It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people think that this is a waste of money, while others believe the opposite.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Controversy has been engendered towards the huge financial funds that will be required should a nation host an international sports event. While some individuals ardently argue that this practice is a waste of money, others hold the opposing view. This essay will assert both viewpoints with rationale before concluding that I support the latter.
One valid argument may associate a worldwide sports event with financial wastefulness. This line of reasoning gains strength when considering the transient nature of such sports celebrations. Unquestionably, the host country tends to ensure the splendor of those events, hence its huge monetary investments in the celebrating process. Despite the extravagant decorations, hosting sports events with their inherently transient effects can ultimately result in a financial waste. For example, Bac Giang Province, a Vietnamese host country of Sea Games 31st, once invested a significant amount of funds in both indoor amenities and outdoor surroundings for the site where that event took place, yet it could only generate short-term media impact.
While the above-mentioned acknowledgment is wholly warranted, it is important to note that investing in an international sports event is not a mere financial strain but it has a critical role in stimulating the local economy. It can be said that meticulous preparation and professional conduct of a sports event could give the international guests a sense of the host country's professionalism. Such favorable impressions may foster bilateral diplomacy among countries. Qatar is a glaring testament to this assertion. When this nation took host of the World Cup, it was so dedicated to the facilities that it was showered with praises from the press, helping Qatar to become a respectful model of its professionalism and commitment. Thus, should a host nation distribute funds sparingly to an international event, it may appear notorious and probably miss diplomatic opportunities. While the former argument cannot be dismissed outright, however, the thinking that advocates for the opposite view holds more merit.
Ultimately, there are two parties, with one condemning hosting an international sports event as being financially wasteful, and the other supporting the opposite. I am inclined to concur with the second viewpoint for the positive impact on diplomatic relations that this practice would yield.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
"huge financial funds" -> "substantial financial resources"
Explanation: "Huge financial funds" is redundant and lacks precision. "Substantial financial resources" maintains the intended meaning while sounding more formal and specific.
"Controversy has been engendered towards" -> "Controversy surrounds"
Explanation: Simplifying "engendered towards" to "surrounds" retains the essence of the sentence in a more concise and direct manner, fitting for academic writing.
"individuals ardently argue" -> "individuals strongly argue"
Explanation: While "ardently" isn’t incorrect, "strongly" is a more neutral and precise term suitable for academic contexts, avoiding overly emotional language.
"this practice is a waste of money" -> "this practice is financially imprudent"
Explanation: "Waste of money" is colloquial; "financially imprudent" is a more formal and academic way to express the same idea.
"assert both viewpoints with rationale" -> "present both viewpoints with reasoning"
Explanation: "Assert" is a bit forceful in this context; "present" is a more neutral term. "Rationale" can be replaced with "reasoning" for a more straightforward and formal tone.
"One valid argument may associate" -> "One valid argument may link"
Explanation: "Associate" can be vague; "link" is a clearer and more direct synonym, fitting for academic discussion.
"splendor of those events" -> "grandeur of such events"
Explanation: "Splendor" has a more subjective connotation; "grandeur" is a bit more formal and neutral in tone.
"Bac Giang Province, a Vietnamese host country of Sea Games 31st" -> "Bac Giang Province, the host of the 31st Sea Games in Vietnam"
Explanation: Rearranging the phrasing for clarity and precision, placing the location before the event for better readability.
"it could only generate short-term media impact" -> "it only yielded short-term media coverage"
Explanation: "Generate short-term media impact" is a bit awkward; "yielded short-term media coverage" is a more natural way to convey the idea.
"acknowledgment is wholly warranted" -> "acknowledgment is valid"
Explanation: "Wholly warranted" might sound a bit overstated; "valid" maintains the meaning without excessive emphasis.
"meticulous preparation and professional conduct" -> "careful preparation and professional execution"
Explanation: "Meticulous" might be seen as slightly informal; "careful" maintains the idea while being more academically appropriate.
"foster bilateral diplomacy among countries" -> "enhance bilateral diplomatic relations"
Explanation: "Foster" could be replaced with "enhance" for a more precise and formal tone, and "among countries" with "diplomatic relations" for clarity.
"glaring testament to this assertion" -> "clear evidence supporting this claim"
Explanation: "Glaring testament" might sound a bit informal; "clear evidence supporting this claim" is a more formal and precise alternative.
"showered with praises from the press" -> "commended by the press"
Explanation: "Showered with praises" is informal; "commended" is a more formal term conveying the same idea.
"it may appear notorious" -> "it may tarnish its reputation"
Explanation: "Appear notorious" has a slightly off tone; "tarnish its reputation" is a more fitting and formal alternative.
"probably miss diplomatic opportunities" -> "potentially miss diplomatic opportunities"
Explanation: "Probably" is less formal; "potentially" maintains the uncertainty but in a more academic manner.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Quoted text: "While the above-mentioned acknowledgment is wholly warranted, it is important to note that investing in an international sports event is not a mere financial strain but it has a critical role in stimulating the local economy."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint regarding the stimulation of the local economy is clear and well-developed. However, it lacks specific examples or further elaboration to reinforce this argument. To strengthen this point, consider incorporating examples of how hosting an international sports event can generate revenue for local businesses through increased tourism, infrastructure development, or job creation. This will add depth to your argument and enhance the overall support for the viewpoint.
- Improved example: "While acknowledging the concerns about the financial strain, it’s vital to emphasize that hosting international sports events can substantially boost the local economy. For instance, during the London Olympics in 2012, the city saw a surge in tourism, leading to increased revenue for local businesses such as hotels, restaurants, and souvenir shops. Moreover, the infrastructure improvements made for the event, like transportation networks, continued benefiting the city long after the games concluded, contributing to sustained economic growth."
Quoted text: "It can be said that meticulous preparation and professional conduct of a sports event could give the international guests a sense of the host country’s professionalism."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: This argument emphasizes the positive image projected by a well-organized sports event. However, it lacks depth in explaining how this professionalism translates into tangible diplomatic opportunities. To enhance this point, consider providing specific instances where a country’s successful hosting of a sports event led to improved diplomatic relations or facilitated bilateral agreements. This will bolster your argument by offering concrete examples of how hosting international events positively impacts diplomatic ties.
- Improved example: "The meticulous organization and execution of a sports event not only display a country’s professionalism but also serve as a platform for fostering diplomatic relations. For instance, when Brazil hosted the FIFA World Cup in 2014, its seamless management of the event and warm reception to international guests contributed to improved global perceptions and strengthened diplomatic ties. This led to subsequent collaborations and trade agreements with participating nations, showcasing how effective event hosting can translate into tangible diplomatic benefits."
Overall, while the essay adequately presents and supports both viewpoints, there’s room for improvement in providing more specific and illustrative examples to bolster arguments and deepen the discussion. Strengthening the examples would enhance the coherence and persuasiveness of the essay’s content, contributing to a more comprehensive response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout. Cohesive devices are used effectively, contributing to the overall coherence. The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, presenting a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before expressing the author’s opinion. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, though there is room for improvement in the organization of certain ideas within paragraphs. The essay effectively employs a range of cohesive devices, contributing to its overall coherence.
How to improve:
- Consider refining the organization within paragraphs to enhance clarity and coherence. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic, and ideas within the paragraphs flow logically.
- While the use of cohesive devices is generally effective, pay attention to possible overuse or underuse. Ensure that these devices contribute naturally to the overall flow of the essay without attracting undue attention.
- Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing key points and reinforcing the author’s stance on hosting international sports events.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, but some adjustments in paragraph organization and cohesive device usage could elevate it to a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expression. There is an attempt to incorporate less common lexical items, and an awareness of style and collocation is evident. The essay maintains coherence, and errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation are occasional, with no significant impediment to communication.
How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource and move towards a higher band score, consider incorporating a more extensive variety of vocabulary, including more sophisticated and nuanced terms. Aim for greater precision in word choice and collocation to elevate the overall lexical quality. Additionally, ensure meticulous proofreading to minimize occasional errors in spelling and word formation. This will contribute to a more polished and refined expression of ideas.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures and complex language use. There’s an attempt to incorporate a range of vocabulary and sentence formations. Overall, the essay maintains a reasonably strong control of grammar and punctuation, with most sentences being error-free. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors that do not significantly hinder communication.
How to improve:
To elevate the score, focus on refining the use of complex sentence structures and vocabulary even further. Pay attention to the precision of expression to minimize any minor errors or awkward phrasing. Additionally, aim for a more consistent and sophisticated use of language throughout the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
Controversy surrounds the considerable financial investment required when a country decides to host a major international sports event like the Olympic Games or the FIFA World Cup. While some argue vehemently that this expenditure is a waste of money, there are others who hold a contrary opinion. This essay will present both perspectives before concluding that I align with the latter.
One valid argument associates hosting global sports events with financial extravagance. This viewpoint gains strength when considering the temporary nature of such sporting celebrations. Undoubtedly, the host country often spares no expense to ensure the grandeur of these events, leading to significant monetary investments in the overall celebration. Despite the elaborate preparations, hosting sports events with their inherently transitory effects can ultimately result in financial inefficiency. For instance, Bac Giang Province, the Vietnamese host of Sea Games 31st, invested substantial funds in both indoor facilities and outdoor surroundings for the event venue, yet it only generated short-term media impact.
While the aforementioned argument is valid, it is crucial to note that investing in an international sports event is not solely a financial burden; rather, it plays a crucial role in stimulating the local economy. It can be argued that meticulous preparation and professional execution of a sports event can convey to international guests the host country’s professionalism, fostering favorable impressions that may contribute to bilateral diplomacy among nations. Qatar serves as a prominent example of this assertion. When Qatar hosted the World Cup, its dedication to top-notch facilities earned widespread praise from the press, establishing Qatar as a respected model of professionalism and commitment. Thus, if a host nation allocates funds judiciously to an international event, it may enhance its reputation and potentially seize diplomatic opportunities. While the opposing argument cannot be dismissed outright, the perspective supporting the positive impact on diplomatic relations holds more merit.
In conclusion, there are two opposing views on whether hosting an international sports event is a financial waste or a worthwhile investment. I am inclined to concur with the latter viewpoint, emphasizing the positive impact on diplomatic relations that this practice can yield.