Write a paragraph (100-120 words) about one of your family routines.

The routine is activities which we often do everyday. I do it everyday, and when I have free time because I must have to go to school. The activities most of the time I have to go to school. The activities are do the housework. The housework is the work which my family members must do. It is divided into parts for everyone in family. First, my mother cleans the house and cooks every morning, she gets up early and often starts cleaning the house. In the afternoon, when she gets home, she cooks the tasty foods for my family. Secondly, my father does the laundry every night, he will go out collect the clothes to wash. Finally, I do the washing up after meals after meals. After every week in mornin my father dries the clothes for my parents, so I should do the washing up inorder to help my family. At the end, I love this routine because it helps my family can do together, bon connested share everything and bond.

Contest time, when you win you get to eat the food I cooked. Try my best support me with the questions. To my father and young sister dress the questions with my mother. In conclusion, those activities make my family more connected and have many memories together. And I feel very happy to have such a wonderful family.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The routine is activities which we often do everyday." -> "The routine consists of activities we perform daily."
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammatical structure and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.
"I do it everyday, and when I have free time because I must have to go to school." -> "I perform this routine daily, and when I have free time, as I must attend school."
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkwardly phrased. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning, improving readability and formality.
"The activities most of the time I have to go to school." -> "Most of the time, I attend school."
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and redundant. The revision simplifies and clarifies the statement, making it more direct and formal.
"The activities are do the housework." -> "The activities involve household chores."
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and vague. The suggested change clarifies the meaning and uses more precise language.
"The housework is the work which my family members must do." -> "Household chores are tasks that all family members must perform."
Explanation: The original phrase is verbose and awkward. The revision is more concise and uses more formal vocabulary.
"It is divided into parts for everyone in family." -> "It is divided among all family members."
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and informal. The suggested change corrects the grammar and uses more formal language.
"First, my mother cleans the house and cooks every morning, she gets up early and often starts cleaning the house." -> "First, my mother begins her day by cleaning the house and cooking, usually rising early to start the cleaning."
Explanation: The original sentence is repetitive and informal. The revision streamlines the sentence and enhances formality.
"In the afternoon, when she gets home, she cooks the tasty foods for my family." -> "In the afternoon, upon returning home, she prepares delicious meals for our family."
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks precision. The revision uses more formal language and clarifies the action.
"Secondly, my father does the laundry every night, he will go out collect the clothes to wash." -> "Secondly, my father performs laundry duties every evening, collecting clothes to wash."
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects the grammar and enhances clarity.
"Finally, I do the washing up after meals after meals." -> "Finally, I perform cleanup duties after meals."
Explanation: The original phrase is repetitive and informal. The suggested change simplifies and formalizes the language.
"After every week in mornin my father dries the clothes for my parents, so I should do the washing up inorder to help my family." -> "After each week, my father dries the clothes for my parents; therefore, I should assist with cleanup duties to support my family."
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects these issues and uses more formal language.
"bon connested share everything and bond." -> "bonding through shared activities and shared experiences."
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The suggested change clarifies the meaning and uses more precise language.
"Contest time, when you win you get to eat the food I cooked." -> "During competitions, if you win, you get to enjoy the meals I prepare."
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and unclear. The revision clarifies the context and uses more formal language.
"Try my best support me with the questions." -> "I will do my best to support you with the questions."
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.
"To my father and young sister dress the questions with my mother." -> "My father and younger sister help my mother with the questions."
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

These changes aim to enhance the formal tone, improve grammatical accuracy, and ensure the language is appropriate for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to describe a family routine, but it lacks clarity and coherence in addressing the prompt. The introduction is vague, stating "The routine is activities which we often do everyday," which does not specify what the routine entails. The essay mentions housework but does not clearly outline the specific family routine or how it is structured. The response also includes irrelevant details, such as contest time and cooking, which detracts from the focus on family routines.
- How to improve: To better address the prompt, the writer should start with a clear statement about the specific family routine they are discussing. They should outline the routine in a structured manner, perhaps by introducing each family member’s role in the routine clearly and concisely. This will ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear and consistent position. While it mentions the importance of the family routine, the message becomes muddled with extraneous details and unclear phrasing. For instance, the phrase "I love this routine because it helps my family can do together" is awkwardly constructed and does not clearly convey the writer’s feelings about the routine.
- How to improve: The writer should maintain a clear focus on the family routine throughout the essay. They can achieve this by consistently linking back to the main theme of family bonding and cooperation. Using clear topic sentences for each paragraph can help reinforce the main idea.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. While the writer mentions different family members and their roles, the descriptions are often repetitive and vague. For example, stating "my father does the laundry every night" is a good start, but it could be extended with more detail about how this contributes to the family routine.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should elaborate on each family member’s contributions with specific examples. They could describe how these activities foster teamwork or create shared experiences, thus enriching the narrative.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay frequently deviates from the main topic of family routines. The inclusion of unrelated content, such as the "contest time" and "questions," distracts from the central theme and makes the essay feel disjointed. This lack of focus contributes to the overall confusion of the response.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that every sentence contributes to the main topic of family routines. They can do this by reviewing each part of the essay and asking whether it directly relates to the family routine being described. If it does not, it should be revised or removed.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on clarity, coherence, and relevance to the prompt. They should aim for a well-structured response that clearly outlines the family routine, maintains a consistent position, elaborates on ideas with specific examples, and stays focused on the topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a family routine but lacks a clear logical structure. The introduction is vague, and the main ideas are not presented in a coherent sequence. For example, the mention of daily activities is scattered, and the transition from one family member’s responsibilities to another is abrupt. The essay jumps between ideas without clear connections, making it difficult for the reader to follow the narrative.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should begin with a clear topic sentence that outlines the routine. Each family member’s responsibilities should be grouped logically, perhaps in chronological order or by the type of task. Using transitional phrases such as "first," "next," and "finally" can help guide the reader through the essay more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing. It reads as a single block of text, which makes it challenging to identify distinct ideas or sections. While there are attempts to list tasks, they are not clearly separated into paragraphs, leading to confusion about where one idea ends and another begins.
- How to improve: The writer should break the essay into clear paragraphs. For instance, one paragraph could focus on the mother’s tasks, another on the father’s, and a third on the writer’s own responsibilities. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that summarizes the main idea of that section, followed by supporting details.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, but they are limited and often misused. Phrases like "first," "secondly," and "finally" are present, but the overall flow is disrupted by awkward phrasing and repetition, such as "the activities" and "every day." Additionally, there are instances of grammatical errors that hinder clarity, such as "the routine is activities" and "I do it everyday."
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, using "in addition," "moreover," or "on the other hand" can help connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, the writer should ensure that each cohesive device is used correctly within the context of the sentence, paying attention to grammatical accuracy.

In summary, to elevate the essay’s coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing information logically, utilizing effective paragraphing, and employing a diverse range of cohesive devices while ensuring grammatical correctness.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary related to family routines, such as "housework," "cleaning," "cooks," and "laundry." However, the repetition of phrases like "every day" and "activities" indicates a limited lexical variety. For instance, instead of saying "I do it every day," the writer could use "I engage in this routine daily" to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more descriptive language. For example, instead of "tasty foods," they could describe the food as "delicious meals" or "savory dishes." Additionally, using phrases like "household chores" or "domestic responsibilities" could diversify the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the routine is activities which we often do everyday," which is awkwardly phrased. The phrase "must have to go to school" is redundant, and "inorder" should be written as "in order." The use of "bon connested" is unclear and seems to be a typographical error or miscommunication.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in word choice. For example, instead of "the work which my family members must do," they could say "the chores assigned to each family member." Paying attention to common phrases and idiomatic expressions can also enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "everyday" (should be "every day"), "inorder" (should be "in order"), and "mornin" (should be "morning"). These errors detract from the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should practice writing and proofreading their work. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them regularly could be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and basic vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly employs simple sentence structures, such as "I do it everyday," "my mother cleans the house," and "I do the washing up." While these sentences convey the basic ideas, there is a lack of complex or compound sentences that could enhance the writing’s sophistication. For instance, the sentence "The activities most of the time I have to go to school" is awkward and could be restructured for clarity and variety. Additionally, phrases like "the work which my family members must do" could be simplified or varied to improve flow.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more complex sentences that combine ideas. For example, instead of "I do it everyday," you could say, "Every day, I engage in various activities, including housework and school." Incorporating conjunctions (e.g., "and," "but," "because") can help link ideas more effectively. Practice writing sentences that include subordinate clauses, such as "Although I have school, I still manage to help with housework."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "I must have to go to school" is incorrect; it should simply be "I must go to school." Additionally, there are instances of run-on sentences, such as "my father does the laundry every night, he will go out collect the clothes to wash," which should be separated or restructured for clarity. Punctuation errors, such as missing commas before conjunctions in compound sentences, also detract from the overall readability.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, review the rules for verb forms and tenses. For example, "the activities are do the housework" should be corrected to "the activities include doing housework." Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on common errors can help. Additionally, pay attention to punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where pauses are needed, indicating where punctuation should be added.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The routine consists of activities that we often do every day. I perform this routine daily, and when I have free time, it is because I must attend school. Most of the time, I attend school. The activities involve household chores, which are tasks that all family members must perform. It is divided among everyone in the family. First, my mother begins her day by cleaning the house and cooking; she gets up early and often starts cleaning. In the afternoon, when she returns home, she prepares delicious meals for our family. Secondly, my father performs laundry duties every night, collecting clothes to wash. Finally, I do the washing up after meals. After each week, my father dries the clothes for my parents; therefore, I should assist with cleanup duties to support my family. In the end, I love this routine because it helps my family bond through shared activities and experiences.

During competitions, if you win, you get to enjoy the meals I prepare. I will do my best to support you with the questions. My father and younger sister help my mother with the questions. In conclusion, these activities make my family more connected and create many memories together. I feel very happy to have such a wonderful family.