You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way
Why is this?
Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, companies often focus on how their products are new in some way when advertising. They do this to draw attention and stand out in a busy market. I believe this is a positive trend because it encourages better products and helps meet the changing needs of customers.

One reason why I support this statement is that many businesses today prefer to promote their products on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. The shift from traditional marketing methods like word of mouth to social media is because a vast majority of the population now spends significant time online. For instance, a company named 'Boat' gained massive exposure after being featured on the television show Indian Shark Tank. Following the show, the owner reported a 100x increase in sales, thanks in part to how they upgraded their product and brand image through innovative social media marketing.

There are several reason why I really like this building. Firstly, businesses have significantly improved their marketing production teams. In the modern era, creativity and timing are crucial. Companies must understand when to showcase the right product on social media to match customer desires, as customers are more likely to purchase when ads are relevant to their immediate needs. For example, if someone is thirsty, ads related to beverages like juices, water, or milkshakes should appear on their phone. Instagram has effectively utilized this feature, benefiting numerous businesses, and other platforms are beginning to adopt similar strategies.

In conclusion, I believe that in today's world, expanding a business through social media has become much easier, whether it is a small-scale or large-scale enterprise. In the future, marketing will reach new heights as platforms continue to develop features that cater to customer demands at the right moment.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Nowadays" -> "Currently"
   Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."

2. "often focus on how their products are new in some way" -> "frequently emphasize the novelty of their products"
   Explanation: "Frequently emphasize the novelty of their products" is more specific and academically appropriate, avoiding the vague and informal "new in some way."

3. "do this to draw attention and stand out" -> "engage in this strategy to garner attention and differentiate themselves"
   Explanation: "Engage in this strategy to garner attention and differentiate themselves" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone.

4. "I believe this is a positive trend" -> "This trend is considered beneficial"
   Explanation: Removing the first-person perspective "I believe" makes the statement more objective and formal, suitable for academic writing.

5. "because it encourages better products" -> "as it fosters the development of improved products"
   Explanation: "Fosters the development of improved products" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone.

6. "a vast majority of the population" -> "a significant majority of the population"
   Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise term than "vast," which can be vague and less formal.

7. "gained massive exposure" -> "received significant exposure"
   Explanation: "Received significant exposure" is more formal and precise than "gained massive exposure," which uses colloquial language.

8. "thanks in part to how they upgraded their product and brand image" -> "partly due to their upgraded product and brand image"
   Explanation: "Partly due to" is a more formal expression than "thanks in part to," aligning better with academic style.

9. "There are several reason why I really like this building." -> "There are several reasons why I appreciate this trend."
   Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error "reason" to "reasons" and changes "really like" to "appreciate" for a more formal tone. Also, "this building" should be "this trend" to match the context.

10. "marketing production teams" -> "marketing production teams"
    Explanation: No change needed here, as "marketing production teams" is correct and clear.

11. "creativity and timing are crucial" -> "creativity and timing are essential"
    Explanation: "Essential" is a more formal synonym for "crucial," fitting better in an academic context.

12. "Companies must understand when to showcase the right product" -> "Companies must determine the optimal timing for showcasing the appropriate product"
    Explanation: "Determine the optimal timing for showcasing the appropriate product" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone.

13. "ads are relevant to their immediate needs" -> "ads are relevant to their immediate needs"
    Explanation: No change needed here, as the phrase is correct and clear.

14. "In the future, marketing will reach new heights" -> "In the future, marketing will continue to evolve"
    Explanation: "Continue to evolve" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase than "reach new heights," which is somewhat metaphorical and less formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It explains why businesses emphasize newness in their products, citing the shift to social media marketing as a key factor. Furthermore, the author clearly states their position that this trend is positive, providing supporting reasons and examples. The reference to ‘Boat’ and its marketing success illustrates the argument well. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit discussion of the potential negative aspects of this trend to provide a more balanced view.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could include a counterargument discussing potential downsides of emphasizing newness, such as consumer fatigue or the risk of obsolescence. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the question and provide a more nuanced perspective.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position that the emphasis on newness in advertising is a positive development. The author reiterates this viewpoint in the introduction and conclusion, which helps to reinforce their stance. The use of phrases like "I believe this is a positive trend" clearly communicates the author’s perspective. However, the transition between supporting points could be smoother to enhance clarity.
  • How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the author could use transitional phrases to better connect ideas. For instance, linking the discussion of social media marketing directly to the conclusion about its benefits would strengthen the overall argument and maintain a clear thread throughout the essay.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly through the use of examples like ‘Boat’ and the discussion of targeted advertising on social media. The author provides a rationale for why businesses focus on newness, citing changes in consumer behavior and marketing strategies. However, some points, such as the mention of improved marketing production teams, could use further elaboration to fully develop the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance the depth of the essay, the author should aim to elaborate on key points. For example, explaining how improved marketing production teams specifically contribute to the effectiveness of advertising would provide more substantial support for the argument. Additionally, including more varied examples could strengthen the overall presentation of ideas.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons businesses emphasize newness and the implications of this trend. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off-topic, particularly when the author discusses the specific marketing strategies of Instagram without directly tying it back to the central argument about newness in advertising.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the main argument. When introducing examples or discussing marketing strategies, it would be beneficial to explicitly connect these points to the overarching theme of product newness. This will help reinforce the relevance of each point and keep the essay tightly aligned with the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the positive aspects of businesses emphasizing new products in their advertising. The introduction effectively outlines the main idea, and the body paragraphs follow a logical progression of thought. However, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing social media marketing to the creativity of marketing teams feels abrupt, as there is no clear link established between these two points.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For example, after discussing social media’s impact, you could introduce the next paragraph with a phrase like, "Building on this, the evolution of marketing teams has also played a crucial role in adapting to these platforms." This would help create a more cohesive narrative.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second body paragraph lacks a clear topic sentence that encapsulates its main idea. While it discusses the improvements in marketing production teams, it could benefit from a stronger opening statement to guide the reader.
  • How to improve: Start each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point. For instance, the second paragraph could begin with, "The evolution of marketing strategies has led to significant improvements in how businesses engage with consumers." This would not only clarify the paragraph’s focus but also strengthen the overall structure of the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "for instance" and "firstly," which help to clarify examples and points. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from more varied linking words and phrases to enhance fluidity. For example, the phrase "there are several reasons why" is somewhat repetitive and could be replaced with alternatives like "one key factor is" or "another important aspect is."
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, practice incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. Consider using words like "furthermore," "moreover," or "in addition" to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will create a more dynamic and engaging reading experience.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, implementing these suggestions could elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "emphasise," "innovative," and "exposure" effectively conveying the main ideas. However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "new in some way" and "significant time online," which could be expressed with more variety. The use of "massive exposure" and "100x increase" is impactful but could be enhanced with more sophisticated synonyms or phrases to elevate the language further.
  • How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should consider using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition. For example, instead of "new in some way," alternatives like "novel" or "distinctive" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to marketing and consumer behavior would enhance the essay’s overall quality.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecision. For example, the phrase "I really like this building" appears to be a typographical error or a miscommunication, as it does not relate to the context of advertising or marketing. This could confuse the reader and detracts from the overall clarity of the argument.
  • How to improve: The writer should ensure that all vocabulary aligns with the essay’s topic. Replacing "this building" with a more relevant term, such as "this approach" or "this strategy," would clarify the intended meaning. Additionally, the writer should review their work for any potential misused terms or phrases that could lead to ambiguity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors. However, there is a misspelling in "reason" which should be "reasons" in the phrase "there are several reason why." Such errors can undermine the professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, perhaps reading it aloud to catch any mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools or writing practice focused on commonly misspelled words could also be beneficial. Regular practice with vocabulary lists can help reinforce correct spelling over time.

Overall, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy will help elevate the score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the opening sentence uses a simple structure, while the second sentence employs a compound structure that effectively connects two ideas: "They do this to draw attention and stand out in a busy market." However, there is a noticeable reliance on similar sentence beginnings, particularly with "businesses" and "companies," which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, some sentences could benefit from more complex structures to enhance sophistication, such as using subordinate clauses or varied introductory phrases.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences that include dependent clauses. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with “businesses,” the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as “In today’s digital age, businesses often find that…” or “Given the competitive landscape, companies are increasingly…” This will not only vary the sentence beginnings but also enhance the overall flow of the essay.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors that do not impede understanding. However, there are some minor grammatical issues, such as "there are several reason why I really like this building," where "reason" should be pluralized to "reasons." Additionally, the phrase "the shift from traditional marketing methods like word of mouth to social media is because" could be more clearly expressed; the use of "is because" is somewhat awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance readability, particularly in longer sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay for pluralization errors and awkward phrasing. For example, revising the problematic sentence to "the shift from traditional marketing methods like word of mouth to social media is due to" would enhance clarity. Furthermore, the writer should practice using commas effectively, especially in compound sentences, to ensure that ideas are clearly separated and the text flows smoothly. Regular grammar exercises focusing on common errors could also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, but with some targeted improvements in sentence variety and grammatical precision, the score could be elevated further.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, companies often focus on how their products are new in some way when advertising. They do this to draw attention and stand out in a busy market. I believe this is a positive trend because it encourages better products and helps meet the changing needs of customers.

One reason why I support this statement is that many businesses today prefer to promote their products on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. The shift from traditional marketing methods, like word of mouth, to social media is partly due to a significant majority of the population now spending considerable time online. For instance, a company named ‘Boat’ gained massive exposure after being featured on the television show Indian Shark Tank. Following the show, the owner reported a 100x increase in sales, thanks in part to how they upgraded their product and brand image through innovative social media marketing.

There are several reasons why I really appreciate this trend. Firstly, businesses have significantly improved their marketing production teams. In the modern era, creativity and timing are essential. Companies must determine the optimal timing for showcasing the appropriate product on social media to match customer desires, as customers are more likely to purchase when ads are relevant to their immediate needs. For example, if someone is thirsty, ads related to beverages like juices, water, or milkshakes should appear on their phone. Instagram has effectively utilized this feature, benefiting numerous businesses, and other platforms are beginning to adopt similar strategies.

In conclusion, I believe that in today’s world, expanding a business through social media has become much easier, whether it is a small-scale or large-scale enterprise. In the future, marketing will continue to evolve as platforms develop features that cater to customer demands at the right moment.