In order to study at university, students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

School of thought are divergent concerning whether or not the cost for educational intuations must be free for every student. In this essay will discuss both side of this issue and conclude by explaining my own view.

The opinion is that government should sponsor fees for university has brings a lot of arguments. Firstly , government subsidies for higher education will bring a benefit to young adolescent to be able to study at the university regardless of their family background . It result in the civilized society .This financial support increase the rate of student enrolling in universities and also mitigates their feeling of inferiority. Secondly , free higher education would probably rise the amount of highly qualified workers , leading to many quality human capital , fostering economic growth and technological development any nations.

In the other hand , the government cover the college fees for students might cause students indifferent to learning and unrespect of the lesson .The student have no interest in school or they will study without motivation ( the money instead has pay by their parents) . Therefor the students has been laziness and spent school time for hangout, games,… .Because people especially young adults tend to not cherish free things . Furthermore, the government pay for study fees in college will impact to the income of schools , the quality of the facility will decrease by the low income of college, consequences to the quality of the class might be sharply drop . For example , the productivity of teachers , facility was being affect by low finance that school sponsoring for them. From that the ineffective will cut back of on the lesson , the quality of student will also warning.

In conclusion, I believe that government should cover half of the college fees for students and three quarter or even free for distinguish students for maintain the quality of student and university also to maintain they motivation at school.

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Errors and Improvements:

"School of thought are divergent" -> "Opinions diverge"
Explanation: "School of thought" is an overly elaborate phrase for expressing differing opinions. "Opinions diverge" is more concise and appropriate for academic writing.
"whether or not the cost for educational intuations must be free" -> "whether educational institutions should be tuition-free"
Explanation: "Whether or not the cost for educational intuitions must be free" is awkward and unclear. "Whether educational institutions should be tuition-free" is clearer and more concise.
"In this essay will discuss both side of this issue" -> "This essay will discuss both sides of the issue"
Explanation: Correcting the subject-verb agreement from "will discuss" to "discusses" improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"The opinion is that government should sponsor fees for university has brings a lot of arguments" -> "The argument that governments should subsidize university fees has various points"
Explanation: "Has brings a lot of arguments" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Various points" is a more concise and suitable phrase for academic writing.
"Firstly" -> "First"
Explanation: "Firstly" is overly informal for academic writing. "First" is a more suitable transition word.
"It result in the civilized society" -> "This results in a more civilized society"
Explanation: "It result in the civilized society" lacks clarity and correct subject-verb agreement. "This results in a more civilized society" is clearer and grammatically correct.
"free higher education would probably rise the amount of highly qualified workers" -> "Free higher education would likely increase the number of highly qualified workers"
Explanation: "Probably rise the amount" is imprecise and awkward. "Likely increase the number" is more precise and formal.
"fostering economic growth and technological development any nations" -> "fostering economic growth and technological development in many nations"
Explanation: "Any nations" is incorrect; "in many nations" is more appropriate.
"In the other hand" -> "On the other hand"
Explanation: "In the other hand" is incorrect; "On the other hand" is the appropriate phrase to introduce contrasting ideas.
"the government cover the college fees for students might cause students indifferent to learning" -> "Government coverage of college fees for students might lead to indifference towards learning"
Explanation: "The government cover the college fees for students might cause students indifferent to learning" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "Government coverage of college fees for students might lead to indifference towards learning" is clearer and more precise.
"unrespect of the lesson" -> "disrespect for the lessons"
Explanation: "Unrespect of the lesson" is grammatically incorrect. "Disrespect for the lessons" is the correct phrase.
"they will study without motivation ( the money instead has pay by their parents)" -> "they will study without motivation, relying solely on their parents’ financial support"
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and awkward. Clarifying that students rely on their parents’ financial support provides better context.
"Therefor the students has been laziness" -> "Therefore, the students may become lazy"
Explanation: "Therefor the students has been laziness" is grammatically incorrect. "Therefore, the students may become lazy" is clearer and more grammatically accurate.
"spent school time for hangout, games,…" -> "spend their school time on socializing, games, and other activities"
Explanation: "Spent school time for hangout, games,…" is awkward and informal. "Spend their school time on socializing, games, and other activities" is more formal and clearer.
"Because people especially young adults tend to not cherish free things" -> "Because people, especially young adults, tend not to value things that are free"
Explanation: "Tend to not cherish free things" is informal. "Tend not to value things that are free" is more formal and precise.
"Furthermore, the government pay for study fees in college will impact to the income of schools" -> "Furthermore, government funding of college tuition fees will impact school incomes"
Explanation: "The government pay for study fees in college will impact to the income of schools" is awkward and unclear. "Government funding of college tuition fees will impact school incomes" is clearer and more concise.
"the quality of the facility will decrease by the low income of college" -> "the quality of facilities will decrease due to decreased college income"
Explanation: "The quality of the facility will decrease by the low income of college" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "The quality of facilities will decrease due to decreased college income" is clearer and more grammatically accurate.
"consequences to the quality of the class might be sharply drop" -> "resulting in a sharp decline in class quality"
Explanation: "Consequences to the quality of the class might be sharply drop" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Resulting in a sharp decline in class quality" is clearer and more concise.
"the productivity of teachers , facility was being affect by low finance that school sponsoring for them" -> "the productivity of teachers and the quality of facilities are affected by the low financial support provided by the school"
Explanation: "Facility was being affect by low finance that school sponsoring for them" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "The productivity of teachers and the quality of facilities are affected by the low financial support provided by the school" is clearer and more grammatically accurate.
"the ineffective will cut back of on the lesson" -> "this inefficiency will result in a reduction of lesson quality"
Explanation: "The ineffective will cut back of on the lesson" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "This inefficiency will result in a reduction of lesson quality" is clearer and more grammatically accurate.
"the quality of student will also warning" -> "the quality of students will also decline"
Explanation: "The quality of student will also warning" is grammatically incorrect. "The quality of students will also decline" is clearer and more grammatically accurate.
"government should cover half of the college fees for students and three quarter or even free for distinguish students" -> "the government should cover half of the college fees for all students and provide three-quarters or even full coverage for outstanding students"
Explanation: "Government should cover half of the college fees for students and three quarter or even free for distinguish students" is unclear and lacks precision. "The government should cover half of the college fees for all students and provide three-quarters or even full coverage for outstanding students" is clearer and more precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address all parts of the question by presenting arguments both in favor and against the idea of free university education. It acknowledges the perspectives of those advocating for free education and those opposing it. However, the analysis lacks depth in examining the extent to which the essay agrees or disagrees with the prompt.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure a clear and thorough analysis of the extent to which you agree or disagree with the prompt. Instead of merely presenting both sides, provide a more nuanced perspective by evaluating the strengths and weaknesses of each argument in relation to your own stance.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a clear position by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of free university education. However, the stance of the writer is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. While the introduction states that both sides will be discussed and the conclusion offers a compromise, the body paragraphs do not consistently support or oppose the idea of free education.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, clearly state your position in the introduction and ensure that each body paragraph supports this position. Avoid introducing conflicting viewpoints without clearly indicating your stance on them.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks development and support. While arguments are made for both sides, they are not thoroughly elaborated upon or supported with evidence or examples. For instance, the essay mentions benefits such as increased enrollment and economic growth but does not provide specific examples or data to bolster these claims.
- How to improve: Strengthen the essay by providing detailed explanations, examples, and evidence to support each argument. Use specific examples, statistics, or real-world scenarios to illustrate the potential consequences or benefits of free university education.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the pros and cons of free university education. However, there are instances where the discussion veers slightly off track, such as when discussing student behavior and the impact on school income and facilities.
- How to improve: To stay more focused on the topic, ensure that all arguments directly relate to the issue of whether university education should be free for everyone. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to the central argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an attempt to address the prompt and present arguments from both perspectives, it lacks depth, consistency, and support for its ideas. To improve, focus on providing a clear, well-supported position, developing ideas thoroughly, and staying closely aligned with the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at organization, with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are some inconsistencies in the logical flow. For instance, the introduction briefly mentions discussing both sides of the issue, but the subsequent paragraphs only focus on arguments supporting the government covering university fees. Additionally, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph corresponds directly to a particular aspect of the argument. Clearly delineate between arguments supporting and opposing the idea of free university education. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the progression of ideas, aiding coherence and cohesion.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited. Each paragraph contains multiple ideas without clear topic sentences or coherent development. For example, the second paragraph discusses both the benefits and drawbacks of government subsidies for higher education without a clear separation of ideas.
- How to improve: Focus on structuring each paragraph around a single main idea. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the central point. Then, provide supporting details and examples to strengthen the argument. Ensure that paragraphs flow logically from one to the next, maintaining coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay makes some use of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases like "Firstly" and "In conclusion." However, the variety and effectiveness of these devices are limited. Additionally, there are instances where the connection between ideas within and between paragraphs could be strengthened.
- How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices to create stronger connections between ideas and paragraphs. Incorporate a variety of transitional words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "On the other hand," to signal shifts in argumentation and enhance coherence. Ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and appropriately throughout the essay to guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates some organization and attempts at paragraphing, there is room for improvement in enhancing coherence and cohesion. By refining paragraph structure, utilizing cohesive devices effectively, and ensuring a logical flow of ideas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, contributing to a more cohesive and impactful argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts at varied word choice. For instance, terms like "divergent," "subsidies," "inferiority," "indifferent," and "cherish" showcase an attempt to use diverse vocabulary. However, there is room for improvement in the range and sophistication of vocabulary. The repetition of phrases like "government should cover" could be replaced with more nuanced language to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, aim to incorporate a wider array of vocabulary, including synonyms and more precise terminology, especially when expressing complex ideas. Utilize resources like a thesaurus to explore synonyms and deepen your vocabulary pool. Additionally, consider incorporating domain-specific vocabulary related to education and economics to bolster the sophistication of your writing.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays some instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, detracting from the overall clarity and precision of expression. For example, the phrase "government cover the college fees" could be refined to "government subsidizes university tuition" for greater precision. Additionally, the term "warning" in the phrase "the quality of student will also warning" appears to be misused, possibly intended to convey a decline or deterioration.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, carefully consider the context in which words are employed and ensure they accurately convey the intended meaning. Utilize precise terminology relevant to the topic to articulate ideas clearly and effectively. Proofreading and revising your writing can help identify and rectify imprecise language, ensuring greater clarity and coherence.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair level of spelling accuracy, although there are noticeable errors throughout the text. For instance, "intuations" should be corrected to "institutions," "has brings" should be "has brought," "therefor" should be "therefore," and "distinguish" should be "distinguished." These spelling errors, while not pervasive, impact the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checkers available in word processing software. Additionally, proofreading your writing carefully before submission can help catch and correct spelling errors. Developing a habit of reviewing and revising your work for spelling accuracy will contribute to producing polished and error-free essays.

By addressing these areas of improvement, you can elevate the lexical resource of your essays, resulting in clearer, more sophisticated, and higher-scoring compositions.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. There is an attempt to incorporate a range of sentence patterns, but some structures are repetitive, affecting the overall variety and sophistication of the essay. For instance, the essay predominantly uses simple sentences, and there is limited use of complex structures such as relative clauses or conditional sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of sentence types. Introducing complex structures like relative clauses, conditional sentences, and participial phrases can add depth and complexity to the essay. Additionally, varying sentence lengths and structures can improve the flow and coherence of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors throughout. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("the government cover the college fees"), tense consistency ("result in the civilized society"), article usage ("the opinion is that government"), and punctuation misuse ("In this essay will discuss both side"). These errors occasionally hinder the clarity and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on revising sentence structure and paying attention to grammar rules. Proofreading the essay carefully to identify and correct errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, article usage, and punctuation will enhance the overall clarity and readability of the writing. Additionally, seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar resources can aid in identifying and rectifying these errors effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

Opinions diverge on whether educational institutions should be tuition-free. This essay will discuss both sides of the issue.

The argument that governments should subsidize university fees has various points. Firstly, this results in a more civilized society. Free higher education would likely increase the number of highly qualified workers, fostering economic growth and technological development in many nations.

On the other hand, government coverage of college fees for students might lead to indifference towards learning and disrespect for the lessons. They will study without motivation, relying solely on their parents’ financial support. Therefore, the students may become lazy and spend their school time on socializing, games, and other activities. Because people, especially young adults, tend not to value things that are free.

Furthermore, government funding of college tuition fees will impact school incomes. The quality of facilities will decrease due to decreased college income, resulting in a sharp decline in class quality. The productivity of teachers and the quality of facilities are affected by the low financial support provided by the school. This inefficiency will result in a reduction of lesson quality, and the quality of students will also decline.

In conclusion, I believe that the government should cover half of the college fees for all students and provide three-quarters or even full coverage for outstanding students to maintain the quality of students and universities and to maintain their motivation at school.