Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world reasons and examples to support your statement.

Technology has made our lives better in many ways, but it has also made them more complicated. Technology is often expensive to buy and run, it can be difficult to use, and it often isn't easy to repair.
Technology isn't cheap. The more technology we depend on in our daily lives, the more money we have to spend. Everybody wants a modern TV, a digital camera, a DVD player, etc. Even though these things might be considered luxuries, people want them. In addition, some technology is more than a luxury. For example, teachers nowadays expect their students to have computers at home for their schoolwork. Parents have to buy the latest computers so their children can keep up with their classmates. This can be a real hardship for some families.
Technology isn't always easy to use. In fact, it is getting more and more complicated. The computers of today do many more things than the computers of even just five or ten years ago. That means a lot more things that computer users have to learn how to do. Even a simple thing like using a VCR to record a movie takes some practice and learning. eststore.net
Technology isn't easy to repair. If the average person has a problem with his computer or DVD player, he probably doesn't know how to fix it himself. He'll have to spend time and money taking it to a place to get fixed. In the past, a lot of people enjoyed doing routine maintenance work on their cars. Modern technology has made today's cars more complicated. It is harder to learn how to repair and maintain them. People think modern technology has made our lives easier. In a way this is true, but in other ways it has made our lives much less convenient. Modern technology costs us money and time and can add complications to our lives.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"made our lives better in many ways" -> "enhanced our lives in numerous ways"
Explanation: "Enhanced" is a more precise and formal term than "made better," which is somewhat vague and colloquial for academic writing.
"made them more complicated" -> "increased their complexity"
Explanation: "Increased their complexity" is a more precise and formal way to describe the change in nature of technology’s impact on lives.
"Technology isn’t cheap." -> "Technology is costly."
Explanation: "Costly" is a more formal and precise term than "cheap," which is often associated with informal language.
"Everybody wants" -> "Many individuals desire"
Explanation: "Many individuals desire" is more formal and avoids the colloquial tone of "Everybody wants."
"luxuries" -> "luxury items"
Explanation: "Luxury items" is a more specific term that better fits the context of describing specific goods.
"even though these things might be considered luxuries" -> "although these items may be regarded as luxuries"
Explanation: "Although" is more formal than "even though," and "may be regarded as" is more precise than "might be considered."
"some technology is more than a luxury" -> "certain technologies transcend mere luxury"
Explanation: "Transcend mere luxury" elevates the formality and specificity of the statement.
"real hardship" -> "significant hardship"
Explanation: "Significant hardship" is a more formal expression than "real hardship," which is somewhat colloquial.
"getting more and more complicated" -> "becoming increasingly complex"
Explanation: "Becoming increasingly complex" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase.
"do many more things" -> "perform a wider range of functions"
Explanation: "Perform a wider range of functions" is more precise and formal than "do many more things."
"even a simple thing like using a VCR" -> "even a basic task such as operating a VCR"
Explanation: "Basic task such as operating" is more formal and specific than "simple thing like using."
"eststore.net" -> (remove this as it appears to be an incorrect reference)
Explanation: This appears to be an error or a non-relevant reference and should be removed.
"he probably doesn’t know how to fix it himself" -> "he likely lacks the necessary expertise to repair it"
Explanation: "Lacks the necessary expertise to repair it" is more formal and precise than "doesn’t know how to fix it himself."
"People think modern technology has made our lives easier." -> "Many believe that modern technology has simplified our lives."
Explanation: "Many believe that" is more formal and "simplified our lives" is a more precise term than "made our lives easier."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear stance that technology has made life more complicated, which aligns with the "disagree" position in the statement. However, it fails to explicitly state whether the author agrees or disagrees with the statement at the outset, which could confuse the reader. The essay discusses various aspects of technology, such as cost, usability, and repair difficulties, but it does not sufficiently explore the positive impacts of technology, which are implied but not articulated.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should begin with a clear thesis statement that explicitly states the author’s position. Additionally, it should include a balanced discussion that acknowledges the positive aspects of technology, even if the overall argument leans towards the negative. This would provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position that technology complicates life. However, the lack of an explicit agreement or disagreement at the beginning may lead to some ambiguity. While the author does provide supporting arguments throughout, the absence of a clear stance can detract from the overall coherence of the argument.
- How to improve: The author should clearly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This could be done by summarizing the main points and explicitly linking them back to the thesis, reinforcing the argument throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the complications brought by technology, such as financial burdens, usability issues, and repair challenges. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the need for students to have computers and the complexity of modern devices. However, the ideas could be further developed to provide a more nuanced argument.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author should aim to elaborate on each point with more detailed examples or statistics that illustrate the impact of technology on daily life. Additionally, considering counterarguments or the positive aspects of technology could provide a more balanced and robust discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the complications of technology. However, there are moments where the argument could be more tightly focused. For instance, the mention of VCRs and cars, while relevant, could be streamlined to maintain a clearer focus on the main argument.
- How to improve: The author should ensure that every paragraph directly supports the main thesis. This can be achieved by using topic sentences that clearly relate back to the main argument and by avoiding tangential examples that do not add significant value to the overall discussion.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, it would benefit from clearer articulation of the position, a more balanced exploration of the topic, and tighter focus on the main argument throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that technology has both improved and complicated our lives. However, the organization of ideas could be enhanced. The introduction sets the stage well, but the subsequent paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate back to the thesis. For instance, the second paragraph begins with a focus on cost but does not explicitly connect this point to the overarching argument about complexity. The transition between discussing cost, usability, and repairability is somewhat abrupt, which can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly reference the main argument. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely") can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly. Structuring the essay to first discuss the benefits of technology before addressing its drawbacks could also provide a more balanced perspective.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of technology’s impact, such as cost, usability, and repairability. However, the paragraphs could be more clearly delineated in terms of their internal structure. For example, the second paragraph could be broken down further to discuss the difference between luxury and necessity in technology, which would provide a clearer focus.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by specific examples. Consider starting each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main point, followed by supporting details. Additionally, using concluding sentences to summarize the paragraph’s main idea can reinforce coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "In addition," and "For example," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from more varied expressions to enhance cohesion. For instance, the phrase "In fact" is repeated, which can detract from the overall flow.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "On the other hand," "Consequently," and "As a result." This variety will help to create smoother transitions between ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help maintain cohesion without unnecessary repetition.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates the argument regarding the dual nature of technology’s impact on our lives. By focusing on improving logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "complicated," "luxuries," "hardship," and "routine maintenance." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat basic and repetitive, particularly with the frequent use of "technology" and "easy." For instance, the phrase "isn’t easy to repair" is repeated without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "technology," they could use "gadgets," "devices," or "innovations." Additionally, employing more varied adjectives and adverbs could enrich the descriptions, such as using "costly" instead of "expensive" or "challenging" instead of "difficult."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay conveys its points adequately, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "modern technology costs us money and time" could be more specific by detailing what types of costs are involved (e.g., "financial burdens" or "time-consuming processes"). Additionally, the term "complicated" is somewhat vague and could be replaced with more specific descriptors like "intricate" or "multifaceted."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that conveys specific meanings. For instance, instead of saying "it is getting more and more complicated," they could specify how technology is evolving, such as "the increasing integration of features in modern devices has led to greater complexity." This approach will enhance clarity and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a notable spelling error: "eststore.net," which appears to be an unintended inclusion and disrupts the flow of the text. Aside from this, the spelling of other words is generally accurate, indicating a solid grasp of basic spelling rules.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully to catch any typographical errors or unintended inclusions. Utilizing spell-check tools or reading the essay aloud can help identify mistakes. Additionally, practicing spelling for commonly used academic vocabulary can further improve overall spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, using more precise language, and ensuring correct spelling, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For example, the writer effectively uses compound sentences such as "Technology is often expensive to buy and run, it can be difficult to use, and it often isn’t easy to repair." However, the essay could benefit from more complex structures that incorporate subordinate clauses to enhance depth and sophistication.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences that use conjunctions like "although," "because," and "while." For instance, instead of saying, "Technology isn’t easy to repair," the writer could say, "Although technology has advanced significantly, it isn’t easy to repair, which can lead to frustration for many users." This will not only improve the range of structures but also add nuance to the arguments presented.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "the computers of today do many more things than the computers of even just five or ten years ago" is clear and grammatically correct. However, there are instances of punctuation issues, such as the lack of a period at the end of the sentence "Even a simple thing like using a VCR to record a movie takes some practice and learning." Additionally, the phrase "eststore.net" appears to be an error, likely a remnant from a copy-paste action, which detracts from the overall professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread their work to catch minor errors and ensure that all sentences are complete. Practicing punctuation rules, particularly around commas and periods, will also help. Furthermore, the writer should avoid including irrelevant text or links, as these can confuse readers and undermine the essay’s credibility. A thorough review of the essay before submission can help eliminate such errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, but by focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Technology has enhanced our lives in numerous ways, but it has also increased their complexity. Technology is often expensive to buy and run; it can be difficult to use, and it often isn’t easy to repair.

Technology isn’t cheap. The more technology we depend on in our daily lives, the more money we have to spend. Many individuals desire a modern TV, a digital camera, a DVD player, etc. Although these items may be regarded as luxuries, people want them. In addition, some technology transcends mere luxury. For example, teachers nowadays expect their students to have computers at home for their schoolwork. Parents have to buy the latest computers so their children can keep up with their classmates. This can be a significant hardship for some families.

Technology isn’t always easy to use. In fact, it is becoming increasingly complex. The computers of today perform a wider range of functions than the computers of even just five or ten years ago. That means there are many more things that computer users have to learn how to do. Even a basic task such as operating a VCR to record a movie takes some practice and learning.

Technology isn’t easy to repair. If the average person has a problem with his computer or DVD player, he likely lacks the necessary expertise to repair it himself. He’ll have to spend time and money taking it to a place to get fixed. In the past, a lot of people enjoyed doing routine maintenance work on their cars. Modern technology has made today’s cars more complicated. It is harder to learn how to repair and maintain them. Many believe that modern technology has simplified our lives. In a way, this is true, but in other ways, it has made our lives much less convenient. Modern technology costs us money and time and can add complications to our lives.