You have approximately 40 minutes to complete this task. You need to write an essay addressing the topic below: It is predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century will have much more free time. To what extent has the prediction come true? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.

You have approximately 40 minutes to complete this task.
You need to write an essay addressing the topic below:
It is predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century will have much more free time.
To what extent has the prediction come true?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.

People once thought that technology would give us more free time by making tasks easier and work more efficient. While technology has indeed made some tasks quicker, it has also brought new challenges that reduce the free time we might have gained. This essay will show how technology has both increased and decreased our free time.

Technology has helped increase free time by reducing the time needed for everyday tasks. Automation and smart devices have taken over many tasks that used to take up a lot of our time. For example, machines in factories now do repetitive jobs, allowing workers to have shorter shifts. At home, devices like robotic vacuum cleaners and smart dishwashers help with chores, giving people more time to relax or enjoy hobbies. These advancements show how technology has created more free time by handling tasks that were once time-consuming.

However, technology has also made it harder to enjoy this free time because it keeps us connected to work all the time. With smartphones and laptops, people often feel the need to be available for work even after regular hours, which reduces their personal time. Many workers check emails or join meetings in the evenings or on weekends, which takes away from their time to rest or spend with family. This constant connection to work makes it difficult to fully enjoy the free time that technology was supposed to provide.

While technology has made some tasks easier and created more free time, it has also led to longer working hours due to constant connectivity. Although automation and smart devices have reduced time spent on tasks, the pressure to always be connected to work has taken away much of the free time that could have been gained.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "People once thought" -> "It was previously believed"
   Explanation: "It was previously believed" is a more formal and precise way to express a general opinion or assumption about the past, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.

2. "give us more free time" -> "provide additional leisure time"
   Explanation: "Provide additional leisure time" is more formal and specific, aligning better with academic language by avoiding the casual tone of "give us."

3. "making tasks easier and work more efficient" -> "facilitating task completion and enhancing work efficiency"
   Explanation: "Facilitating task completion and enhancing work efficiency" uses more precise and formal vocabulary, which is more suitable for an academic context.

4. "has also brought new challenges" -> "has also introduced new challenges"
   Explanation: "Introduced" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating the origin of the challenges, which is more appropriate for formal writing.

5. "reduce the free time we might have gained" -> "diminish the potential leisure time gained"
   Explanation: "Diminish the potential leisure time gained" uses more formal vocabulary and avoids the conditional "might," which can sound uncertain and informal in academic writing.

6. "Automation and smart devices have taken over many tasks" -> "Automation and smart devices have assumed responsibility for numerous tasks"
   Explanation: "Assumed responsibility for numerous tasks" is a more formal and precise way to describe the impact of automation and smart devices, enhancing the academic tone.

7. "allowing workers to have shorter shifts" -> "enabling workers to work shorter shifts"
   Explanation: "Enabling workers to work shorter shifts" is more direct and formal, improving the clarity and formality of the sentence.

8. "help with chores" -> "assist with household tasks"
   Explanation: "Assist with household tasks" is a more formal and specific phrase, suitable for an academic essay.

9. "giving people more time to relax or enjoy hobbies" -> "affording individuals additional time for relaxation or leisure activities"
   Explanation: "Affording individuals additional time for relaxation or leisure activities" uses more formal language and avoids the casual tone of "give people more time."

10. "it keeps us connected to work all the time" -> "it maintains a constant connection to work"
    Explanation: "Maintains a constant connection to work" is more formal and precise, fitting better in an academic context.

11. "people often feel the need to be available for work" -> "individuals frequently perceive a need to remain available for work"
    Explanation: "Individuals frequently perceive a need to remain available for work" uses more formal vocabulary and a more precise verb choice, enhancing the academic tone.

12. "check emails or join meetings" -> "review emails or participate in meetings"
    Explanation: "Review emails or participate in meetings" uses more formal verbs that are appropriate for an academic essay.

13. "takes away from their time to rest or spend with family" -> "diverts time from rest or family activities"
    Explanation: "Diverts time from rest or family activities" is a more formal and concise way to express the idea, improving the academic tone.

14. "the pressure to always be connected to work" -> "the imperative to remain constantly connected to work"
    Explanation: "The imperative to remain constantly connected to work" uses more formal language and emphasizes the necessity, which is more suitable for an academic essay.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether technology has increased or decreased free time. The introduction clearly outlines the dual nature of technology’s impact, while the body paragraphs provide relevant examples of how technology has both created efficiencies and introduced new challenges. The examples of automation in factories and smart devices at home illustrate the positive aspects, while the discussion of constant connectivity highlights the negative consequences. However, the essay could benefit from more explicit reference to the extent of the prediction’s truth, as the prompt asks for a degree of agreement or disagreement.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include a more definitive statement regarding the extent to which they believe the prediction has come true. This could be achieved by incorporating a clear thesis statement in the introduction that indicates whether they lean more towards agreement or disagreement with the prediction, followed by a summary of the reasons for that stance.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position, acknowledging both the benefits and drawbacks of technology. However, the position could be more assertively stated. The conclusion reiterates the dual impact but lacks a strong, conclusive statement about the overall stance on the prediction. This could leave readers uncertain about the writer’s ultimate viewpoint.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should explicitly state their overall opinion in the conclusion. A sentence summarizing whether they believe technology has ultimately increased or decreased free time, along with a brief rationale, would provide a more definitive stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, with clear examples that illustrate the points made. The use of specific instances, such as robotic vacuum cleaners and the pressure of constant connectivity, effectively supports the claims. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough in exploring the implications of these points. For instance, while the essay mentions the reduction of time spent on tasks, it could further elaborate on how this time is being utilized or the psychological effects of constant connectivity.
  • How to improve: To improve the depth of the essay, the writer should aim to extend their ideas further. This could involve discussing the broader implications of having more free time (e.g., impacts on mental health, family life, or social interactions) and providing more examples or data to support these claims.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, consistently addressing the relationship between technology and free time. There are no significant deviations from the main topic, and each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. The structure is logical, with a clear progression from the benefits of technology to its drawbacks.
  • How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the writer should ensure that each point made directly ties back to the central question of the extent to which the prediction has come true. Reinforcing this connection in each paragraph would further strengthen the essay’s focus and coherence. Additionally, including a brief mention of personal experiences or observations could enhance the relevance and engagement of the argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the dual nature of technology’s impact on free time. The body paragraphs are logically sequenced, with the first paragraph discussing the positive effects of technology on free time through automation and smart devices, followed by a contrasting paragraph that highlights the negative consequences of constant connectivity. This logical progression allows the reader to easily follow the argument. However, the transition between the two main points could be more explicit, as the shift from positive to negative effects feels somewhat abrupt.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that signal a shift in perspective, such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely." Additionally, a brief concluding sentence at the end of each paragraph could help reinforce the main idea before moving to the next point.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the positive and negative impacts of technology. However, the conclusion is somewhat lacking in depth; it reiterates points made earlier without synthesizing the information or providing a strong closing statement.
  • How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed and offering a final thought or implication about the future of technology and free time. This will provide a more rounded closure to the essay and reinforce the overall argument.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "for example," "however," and "although," which help to connect ideas and clarify relationships between them. These devices contribute to the coherence of the essay. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are opportunities to incorporate more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of connectors such as "furthermore," "in addition," "nevertheless," and "consequently." This will help to create more nuanced connections between ideas and improve the overall cohesion of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more engaging and fluid reading experience.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced view of the topic, but there are areas for improvement in transitions, conclusion depth, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By addressing these points, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Terms such as "automation," "smart devices," and "repetitive jobs" are effectively used to convey the impact of technology on free time. However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat basic and lacks variation. For instance, the repeated use of "free time" and "tasks" could be diversified with synonyms or related phrases to enhance the lexical richness.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate a broader range of vocabulary. For example, instead of repeatedly using "free time," alternatives like "leisure time," "downtime," or "personal time" could be employed. Additionally, using more sophisticated terms such as "efficiency," "productivity," or "work-life balance" would elevate the essay’s lexical quality.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "technology has also made it harder to enjoy this free time" could be more specific. Instead of "harder," a term like "challenging" or "difficult" might convey the intended meaning more effectively. Furthermore, the phrase "constant connection to work" could be elaborated to specify how this connection manifests, such as "perpetual connectivity through digital devices."
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey exact meanings. This can be achieved by using a thesaurus to find more specific synonyms and by considering the nuances of words. For example, instead of saying "made it harder," the writer could say "complicated the ability to enjoy," which provides a clearer picture of the situation.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no glaring errors that would impede understanding. Words such as "technology," "efficiency," and "robotic" are spelled correctly, which reflects a solid grasp of standard English spelling conventions.
  • How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or quizzes. Additionally, proofreading the essay for any overlooked typos or errors can help catch minor mistakes that may occur under time pressure. Reading extensively can also reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory command of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, selecting more precise terms, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their lexical resource in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "While technology has indeed made some tasks quicker, it has also brought new challenges that reduce the free time we might have gained." This shows an ability to convey nuanced ideas. However, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence openings and the use of more advanced structures, such as conditional sentences or participial phrases, to enhance the flow and complexity of the writing.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could experiment with starting sentences in different ways, such as using adverbial clauses or introductory phrases. For example, instead of beginning sentences with the subject, the writer could start with a dependent clause: "Although technology has streamlined many tasks, it has simultaneously increased the demands on our time." Incorporating a mix of sentence types will make the writing more engaging and sophisticated.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For instance, subject-verb agreement is correctly applied in sentences like "Automation and smart devices have taken over many tasks." However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "which" in the sentence "which takes away from their time to rest or spend with family." This could lead to confusion regarding the clause’s relationship to the rest of the sentence.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to punctuation rules, particularly with non-restrictive clauses. Practicing the use of commas in complex sentences will help clarify meaning and improve readability. Additionally, reviewing common grammatical pitfalls, such as verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement, will further strengthen the essay’s overall quality. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can also aid in this improvement.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, but there is room for enhancement in sentence variety and punctuation precision. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

People once believed that technology would provide us with more free time by making tasks easier and work more efficient. While technology has indeed made some tasks quicker, it has also introduced new challenges that diminish the potential leisure time gained. This essay will show how technology has both increased and decreased our free time.

Technology has helped increase free time by reducing the time needed for everyday tasks. Automation and smart devices have assumed responsibility for many tasks that used to take up a lot of our time. For example, machines in factories now perform repetitive jobs, enabling workers to work shorter shifts. At home, devices like robotic vacuum cleaners and smart dishwashers assist with chores, affording individuals additional time for relaxation or leisure activities. These advancements demonstrate how technology has created more free time by facilitating task completion and enhancing work efficiency.

However, technology has also made it harder to enjoy this free time because it maintains a constant connection to work. With smartphones and laptops, individuals frequently perceive a need to remain available for work even after regular hours, which reduces their personal time. Many workers review emails or participate in meetings in the evenings or on weekends, which diverts time from rest or family activities. This imperative to remain constantly connected to work makes it difficult to fully enjoy the free time that technology was supposed to provide.

While technology has made some tasks easier and created more free time, it has also led to longer working hours due to constant connectivity. Although automation and smart devices have reduced time spent on tasks, the pressure to always be connected to work has taken away much of the free time that could have been gained.