity. For instance, ensure that commas are used to separate independent clauses and items in a series.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, attention to detail in sentence structure and grammatical correctness will further elevate the writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people are of the opinion that printed books are no longer widely used due to the innovation of the Internet. I strongly concur with this viewpoint for the following reasons.

To begin with, reading traditional books is more expensive than reading e-books. At present, there are numerous free books that readers can easily find on the Internet using both smartphones and reading devices, while paper-book lovers have to buy every single one each time they read. For instance, some individuals living in the outskirts, which lack facilities such as bookstores, cannot find the books on their wish lists and have to read them online. Moreover, some books that require payment, such as those with licensing fees or limited editions, cost less than printed ones. Thus, book consumers in this modern world tend to prefer online books instead of traditional ones.

In addition, reading devices are rapidly evolving to provide a realistic feeling for readers. Up to now, a variety of brands have been updating their products with features such as flip-book functionality, customizable colors, and adjustable font sizes that consumers can personally adjust. These functions are extremely suitable for the elderly and people who have eye diseases in particular. What is more, all e-book devices are lighter than traditional books and do not occupy much space, whereas printed books often become creased at the corners when carried in small bags. Consequently, a significant number of readers are gradually switching to online books.

In conclusion, although there are still a certain number of readers who prioritize paper books, most of them are changing and experiencing e-books thanks to their flexibility and convenience, and will no longer put paper books in the first priority.