Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspaper can remain the most important source of news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is said that the dominant position of newspapers as a means of providing information cannot be rivaled, despite the increasing popularity of the Internet among the general public. Personally, I totally disagree with this school of thought, which will be evaluated in this essay.

On the one hand, I suppose that newspapers will continue to be a vital source of news. The key reason is that in many undeveloped areas, the availability of the Internet and Wi-Fi connection are still unanswered, discouraging local residents from updating online news. Therefore, newspapers remain their primary sources of information and knowledge. Furthermore, newspapers can be trusted as reliable sources of news because they employ professional journalists and editors, who are responsible for ensuring the credibility and suitability of what will be published.

On the other hand, the Internet, as a place to find information, will soon replace traditional methods of browsing news such as newspapers. In the past, people relied primarily on physical forms to gather information, significantly slowing down the process of updating news and restricting it to a one-way interaction between publishers and readers. Nevertheless, in this day and age, thanks to the advent of the Internet, people can access both global and local news at a much faster speed on their mobile devices such as smartphones or laptops, regardless of geographical barriers. Additionally, the ability to share articles and post our opinions, and even contribute our own updates on social media makes virtual news collection an attractive option for everyone, as it offers a two-way relationship between news providers and the audience, increasing the efficacy and reliability of news dissemination.

In conclusion, while newspapers can serve as a reliable source of information, I disagree with the perspective that they will still reign supreme, since I believe that the Internet will soon be equally powerful and popular.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is said that" -> "It is commonly believed that"
Explanation: "It is commonly believed that" introduces a more formal and academic tone, enhancing the authority and credibility of the statement.
"cannot be rivaled" -> "cannot be surpassed"
Explanation: "Cannot be surpassed" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "cannot be rivaled," which can imply competition rather than superiority.
"Personally, I totally disagree" -> "I strongly disagree"
Explanation: "I strongly disagree" is more formal and avoids the colloquial tone of "totally," which is too informal for academic writing.
"I suppose" -> "I contend"
Explanation: "I contend" is a stronger, more assertive academic expression than "I suppose," which is somewhat tentative and informal.
"the availability of the Internet and Wi-Fi connection are still unanswered" -> "the availability of the Internet and Wi-Fi connectivity remains limited"
Explanation: "Remains limited" is a more precise and formal way to describe the ongoing challenges in accessing the Internet and Wi-Fi connectivity in certain areas.
"discouraging local residents from updating online news" -> "preventing local residents from accessing online news"
Explanation: "Preventing local residents from accessing online news" is more specific and accurate, as it correctly describes the action of not being able to access news online.
"can be trusted as reliable sources of news" -> "are considered reliable sources of news"
Explanation: "Are considered reliable sources of news" is a more formal and passive construction, which is preferred in academic writing to avoid the direct and informal "can be trusted."
"will soon replace" -> "will increasingly supplant"
Explanation: "Will increasingly supplant" suggests a gradual process, which is more accurate than "will soon replace," which implies a sudden change.
"In the past, people relied primarily on physical forms" -> "Historically, people relied primarily on physical formats"
Explanation: "Historically" is a more formal temporal marker than "In the past," and "formats" is a more precise term than "forms" in the context of media.
"significantly slowing down the process of updating news" -> "substantially slowing the news dissemination process"
Explanation: "Substantially slowing the news dissemination process" is more specific and formal, focusing on the impact on the dissemination of news rather than the process of updating news.
"thanks to the advent of the Internet" -> "owing to the advent of the Internet"
Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal expression than "thanks to," which is somewhat colloquial for academic writing.
"on their mobile devices such as smartphones or laptops" -> "on their mobile devices, including smartphones and laptops"
Explanation: "Including" is more precise and formal than "such as," which can imply a non-exhaustive list.
"makes virtual news collection an attractive option" -> "renders virtual news collection an attractive option"
Explanation: "Renders" is a more formal verb than "makes," fitting better in an academic context.
"increasing the efficacy and reliability of news dissemination" -> "enhancing the efficacy and reliability of news dissemination"
Explanation: "Enhancing" is a more precise and formal term than "increasing," which is somewhat vague in this context.
"I disagree with the perspective that they will still reign supreme" -> "I disagree with the assertion that they will continue to dominate"
Explanation: "The assertion that they will continue to dominate" is a more formal and precise way to express disagreement with a statement about the future dominance of newspapers.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear disagreement with the notion that newspapers will remain the most important source of news. The writer acknowledges the role of newspapers, particularly in underdeveloped areas, while emphasizing the advantages of the Internet. The discussion of both perspectives provides a balanced view, which is essential for a comprehensive response. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the extent to which the writer disagrees, as the prompt asks for a degree of agreement or disagreement.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clarify their position on the extent of their disagreement. This could involve explicitly stating whether they believe newspapers will become obsolete or simply less dominant. Additionally, incorporating more nuanced arguments about the future of both mediums could provide a deeper analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against the idea that newspapers will remain the most important source of news. The writer consistently supports their viewpoint with relevant arguments, such as the limitations of newspapers in terms of speed and interactivity compared to the Internet. However, the initial statement, "I totally disagree with this school of thought," could be more assertively reinforced throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use transitional phrases that reiterate their disagreement at the beginning of each paragraph. For instance, starting the second paragraph with a phrase like "Despite the advantages of newspapers, I firmly believe…" would reinforce their stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-supported ideas, such as the reliability of newspapers and the speed of information dissemination via the Internet. The use of examples, such as the impact of geographical barriers on news access, effectively supports the arguments. However, some points, like the discussion of the two-way relationship in news dissemination, could be further elaborated with specific examples or statistics to enhance credibility.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should consider including more specific examples or data to back up their claims. For instance, citing studies or surveys that highlight the growing preference for online news could strengthen the argument significantly.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both the role of newspapers and the advantages of the Internet. The writer does not deviate from the central theme, which is commendable. However, the conclusion could reiterate the main points more explicitly to reinforce the focus on the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key arguments made in the essay. A brief recap of the main points discussed would help to reinforce the overall argument and ensure that the reader is left with a clear understanding of the writer’s position.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in clarity, elaboration, and summarization, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are well-organized, with the first paragraph discussing the reasons why newspapers remain important, while the second paragraph elaborates on the advantages of the Internet as a news source. This clear delineation of opposing viewpoints helps maintain coherence throughout the essay. For instance, the transition from discussing newspapers to the Internet is smooth, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between the two main points. For example, after discussing the importance of newspapers, a phrase like "However, it is essential to consider the growing influence of the Internet" could serve to better signal the transition to the opposing viewpoint.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs each address a distinct point, making it easy for the reader to follow the writer’s reasoning. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main argument and reiterates the writer’s position, providing closure to the essay.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph. For example, starting the first body paragraph with a sentence like "Firstly, newspapers continue to play a crucial role in news dissemination, especially in underdeveloped areas" would immediately inform the reader of the main idea of that paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting viewpoints. Additionally, phrases like "Furthermore" and "Additionally" help to connect ideas within paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied transitions and connectors, which would enhance the fluidity of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Additionally," you could use alternatives such as "Moreover" or "In addition." Furthermore, using phrases like "Conversely" or "In contrast" when transitioning between opposing viewpoints could strengthen the cohesion of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and fluidity of their arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "dominant position," "vital source," "credibility," and "efficacy." These choices reflect an ability to express complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "the availability of the Internet and Wi-Fi connection are still unanswered" could be improved by using more precise vocabulary, such as "remains limited" instead of "are still unanswered."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "source," alternatives like "medium," "channel," or "platform" could be utilized. Additionally, exploring idiomatic expressions or more sophisticated phrases could elevate the lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "the ability to share articles and post our opinions" could be more clearly articulated as "the capacity to disseminate articles and express opinions." The term "unanswered" in the context mentioned earlier is also misleading, as it suggests a question rather than a lack of availability.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on context and connotation when selecting vocabulary. Reading more academic texts or articles can help in understanding how specific terms are used in context. Practicing paraphrasing sentences can also aid in developing a more nuanced vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely accurate, with no glaring errors that would impede understanding. Words like "information," "credibility," and "dissemination" are spelled correctly, which reflects a solid command of English spelling conventions. However, the phrase "newspaper can remain" should be corrected to "newspapers can remain" to ensure subject-verb agreement.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, paying attention to common pitfalls such as subject-verb agreement and pluralization. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing writing can also help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words can be beneficial for ongoing improvement.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 7. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "the availability of the Internet and Wi-Fi connection are still unanswered, discouraging local residents from updating online news" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional phrases like "if newspapers can serve as a reliable source of information" showcases the ability to express hypothetical situations. However, there are instances of repetitive structure, particularly in the introductory and concluding sentences, which could benefit from more variation.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences and use different sentence openings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "the Internet" or "newspapers," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "Despite the advantages of the Internet, newspapers still hold significant value." This would not only diversify the sentence structures but also improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "the availability of the Internet and Wi-Fi connection are still unanswered" contains a subject-verb agreement error; "availability" is singular, so it should be "is still unanswered." Additionally, punctuation is generally well-handled, though there are a few instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "who are responsible for ensuring the credibility" in the second paragraph.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that singular and plural forms are correctly matched. Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on common pitfalls can also be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should review the rules regarding comma usage, particularly in complex sentences, to ensure that clauses are clearly separated and the meaning is unambiguous. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where punctuation may enhance clarity.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision, the writer can further enhance the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is commonly believed that the dominant position of newspapers as a means of providing information cannot be surpassed, despite the increasing popularity of the Internet among the general public. Personally, I strongly disagree with this viewpoint, which I will evaluate in this essay.

On the one hand, I contend that newspapers will continue to be a vital source of news. The key reason is that in many undeveloped areas, the availability of the Internet and Wi-Fi connectivity remains limited, preventing local residents from accessing online news. Therefore, newspapers remain their primary sources of information and knowledge. Furthermore, newspapers are considered reliable sources of news because they employ professional journalists and editors, who are responsible for ensuring the credibility and suitability of what is published.

On the other hand, the Internet, as a place to find information, will increasingly supplant traditional methods of browsing news, such as newspapers. Historically, people relied primarily on physical formats to gather information, substantially slowing the news dissemination process and restricting it to a one-way interaction between publishers and readers. Nevertheless, in this day and age, owing to the advent of the Internet, people can access both global and local news at a much faster speed on their mobile devices, including smartphones and laptops, regardless of geographical barriers. Additionally, the ability to share articles, post opinions, and even contribute updates on social media renders virtual news collection an attractive option for everyone, as it offers a two-way relationship between news providers and the audience, enhancing the efficacy and reliability of news dissemination.

In conclusion, while newspapers can serve as a reliable source of information, I disagree with the assertion that they will continue to dominate, since I believe that the Internet will soon be equally powerful and popular.