Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush.
What are the reasons for this?
Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Together with the development of technology, the number of people using traditional tools such as pens, pencils, or brushes tends to be on the decrease. In this essay, I will outline some reasons for this decline and I also believe that this tendency might be a negative development notwithstanding its several benefits.
The major reason for the decrease in handwriting is digitalization (digital revolution). The advent of smart devices – including computers, tablets, and smartphones – offers convenient methods of communication and writing. Particularly, writing digitally allows users to type, share, and edit documents easily along with some special tools integrated into platforms like spell check, or text prediction. Therefore, these features make digital writing appealing and efficient. In addition, the shift away from manual writing to digital one to keep up with the fast-paced nature of modern life. Today, people get stuck in hectic schedules, and hence they may not have sufficient time to write by hand. They prefer quick note-taking methods on portable equipment instead. There is no need for them to bring a notebook, pencils, or pens, which are cumbersome.
Regardless of the aforementioned benefits, this trend also brings about negative consequences. The abandoning of handwriting has resulted in the loss of cultural identity and customary relationships. For example, each stroke of a letter may reflect your feelings and affection to the receiver, but emailing or preprinted cards are emotionless. According to certain studies, writing by hand may have several beneficial impacts on brain processes. Its benefits are comparable to those of studying music, such as rehabilitation, creativity, and social involvement. If handwriting becomes obsolete in the future, human awareness may suffer to some extent.
In conclusion, it is evident that the involvement of technology makes our life, let alone writing, more convenient. From my perspective, the decline of handwriting has a bad influence on our spiritual life and society. Therefore, it is preferable for us to combine old ways with current technologies in a balanced way.
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Errors and Improvements:
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"Together with the development of technology" -> "With the advancement of technology"
Explanation: The suggested improvement removes the informal phrase "together with" and replaces it with a more concise and formal alternative, "with the advancement of technology." -
"number of people using traditional tools such as pens, pencils, or brushes tends to be on the decrease" -> "decline in the use of traditional tools such as pens, pencils, or brushes"
Explanation: The suggested improvement rephrases the sentence to enhance formality by using "decline" instead of "tends to be on the decrease." -
"In this essay, I will outline some reasons for this decline, and I also believe that this tendency might be a negative development notwithstanding its several benefits." -> "In this essay, I will delineate reasons for this decline, and I contend that this trend may have adverse implications despite its various benefits."
Explanation: The suggested improvement replaces the informal phrase "outline" with the more formal "delineate" and offers a more precise alternative for "I also believe," enhancing the overall formality of the sentence. -
"The major reason for the decrease in handwriting is digitalization (digital revolution)." -> "The primary cause for the decline in handwriting is digitization."
Explanation: The suggested improvement substitutes "major reason" with "primary cause" for a more precise and formal expression. Additionally, "digitalization" is changed to "digitization" for consistency and clarity. -
"writing digitally allows users to type, share, and edit documents easily along with some special tools integrated into platforms like spell check or text prediction." -> "writing digitally enables users to easily type, share, and edit documents, leveraging specialized tools integrated into platforms such as spell check and text prediction."
Explanation: The suggested improvement streamlines the sentence for clarity and formality, using "enables" instead of "allows" and reordering the sentence structure. -
"In addition, the shift away from manual writing to digital one to keep up with the fast-paced nature of modern life." -> "Furthermore, the transition from manual writing to digital methods aligns with the fast-paced nature of modern life."
Explanation: The suggested improvement enhances the formality and clarity of the sentence by rephrasing and restructuring it. -
"They prefer quick note-taking methods on portable equipment instead." -> "They prefer expedient note-taking methods on portable devices instead."
Explanation: The suggested improvement replaces "quick" with "expedient" for a more formal expression while maintaining clarity. -
"There is no need for them to bring a notebook, pencils, or pens, which are cumbersome." -> "Eliminating the necessity to carry notebooks, pencils, or pens, which can be cumbersome."
Explanation: The suggested improvement provides a more concise and formal alternative while maintaining the intended meaning. -
"Regardless of the aforementioned benefits, this trend also brings about negative consequences." -> "Despite the aforementioned benefits, this trend also entails adverse consequences."
Explanation: The suggested improvement replaces "brings about" with "entails" for a more formal and precise expression. -
"For example, each stroke of a letter may reflect your feelings and affection to the receiver, but emailing or preprinted cards are emotionless." -> "For instance, each stroke in a handwritten letter may convey feelings and affection to the recipient, whereas emails or preprinted cards lack emotional depth."
Explanation: The suggested improvement enhances formality and clarity by rephrasing and specifying the comparison.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
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Quoted text: "The advent of smart devices – including computers, tablets, and smartphones – offers convenient methods of communication and writing."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: The essay effectively addresses the impact of smart devices on writing practices. However, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into how these devices specifically affect handwriting decline. Providing examples or anecdotes showcasing how people now prefer typing messages on smartphones rather than writing letters by hand could strengthen this point.
- Improved example: "The prevalence of smartphones has revolutionized communication, compelling individuals to type quick messages instead of composing handwritten letters. For instance, my own experience demonstrates that I now rely on messaging apps to communicate with friends, foregoing the traditional practice of writing letters due to the ease and speed of digital communication."
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Quoted text: "Today, people get stuck in hectic schedules, and hence they may not have sufficient time to write by hand."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: While acknowledging the time constraints is valid, the argument could benefit from expanding on the impact of these time limitations. For instance, offering personal experiences or scenarios where individuals faced time constraints and opted for digital writing over handwriting would add depth to this point.
- Improved example: "The modern lifestyle’s fast pace often limits our time for handwritten communication. For instance, during my college exams, I found myself pressed for time and resorted to typing notes on my laptop instead of writing them by hand, reflecting the practicality of digital writing in time-constrained situations."
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Quoted text: "The abandoning of handwriting has resulted in the loss of cultural identity and customary relationships."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: This argument regarding the loss of cultural identity due to abandoned handwriting is poignant. However, to enhance this point, it would be beneficial to provide more vivid examples or personal anecdotes that highlight the emotional value attached to handwritten communication.
- Improved example: "Handwritten letters often carry sentimental value, reflecting a personal touch that digital communication lacks. For instance, receiving a handwritten note from a relative on my birthday always felt more special than a digital message, evoking emotions through the individuality of their handwriting and personal expressions."
Overall, the essay effectively presents arguments regarding the impact of technology on declining handwriting. Strengthening these arguments with personal examples or anecdotes would further enhance the depth and persuasiveness of the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. It logically organizes ideas, presenting clear progression throughout the essay. Each paragraph revolves around a central topic, contributing to the overall coherence. There is effective use of cohesive devices, although there are instances of slight overuse (e.g., repetition of "digital" and "writing"). Despite this, the essay maintains a clear line of argument and connects ideas smoothly.
The introduction effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear thesis statement. Body paragraphs develop the reasons for the decline in handwriting, addressing both positive and negative aspects. Transitions between ideas are mostly smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. The conclusion reinforces the main argument while summarizing the discussion points.
How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion:
- Vary the vocabulary to avoid repetition of key terms.
- Strengthen the use of transitional phrases to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs.
- Ensure a more balanced use of cohesive devices without overemphasis on certain terms.
- Aim for more diverse sentence structures to elevate the overall writing style and maintain reader engagement.
Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains coherence, minor improvements in varied expression and nuanced use of cohesive devices could elevate its score further.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expressing ideas. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, such as "digitalization" and "cumbersome," contributing to a varied vocabulary. While there is some awareness of style and collocation, occasional errors in word choice and spelling are present, such as "fast-paced nature" (should be "fast-paced lifestyle") and "let alone writing" (may be improved as "not to mention writing"). The essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing reasons for the decline in handwriting and presenting both positive and negative aspects of this trend.
How to improve:
- Refinement of Word Choice: Pay attention to the precision of word choices and ensure that they fit seamlessly into the context. For instance, consider alternatives to "fast-paced nature" for a more accurate expression.
- Spelling Accuracy: Review the essay for spelling errors, such as the use of "notwithstanding" where "despite" might be more suitable.
- Sentence Structure: Enhance sentence structures to further elevate the fluency and sophistication of the essay. For example, consider rephrasing "Today, people get stuck in hectic schedules" to a more polished form like "In the contemporary era, individuals find themselves ensnared in busy schedules."
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures, utilizing a variety of complex sentences. There is a consistent effort to use a range of structures, contributing to a generally effective and clear expression of ideas. The majority of sentences are error-free, showcasing good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few instances of minor errors and awkward phrasing, such as "In this essay, I will outline some reasons for this decline and I also believe that this tendency might be a negative development notwithstanding its several benefits." The use of "notwithstanding" may be considered slightly awkward and could be expressed more smoothly. Despite these occasional errors, the writer maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy overall.
How to improve:
To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures for more fluency. Additionally, careful proofreading to eliminate minor errors and improve the overall flow of the essay is recommended. The expression "notwithstanding its several benefits" can be revised for greater clarity and coherence. For instance, "Despite its various advantages, I believe this trend might have negative implications." This revision maintains the meaning while improving the flow of the sentence.
Bài sửa mẫu
In conjunction with the advancement of technology, there is a noticeable decline in the use of traditional tools like pens, pencils, or brushes. In this essay, I will delineate reasons for this decline and argue that this trend may have adverse implications despite its various benefits.
The primary cause for the decline in handwriting is digitization. Writing digitally enables users to easily type, share, and edit documents, leveraging specialized tools integrated into platforms such as spell check and text prediction. Furthermore, the transition from manual writing to digital methods aligns with the fast-paced nature of modern life. Individuals today prefer expedient note-taking methods on portable devices, eliminating the necessity to carry notebooks, pencils, or pens, which can be cumbersome.
Despite the aforementioned benefits, this trend also entails adverse consequences. For instance, each stroke in a handwritten letter may convey feelings and affection to the recipient, whereas emails or preprinted cards lack emotional depth.
In conclusion, while the integration of technology makes life, including writing, more convenient, the decline of handwriting has a negative influence on our spiritual life and society. It is preferable for us to combine old ways with current technologies in a balanced way.
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