Write an essay of 160-180 words discussing the challenges people face in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Provide specific examples and suggest solutions to overcome these challenges.
Write an essay of 160-180 words discussing the challenges people face in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Provide specific examples and suggest solutions to overcome these challenges.
Health is among one’s top priorities in life. It has profound impacts on every of us; however, the fact is that many people find it difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This essay will discuss some common challenges people often face in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and provide some solutions to overcome those challenges.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is about improving one’s overall well-being which includes physical health. A common problem people can face when improving their physical health is the time limitation. Every person has important tasks to fulfill in their life, especially in this modern world. Adults need to work really hard. Many even get extra shifts. Beside working hours, they also need to spend much time constantly gaining more specialized knowledge for their jobs. Even students whom many people consider as “the freer” are also snowed under work. Apart from learning at school, they also take part in many extra-curricular activities as well as extra classes. The need to work hard to keep up with the fast-paced development of life has led to more limited time for everyone. Sadly, many people now tend to choose work over anything else. As a result, they have almost no time to exercise or prepare homemade meals with truely qualified foods and have the tendency to sit in front of the computer all day and consume fast food instead.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is not only about improving one's physical health but also their mental health. A common challenge is the lack of task management skills. Many people find it difficult to put the tasks in order which results in the overlapping between the tasks. This leads to the biological clock disorders including sleep disorders. Many people have the habit of sleeping in the morning and working at midnight. This decrease in the quality of sleep increases stress and pressure which can result in more serious mental problems in the long run.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be challenging due to subjective factor such as self-discipline. This is true with both physical and mental health. A fact is most people did make a plan at some points in the past but only some of them can fulfill that plan. This is also true to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. People know the importance of a healthy lifestyle, some even make a detailed plan to improve their health. However, many of them find it difficult to stick to that plan. This can result from the impatience or the lack of deep understanding about the importance of well-being, leading to arrogance about health.
Though there are certain challenges in maintaining a healthy lifestyle, people can overcome them by applying some solutions. First of all, one should raise their awareness on the importance of health. Secondly, people should learn to be more strict to themselves. They should be more disciplined to everything they do. Besides, they should also cultivate necessary skills such as time management, task management, emotion management, etc.
In conclusion, despite several challenges, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is crucial for people’s overall well-being. Therefore, one should find ways to overcome those difficulties and improve their healthy for a truly qualified life.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"every of us" -> "each of us"
Explanation: "Every of us" is grammatically incorrect. "Each of us" is the correct phrase, which is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. -
"find it difficult to maintain" -> "face challenges in maintaining"
Explanation: "Find it difficult to maintain" is somewhat informal and vague. "Face challenges in maintaining" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone. -
"Beside working hours" -> "Beyond working hours"
Explanation: "Beside" is incorrect in this context; "Beyond" is the correct preposition to indicate that the time spent is in addition to the regular working hours. -
"truely qualified foods" -> "truly nutritious foods"
Explanation: "Truely" is a typographical error; "truly" is the correct spelling. Additionally, "truly qualified foods" is unclear and awkward; "truly nutritious foods" is clearer and more appropriate in the context of health and nutrition. -
"sit in front of the computer all day" -> "spend extended periods in front of the computer"
Explanation: "Sit in front of the computer all day" is informal and lacks precision. "Spend extended periods in front of the computer" is more formal and accurately describes the prolonged nature of the activity. -
"lack of task management skills" -> "inadequate task management skills"
Explanation: "Lack of" is somewhat informal and vague; "inadequate" is more precise and formal, fitting better in an academic context. -
"the biological clock disorders" -> "biological clock disorders"
Explanation: "The" is unnecessary before "biological clock disorders" as it is not referring to a specific instance, but rather a general condition. -
"decrease in the quality of sleep" -> "reduction in sleep quality"
Explanation: "Decrease in the quality of sleep" is verbose and slightly awkward. "Reduction in sleep quality" is more concise and maintains the formal tone. -
"subjective factor" -> "subjective factors"
Explanation: "Factor" should be plural as it refers to multiple factors contributing to the challenges in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. -
"most people did make a plan" -> "many individuals have made plans"
Explanation: "Most people did make a plan" is awkward and informal. "Many individuals have made plans" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. -
"only some of them can fulfill that plan" -> "only a few succeed in fulfilling that plan"
Explanation: "Can fulfill" is less formal and slightly vague. "Succeed in fulfilling" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone. -
"impatience or the lack of deep understanding" -> "impatience or a lack of deep understanding"
Explanation: "The" is unnecessary before "lack of deep understanding" as it is not referring to a specific instance, making the phrase more concise and formal. -
"improve their healthy for a truly qualified life" -> "improve their health for a truly fulfilling life"
Explanation: "Healthy" is incorrect; "health" is the correct noun. Additionally, "truly qualified life" is unclear and awkward; "truly fulfilling life" is more appropriate and clear in the context of personal well-being.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively identifies several challenges people face in maintaining a healthy lifestyle, such as time limitations, lack of task management skills, and self-discipline issues. Each challenge is discussed in detail, with relevant examples provided. For instance, the essay mentions how busy work schedules and extracurricular activities limit time for exercise and healthy meal preparation. However, while the challenges are well-covered, the solutions provided are somewhat vague and could be more explicitly linked to the challenges discussed.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from more specific solutions that directly address each challenge. For example, after discussing time limitations, the author could suggest practical time management techniques or meal prep strategies that busy individuals can implement.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the importance of addressing the challenges of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The introduction and conclusion reiterate the significance of health, and the body paragraphs consistently support this stance. However, the transitions between challenges and solutions could be clearer, which might lead to some confusion about the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author should ensure that each paragraph clearly states how the challenges relate to the overall argument about the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Using transition phrases that explicitly connect challenges to their corresponding solutions would help maintain a cohesive position.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are relevant and are supported with examples, such as the impact of poor sleep on mental health. However, some points could be further extended. For instance, the discussion on self-discipline mentions that many people fail to stick to their health plans, but it lacks deeper exploration of why this occurs or how it can be addressed.
- How to improve: The author should aim to provide more depth to each point by elaborating on the examples given. For instance, they could discuss specific strategies for improving self-discipline, such as setting realistic goals or using accountability partners.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the challenges and solutions related to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly broad, such as when mentioning "biological clock disorders." This could be seen as a deviation from the main focus on lifestyle challenges.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central theme of healthy lifestyle challenges and solutions. Avoiding overly technical terms or tangential discussions will help keep the essay concise and relevant.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, but it could benefit from clearer connections between challenges and solutions, as well as deeper exploration of the points made.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the challenges to be discussed. Each paragraph addresses a specific challenge, such as time limitations, lack of task management skills, and self-discipline. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing time limitations to task management lacks a clear linking sentence that would help the reader follow the progression of thought.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For example, after discussing time limitations, you could add a sentence like, "In addition to time constraints, many individuals struggle with effective task management." This would create a more cohesive narrative.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different challenges, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct issue related to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. However, some paragraphs are lengthy and could benefit from further division. For example, the paragraph discussing self-discipline could be split into two: one focusing on the planning aspect and another on the challenges of sticking to those plans.
- How to improve: Aim for more concise paragraphs that each tackle a single idea. This can help maintain the reader’s focus and make the essay easier to follow. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first of all" and "besides," which help in listing solutions. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the use of "however" is repeated, which can detract from the essay’s overall fluidity.
- How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. Instead of relying heavily on "however," consider using alternatives like "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "furthermore." Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one, reinforcing the connections between ideas.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant challenges and solutions, focusing on improving transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "well-being," "self-discipline," and "task management." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice. For example, the phrase "maintaining a healthy lifestyle" is used frequently without synonyms or alternative expressions, which can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "maintaining a healthy lifestyle," you could use "upholding wellness" or "promoting health." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to health and lifestyle, such as "nutritional choices" or "physical activity," would enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its ideas clearly, there are moments where vocabulary is used imprecisely. For example, the phrase "truely qualified foods" is unclear and could confuse readers. The term "subjective factor" is also vague and does not effectively convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision in word choice. Instead of "truely qualified foods," consider using "nutritious foods" or "high-quality foods." For "subjective factor," a more precise term could be "personal factors" or "individual characteristics." Always ensure that the vocabulary accurately reflects the intended meaning.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "truely" (should be "truly") and "the freer" (which is awkwardly phrased and could be improved). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a break and then review the essay with fresh eyes to catch mistakes. Additionally, using spell-check tools or writing software can help identify errors before submission. Regular practice with spelling exercises or vocabulary quizzes can also reinforce correct spelling habits.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "The need to work hard to keep up with the fast-paced development of life has led to more limited time for everyone" showcases an understanding of how to convey detailed ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way challenges are introduced (e.g., "A common problem people can face…"). This repetition can detract from the overall fluency of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider varying the introductory phrases and using a mix of active and passive voice. For instance, instead of repeatedly starting with "A common problem," you could use phrases like "One significant issue" or "Another challenge that arises." Additionally, incorporating more varied conjunctions and transitions can enhance the flow and complexity of your writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "the fact is that many people find it difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle" could be more concise. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as missing commas in complex sentences (e.g., "This leads to the biological clock disorders including sleep disorders" should have a comma before "including"). The use of "truely" is a spelling error that detracts from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is crucial to proofread for common errors such as spelling mistakes and punctuation. Familiarize yourself with the rules regarding comma usage in complex sentences. Practicing writing complex sentences with proper punctuation can also help. Furthermore, consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to catch errors before finalizing your essay.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
Health is among one’s top priorities in life. It profoundly impacts each of us; however, many people find it challenging to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This essay will discuss some common challenges people often face in this regard and provide solutions to overcome them.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle involves improving one’s overall well-being, which includes physical health. A significant challenge people encounter is time limitation. In today’s fast-paced world, adults often work extremely hard, with many taking on extra shifts. Beyond working hours, they also need to spend considerable time acquiring specialized knowledge for their jobs. Even students, often perceived as having more free time, are overwhelmed with responsibilities. In addition to their studies, they engage in numerous extracurricular activities and extra classes. This relentless pursuit of success has led to a reduction in time for exercise and the preparation of truly nutritious foods, with many individuals spending extended periods in front of the computer and opting for fast food instead.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle also encompasses mental health. A common challenge is inadequate task management skills. Many struggle to prioritize tasks, resulting in overlaps and leading to biological clock disorders, including sleep issues. This often causes individuals to sleep in the morning and work at night, which reduces sleep quality and increases stress, potentially resulting in more serious mental health problems over time.
Moreover, maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be hindered by subjective factors such as self-discipline. While many individuals have made plans to improve their health, only a few succeed in fulfilling those plans. This often stems from impatience or a lack of deep understanding regarding the importance of well-being, leading to neglect of health.
Despite these challenges, people can overcome them by implementing several solutions. First, raising awareness about the importance of health is crucial. Secondly, individuals should strive to be stricter with themselves, cultivating self-discipline in their daily routines. Additionally, developing essential skills such as time management and emotional regulation can greatly assist in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
In conclusion, despite the various challenges, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is vital for overall well-being. Therefore, individuals should actively seek ways to overcome these difficulties and improve their health for a truly fulfilling life.