As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, there has been a school of thought that the role of teachers in teaching will be replaced by the computers. I completely disagree with this perception because of forthcoming reasons.
To begin with, this digital invention can serve as a distractor for children. Particularly, studying in classroom requires strict discipline styles enhancing their focus. In other words, there is a minority of students taking advantage of computers to play truant to do other works, such as searching the Internet or playing games, leading to become addicted to the virtual world if they are unable to control themselves . Moreover, chronical absences will have a serious bearing on their academic performance because of not keeping up with the lessons. For instance, during the Covid Pandamic 2021, tutors in Viet Nam admitted that they cannot checkup those who were studying or not when used Zoom as a way to study online and this resulted in virtually low scores in the final exam.
Furthermore, I would contend that teachers still play an important role in educational program. To be more specific, they have a profound experience in their career for many years and dutifully take care of students, which the computers cannot imitate. Those who work in this job usually prepare particular teaching syllabus to ensure that their children can follow the lessons' rhythm in a proper order and this can be altered flexibly in many unforeseeable cases. The perception can be further clarified by the point that teachers have a tendency of following a specific teaching process including delivering lectures, giving in-class assignments, marking scores, and checking the mistakes for their children. In this way, not only can they assess the real progress of students, but they can also easily advise them how to improve their marks from their mistakes. As a result, children are increasingly speeding up the pace of studying and the enhancement can be obviously seen thanks to teachers and even their efforts.
In conclusion, while it is irrefutable that the computers are getting utilized more and more in education, it is a case that teachers still have a crucial role to play owing to the aforementioned drives.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"These days" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "These days."
"a school of thought" -> "a prevailing opinion"
Explanation: "A prevailing opinion" is more specific and academically appropriate than "a school of thought," which can be vague and less formal.
"completely disagree" -> "strongly disagree"
Explanation: "Strongly disagree" is a more formal expression than "completely disagree," aligning better with academic tone.
"forthcoming reasons" -> "the following reasons"
Explanation: "The following reasons" is clearer and more direct, avoiding the awkward and less common "forthcoming reasons."
"digital invention" -> "digital technology"
Explanation: "Digital technology" is a more precise term than "digital invention," which is vague and could refer to anything from a device to a concept.
"strict discipline styles" -> "strict disciplinary measures"
Explanation: "Strict disciplinary measures" is a more formal and accurate term than "strict discipline styles," which is awkward and unclear.
"there is a minority of students" -> "some students"
Explanation: "Some students" is more concise and avoids the unnecessary specificity of "a minority," which can imply a numerical significance that is not intended.
"do other works" -> "engage in other activities"
Explanation: "Engage in other activities" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "do other works," which is informal and imprecise.
"chronical absences" -> "chronic absences"
Explanation: "Chronic" is the correct adjective form, not "chronical."
"Covid Pandamic" -> "COVID-19 pandemic"
Explanation: "COVID-19 pandemic" is the correct and formal term, whereas "Covid Pandamic" is a typographical error and informal.
"checkup" -> "monitor"
Explanation: "Monitor" is the correct verb in this context, replacing the less formal and incorrect "checkup."
"virtually low scores" -> "significantly low scores"
Explanation: "Significantly low scores" is a more precise and formal way to describe the impact of absences on academic performance.
"dutifully take care of students" -> "carefully attend to students"
Explanation: "Carefully attend to students" is more formal and precise than "dutifully take care of students," which is somewhat colloquial.
"prepare particular teaching syllabus" -> "develop specific curricula"
Explanation: "Develop specific curricula" is more formal and accurate than "prepare particular teaching syllabus," which is awkward and unclear.
"following a specific teaching process" -> "adhering to a standardized teaching methodology"
Explanation: "Adhering to a standardized teaching methodology" is more precise and formal than "following a specific teaching process."
"delivering lectures, giving in-class assignments, marking scores, and checking the mistakes" -> "delivering lectures, assigning in-class tasks, grading assignments, and identifying errors"
Explanation: These terms are more specific and academically appropriate than the less formal "giving in-class assignments" and "checking the mistakes."
"speeding up the pace of studying" -> "accelerating their academic progress"
Explanation: "Accelerating their academic progress" is a more formal and precise way to describe the impact of teacher involvement on student learning.
"the enhancement can be obviously seen" -> "the improvement is evident"
Explanation: "The improvement is evident" is a more formal and concise expression than "the enhancement can be obviously seen," which is verbose and informal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a disagreement with the notion that computers will replace teachers in the classroom. The author presents arguments that highlight the limitations of computers as educational tools, such as their potential to distract students and the inability to provide personalized support. The examples provided, particularly the reference to the impact of online learning during the COVID-19 pandemic, illustrate the author’s points well. However, while the essay covers the main aspects of the prompt, it could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing view, which would enhance the depth of the argument.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the author could include a brief discussion of the potential benefits of computers in education, even if they ultimately disagree with the idea of replacing teachers. This would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic and strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing against the replacement of teachers by computers. The use of phrases like "I completely disagree" and the structured presentation of arguments contribute to a cohesive stance. However, the introduction could be more direct in stating the position, as it initially presents the idea as a "school of thought" before clearly stating disagreement.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the author should consider rephrasing the introduction to immediately convey their stance. This could involve stating their disagreement in the opening sentence, which would set a clear tone for the rest of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, with well-developed arguments regarding the role of teachers and the limitations of computers. The author provides specific examples, such as the impact of online learning during the pandemic, which adds credibility to their claims. However, some ideas could be more thoroughly extended; for instance, the discussion on teachers’ adaptability in lesson planning could benefit from further elaboration on how this flexibility directly impacts student learning.
- How to improve: To improve the extension and support of ideas, the author should aim to elaborate on key points with additional examples or explanations. For instance, discussing specific teaching strategies that teachers use to engage students could provide a more robust argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the role of teachers versus computers in education. The arguments made are relevant to the prompt, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened, particularly in the discussion of distractions caused by computers, which could be more tightly linked to the argument about the necessity of teachers.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the author should ensure that every point made directly supports the central argument. This could involve linking the discussion of distractions back to the importance of teachers in providing structure and guidance in the classroom, thereby reinforcing the main thesis throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the notion that computers will replace teachers. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are organized around specific points that support the thesis. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the potential distractions posed by computers, while the second emphasizes the irreplaceable role of teachers in education. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. For example, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "One significant drawback of relying on computers in education is their potential to distract students." This would provide a stronger connection between the thesis and the supporting arguments.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The separation of ideas into paragraphs aids readability and comprehension. However, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother; for instance, the transition from discussing distractions to the role of teachers could be enhanced to create a more cohesive narrative.
- How to improve: Implement transitional phrases to link paragraphs more fluidly. For example, at the end of the first body paragraph, a sentence such as, "In addition to these distractions, the unique contributions of teachers cannot be overlooked," would create a more seamless transition to the next point about teachers’ roles.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Moreover," "To begin with," and "In conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded. For instance, the use of pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas could enhance cohesion further. The phrase "this digital invention" could be replaced with "computers" in subsequent mentions to avoid redundancy and improve clarity.
- How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices by incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For example, consider using "Furthermore" or "Additionally" to introduce new points, and "Consequently" or "As a result" to indicate cause and effect. Additionally, using synonyms or paraphrasing for repeated terms can help maintain reader engagement and clarity.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, effectively conveying the argument against the replacement of teachers by computers. By implementing the suggested improvements, the clarity and flow of the essay can be further enhanced, potentially leading to an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "distractor," "academic performance," and "teaching syllabus." However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "digital invention" could be replaced with "technological advancement" to enhance the lexical variety. Additionally, the use of "minority of students" could be improved to "a small subset of students" for greater precision and variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises can help the writer discover alternative expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "teachers," they could use "educators," "instructors," or "facilitators" to avoid redundancy.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "leading to become addicted" is awkwardly constructed; it would be clearer as "leading to addiction." Additionally, "checkup" is not the appropriate term in this context; "monitor" or "assess" would be more suitable. The phrase "the lessons’ rhythm" is also somewhat unclear and could be better articulated.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on context-appropriate vocabulary. Reading more academic texts and paying attention to how words are used in context can help. Practicing paraphrasing sentences can also aid in developing a more precise vocabulary. For example, the writer could revise "the lessons’ rhythm" to "the pace of the lessons" for clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "Pandamic" (should be "Pandemic") and "chronical" (should be "chronic"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Reading extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion. Engaging with diverse vocabulary sources, practicing precise language use, and focusing on spelling will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "Moreover, chronical absences will have a serious bearing on their academic performance because of not keeping up with the lessons" showcases an understanding of how to convey detailed ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced (e.g., "To begin with," "Furthermore," "In conclusion"). This can make the writing feel formulaic.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied transitional phrases and introductory clauses. For instance, instead of consistently using "To begin with" or "Furthermore," try alternatives like "Initially," "In addition," or "Moreover." Additionally, varying the placement of subordinate clauses can create more dynamic sentence structures. For example, instead of "which the computers cannot imitate," you could say, "a quality that computers cannot imitate."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase "the role of teachers in teaching will be replaced by the computers" should omit "the" before "computers" to read "by computers." Additionally, "chronical absences" should be corrected to "chronic absences." The punctuation is also inconsistent; for example, the phrase "if they are unable to control themselves ." has an unnecessary space before the period. Furthermore, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "the perception can be further clarified by the point that teachers have a tendency of following a specific teaching process," which could be simplified for better clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully for common errors, such as article usage and adjective forms. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also help identify mistakes. Additionally, practicing sentence restructuring can enhance clarity. For punctuation, ensure that spaces before punctuation marks are eliminated and that commas are used correctly to separate clauses. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and improve overall fluency.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy, ultimately leading to a more polished and effective response to the prompt.

Bài sửa mẫu

These days, there is a prevailing opinion that the role of teachers in education will soon be replaced by computers. I strongly disagree with this perception for the following reasons.

To begin with, this digital technology can serve as a distraction for children. Specifically, studying in the classroom requires strict disciplinary measures to enhance their focus. In other words, there is a minority of students who take advantage of computers to play truant and engage in other activities, such as browsing the Internet or playing games, which can lead to addiction to the virtual world if they are unable to control themselves. Moreover, chronic absences can have a serious impact on their academic performance due to not keeping up with the lessons. For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2021, tutors in Vietnam admitted that they could not monitor whether students were studying or not when using Zoom for online classes, resulting in significantly low scores in the final exams.

Furthermore, I contend that teachers still play an essential role in educational programs. To be more specific, they have profound experience gained over many years and carefully attend to students in ways that computers cannot imitate. Those who work in this profession usually develop specific curricula to ensure that their students can follow the lessons’ rhythm in a proper order, which can be adjusted flexibly in many unforeseen circumstances. This point can be further clarified by noting that teachers tend to adhere to a standardized teaching methodology, which includes delivering lectures, assigning in-class tasks, grading assignments, and identifying errors. In this way, they can not only assess the real progress of students but also easily advise them on how to improve their marks based on their mistakes. As a result, children are accelerating their academic progress, and the improvement is evident thanks to the efforts of their teachers.

In conclusion, while it is irrefutable that computers are being utilized more and more in education, it is clear that teachers still have a crucial role to play due to the aforementioned reasons.