You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Government expenditures on public transportation are believed to reduce transport pollution by improving the transport systems as well as reduction in ticket prices. From my perspective, I agree that these expenses are essential to the improve of environmental quality by encouraging people using public transport more frequently as well as reducing the pollutants caused by outdated public vehicles. This essay presents my statements to clarify my perspective.
The first argument in support of this investment is the investment can potentially improve the outdated, not environmentally friendly models of public vehicles. The outdated model exhausted lots of fumes which are proven to be critical for the environment. When these models replaced by modernized ones, the public vehicles would be proved to be more sustainable. These changes will reduce transport pollution greatly.
Another benefit to consider is the ability to encourage more people using public vehicles. One of the concerns when using public vehicles is the inconvenience when you cannot reach the direct destination. This problem can be effectively addressed on by funding from the authorities. For instance, by investing to the public transport, many more routes can be opened, which increased the various choice that residents could make to reach their desire destination, therefore attracting more residents to use the environmentally friendly transportation forms. This could potentially reduce the pollution caused by individual vehicles greatly over time.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that government expenditures on public transportation directly address pollution caused by individual vehicles by fostering residents using public transport as well as improving the outdated, unsustainable model of public vehicles.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Government expenditures on public transportation" -> "Government investments in public transportation"
   Explanation: "Investments" is a more precise term in an economic context, emphasizing the financial commitment and potential returns, which is more suitable for academic writing.

2. "reduce transport pollution" -> "mitigate transportation pollution"
   Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more formal and precise term than "reduce," which is commonly used in academic discussions about environmental issues.

3. "improve the transport systems" -> "enhance the transportation infrastructure"
   Explanation: "Enhance" is a more formal synonym for "improve," and "infrastructure" is a more specific term that accurately describes the physical systems involved in transportation.

4. "reduction in ticket prices" -> "reduced ticket prices"
   Explanation: "Reduced" is a more direct and formal way to describe the decrease in ticket prices, aligning better with academic style.

5. "I agree that these expenses are essential to the improve of environmental quality" -> "I contend that these expenditures are crucial for enhancing environmental quality"
   Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal verb than "agree," and "crucial" is more precise than "essential." Additionally, "enhancing" is a more formal verb than "improve."

6. "encouraging people using public transport more frequently" -> "encouraging increased use of public transportation"
   Explanation: "Increased use of public transportation" is a more formal and precise phrase than "people using public transport more frequently."

7. "reducing the pollutants caused by outdated public vehicles" -> "reducing emissions from outdated public vehicles"
   Explanation: "Emissions" is a more specific term than "pollutants," which is broader and less precise in this context.

8. "The outdated model exhausted lots of fumes" -> "The outdated models emit significant amounts of fumes"
   Explanation: "Emit" is the correct verb for describing the release of fumes, and "significant amounts" is more precise than "lots of."

9. "These changes will reduce transport pollution greatly" -> "These changes will significantly reduce transportation pollution"
   Explanation: "Significantly" is more formal and academically appropriate than "greatly," and "transportation" is the correct noun form.

10. "on by funding from the authorities" -> "through funding from the authorities"
    Explanation: "Through" is the correct preposition for indicating the means by which something is accomplished, making the sentence more grammatically correct and formal.

11. "investing to the public transport" -> "investing in public transportation"
    Explanation: "Investing in" is the correct prepositional phrase for financial investment, and "transportation" is the correct noun form.

12. "increased the various choice that residents could make" -> "expanded the range of options available to residents"
    Explanation: "Expanded the range of options available" is a more formal and precise way to describe the increase in choices, avoiding the awkward construction of "increased the various choice."

13. "to reach their desire destination" -> "to reach their desired destination"
    Explanation: "Desired" is the correct adjective form, and the article "the" is necessary before "desired."

14. "This could potentially reduce the pollution caused by individual vehicles greatly over time" -> "This could potentially significantly reduce pollution from individual vehicles over time"
    Explanation: "Significantly" is more formal than "greatly," and "from" is the correct preposition for indicating the source of pollution.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both government investment in public transport systems and the reduction in ticket prices as means to reduce transport pollution. The author clearly states their agreement with the statement and provides arguments supporting this view. The first argument focuses on the modernization of public vehicles, while the second emphasizes the enhancement of public transport accessibility. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit mention of ticket price reductions, as this aspect is somewhat underexplored.
  • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the author should include a dedicated section discussing how reducing ticket prices can encourage more people to use public transport. Providing examples or statistics related to ticket pricing and its impact on ridership would strengthen this argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position throughout the essay, consistently agreeing with the statement. Phrases like "From my perspective, I agree" and "I strongly agree" reinforce this stance. The arguments presented are logically aligned with the position taken, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: While the position is clear, the author could enhance the essay’s persuasiveness by explicitly reiterating their stance in the topic sentences of each paragraph. This would serve to remind the reader of the main argument and ensure that the supporting points are consistently linked back to the central thesis.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas, such as the modernization of public vehicles and the improvement of accessibility. Each idea is extended with explanations and examples, such as the mention of outdated models contributing to pollution and the inconvenience of public transport routes. However, the support for these ideas could be more robust, particularly in terms of empirical evidence or real-world examples.
  • How to improve: To effectively present and substantiate ideas, the author should incorporate specific examples or data to back up their claims. For instance, citing a case study where government investment led to a significant reduction in pollution or an increase in public transport usage would provide stronger support for the arguments made.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, focusing on the impact of government investment in public transport on reducing pollution. The arguments are relevant and contribute to the overall discussion. However, there are moments where the language becomes slightly vague, such as "the outdated model exhausted lots of fumes," which could benefit from more precise wording.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the author should ensure that all statements are directly tied to the main argument and avoid vague language. Additionally, a brief mention of potential counterarguments or limitations could provide a more balanced view while still staying on topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument. With some enhancements in addressing all parts of the question, providing more robust support for ideas, and maintaining precise language, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument supporting government investment in public transport to reduce pollution. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s stance and previews the main points. Each paragraph addresses a specific argument, contributing to a logical progression of ideas. However, the connection between points could be stronger. For instance, the transition from discussing the improvement of vehicle models to encouraging public transport usage could be more explicit, helping the reader follow the argument more seamlessly.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate back to the thesis statement. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely") can help guide the reader through the argument and clarify how each point builds on the previous one.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each one focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic and states the writer’s opinion, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into specific benefits of government investment. However, the second paragraph could be divided into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the improvement of vehicle models and another on encouraging public transport usage. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve readability.
  • How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance clarity and focus. Each paragraph should ideally contain a single main idea, supported by examples and explanations. This structure will make it easier for readers to digest the information and follow the argument.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for instance" and "therefore," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a more varied use of linking words and phrases. For example, the phrase "this problem can be effectively addressed on by funding from the authorities" could be improved with a clearer connection to the previous sentence, perhaps by using "This issue can be mitigated through…"
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases throughout the essay. Consider using devices that indicate contrast (e.g., "however," "on the other hand"), addition (e.g., "moreover," "in addition"), and cause-effect relationships (e.g., "as a result," "consequently"). This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By improving the logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the range of cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially raising their band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of public transport and pollution. Terms such as "government expenditures," "transport pollution," and "environmentally friendly" are relevant and appropriate. However, there is a noticeable repetition of certain phrases and concepts, such as "public vehicles" and "investment," which limits the lexical diversity. For example, the phrase "public vehicles" appears multiple times without variation, which could have been substituted with synonyms like "public transport" or "mass transit."
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "public vehicles," alternatives like "public transport systems" or "commuter services" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "government funding" instead of "government expenditures" can add variety.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the outdated model exhausted lots of fumes" could be more accurately expressed as "the outdated models emit significant amounts of harmful emissions." Similarly, the phrase "the investment can potentially improve the outdated, not environmentally friendly models" lacks clarity and could be rephrased for better precision.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by selecting words that are specific and contextually appropriate. For example, instead of "improve the outdated models," the writer could say "upgrade the aging fleet of public transport vehicles." Practicing the use of more specific terms will enhance clarity and effectiveness.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with only a few minor errors. However, there are instances where spelling mistakes detract from the overall quality, such as "the improve of environmental quality" (should be "the improvement of environmental quality") and "desire destination" (should be "desired destination").
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission, paying particular attention to commonly misspelled words and phrases. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors that may be overlooked during the writing process. Additionally, practicing spelling through exercises or quizzes can reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "the investment can potentially improve the outdated, not environmentally friendly models of public vehicles" showcases an attempt at complexity. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as starting several sentences with "the" or "this," which can detract from the overall variety. The essay also contains some awkward constructions, such as "the outdated model exhausted lots of fumes," which could be rephrased for clarity and sophistication.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using different sentence openings and varying the length of sentences. Incorporating more complex clauses and transitional phrases can also help. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "the," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "In addition to improving vehicle models, government investment also…" This would create a more engaging flow and demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a good level of grammatical accuracy overall, but there are several notable errors. For example, the phrase "the improve of environmental quality" should be corrected to "the improvement of environmental quality." Additionally, the sentence "when these models replaced by modernized ones" is missing the auxiliary verb "are," which should read "when these models are replaced." Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of auxiliary verbs. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help reinforce these rules. Additionally, proofreading for common errors and ensuring that all sentences are complete and properly structured will enhance overall clarity. The writer could also benefit from reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences to avoid run-on sentences and to clarify meaning.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Government expenditures on public transportation are believed to reduce transport pollution by improving the transport systems as well as reducing ticket prices. From my perspective, I agree that these expenses are essential for enhancing environmental quality by encouraging people to use public transport more frequently and reducing the pollutants caused by outdated public vehicles. This essay presents my statements to clarify my perspective.

The first argument in support of this investment is that it can potentially improve the outdated, environmentally unfriendly models of public vehicles. The outdated models emit significant amounts of fumes, which are proven to be critical for the environment. When these models are replaced by modernized ones, public vehicles will be more sustainable. These changes will significantly reduce transport pollution.

Another benefit to consider is the ability to encourage more people to use public vehicles. One of the concerns when using public transport is the inconvenience of not being able to reach a direct destination. This problem can be effectively addressed through funding from the authorities. For instance, by investing in public transportation, many more routes can be opened, which expands the range of options available to residents to reach their desired destination. This, in turn, attracts more residents to use environmentally friendly forms of transportation. This could potentially significantly reduce pollution from individual vehicles over time.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that government expenditures on public transportation directly address pollution caused by individual vehicles by encouraging residents to use public transport and improving the outdated, unsustainable models of public vehicles.