People living the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

People living the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries.
To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In today’s world, the quality of living conditions has been claimed to be better than that of the past. While outlining certain numbers of issues that individuals have to encounter recently, this essay agrees that the current quality of life is superior to the one belonging to the past as the advent of technology as well as the absence of wars.
On the one hand, the proponent of the discussed idea assert that modern life is not as standard as the one individual use to have in the previous decades. Such an argument is supported by how bad the quality of air and extreme weather are. These factors are believed to result from human practices. Such practices constitute the development of business, travelling or the excessive exploitation of humans, leading to how terrible the air is. Being warmer and hotter, the air contributes to the global warming, resulting in the extreme weather. Such results constitute the explanation for those believing the life of the modern day is inferior to the life of the past. However, technology and the end of war have invalidated such an idea.
With regards to technological equipment, individuals are enjoying the fruit of how advanced technology is. Cancers, as well as illness, which was used to be problematic in the past, now have been successfully dealt with advance of medical technology. Such a perspective clarify how better the quality of current life is. Moreover, a more favorable quality of life is also exemplified by the absence of war. This means that people are deriving happiness from peace, which has resulted from the absence of war. Such happiness indicates the current life is much better than the life of the past, in which individuals must be dealt with a fatal blow every day.
In conclusion, although certain numbers of issues relating environment have impinged the quality of life, I still believe that the absence of war bring peace as well as how advanced technology are making the current life better than the life of the past

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Errors and Improvements:

"has been claimed to be better than that of the past" -> "is purportedly superior to that of the past"
Explanation: Replacing "has been claimed to be better than that of the past" with "is purportedly superior to that of the past" maintains a formal tone and clarity, avoiding passive voice.
"individuals have to encounter recently" -> "individuals encounter nowadays"
Explanation: "Individuals have to encounter recently" is awkward; "individuals encounter nowadays" is more direct and appropriate for formal writing.
"modern life is not as standard as the one individual use to have" -> "modern life is not as conventional as it used to be"
Explanation: "Standard" is not the most suitable term here; "conventional" is more appropriate. "Individual use to have" should be corrected to "it used to be" for grammatical correctness.
"Such an argument is supported by how bad the quality of air and extreme weather are" -> "This argument is supported by poor air quality and severe weather"
Explanation: Simplifying "how bad the quality of air and extreme weather are" to "poor air quality and severe weather" maintains clarity and formality.
"Such practices constitute the development of business, travelling or the excessive exploitation of humans" -> "Such practices include business development, travel, and human exploitation"
Explanation: "Constitute" is not used correctly here; "include" is more appropriate. "Travelling" should be "travel" in formal writing.
"Being warmer and hotter, the air contributes to the global warming, resulting in the extreme weather" -> "Warmer temperatures contribute to global warming, leading to extreme weather"
Explanation: The phrase "Being warmer and hotter" is awkward and can be simplified to "Warmer temperatures." "Contributes to the global warming" should be "contribute to global warming" for grammatical accuracy.
"Such results constitute the explanation for those believing the life of the modern day is inferior to the life of the past" -> "These factors explain why some believe modern life is inferior to life in the past"
Explanation: "Constitute the explanation" is awkward and unclear; "these factors explain" is clearer and more direct.
"the end of war have invalidated such an idea" -> "peace and technological advancements have invalidated such an idea"
Explanation: "The end of war" should be clarified to "peace," which is more precise and formal. "Technological advancements" is more appropriate than "technology."
"With regards to technological equipment" -> "Regarding technological advancements"
Explanation: "Technological equipment" is too specific and informal; "technological advancements" is more suitable for academic writing.
"Cancers, as well as illness, which was used to be problematic in the past, now have been successfully dealt with advance of medical technology" -> "Cancer and other illnesses that were once problematic in the past are now effectively managed due to advancements in medical technology"
Explanation: The original sentence is awkward and lacks clarity. "Successfully dealt with advance of medical technology" should be "effectively managed due to advancements in medical technology."
"a more favorable quality of life is also exemplified by the absence of war" -> "a better quality of life is also demonstrated by the absence of war"
Explanation: "Exemplified" is not the best choice here; "demonstrated" is more appropriate for formal writing.
"This means that people are deriving happiness from peace, which has resulted from the absence of war" -> "Thus, people derive happiness from peace, which results from the absence of war"
Explanation: "This means that" is too informal; "Thus" is a more suitable transition. "Has resulted from" should be "results from" for better clarity and correctness.
"Although certain numbers of issues relating environment have impinged the quality of life" -> "Although several environmental issues have impacted the quality of life"
Explanation: "Certain numbers of issues relating environment have impinged" is awkward and unclear. "Several environmental issues have impacted" is more precise and formal.
"I still believe that the absence of war bring peace" -> "I still believe that the absence of war brings peace"
Explanation: "Bring" should be "brings" to agree with the singular subject "absence of war."
"as well as how advanced technology are making the current life better" -> "and the advancements in technology are enhancing current life"
Explanation: "How advanced technology are making" should be "the advancements in technology are enhancing," which is more grammatically correct and clearer.

These improvements enhance the clarity, formality, and academic appropriateness of the essay’s language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address all parts of the question by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether people living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than in previous centuries. It acknowledges challenges such as environmental issues while asserting that modern life is superior due to technological advancements and the absence of war.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure a more balanced discussion of the drawbacks and benefits of modern life compared to the past. Additionally, provide clearer examples and evidence to support the arguments made.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent stance in favor of the assertion that the quality of life in the 21st century is better than in previous centuries. It argues this position by highlighting advancements in technology and the absence of war as factors contributing to an improved quality of life.
- How to improve: Strengthen the clarity of the position by directly addressing potential counterarguments and providing stronger evidence to support the claim.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth in the development and support of these ideas. While it mentions technological advancements and the absence of war, it could benefit from more elaboration and specific examples to strengthen the arguments.
- How to improve: Extend ideas by providing more detailed examples, statistics, or anecdotes to enhance the reader’s understanding and support the arguments effectively.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing whether the quality of life in the 21st century is better than in previous centuries. However, it briefly deviates to address environmental issues without fully connecting them to the main argument.
- How to improve: Maintain focus on the main topic throughout the essay and ensure that any additional points or examples provided are directly related to the central argument. Avoid tangents that distract from the main discussion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and presents a coherent argument in favor of the assertion that modern life offers a better quality of life compared to the past. To improve, it should provide more balanced discussions, strengthen the depth of ideas presented, and maintain focus on the main topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a logical organization of information. It starts with an introduction that presents the topic and the writer’s stance, followed by body paragraphs that discuss both sides of the argument, and concludes with a restatement of the writer’s opinion. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, addressing issues such as environmental concerns, technological advancements, and the absence of war.
- How to improve: While the overall organization is clear, there are areas where the logical flow could be strengthened. For instance, the transition between discussing environmental issues and technological advancements could be smoother. To enhance coherence, consider using transitional phrases or sentences to link ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea would improve the overall structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to structure the content. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, such as environmental challenges or technological advancements, and develops its ideas coherently.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its main idea. Consider revising some paragraphs to enhance topic sentence clarity and coherence. Additionally, strive for consistency in paragraph length to maintain a balanced structure throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Examples include pronouns (e.g., "Such practices"), conjunctions (e.g., "Moreover"), and transitional phrases (e.g., "In conclusion"). These devices help to guide the reader through the argument and create a cohesive flow of information.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates an awareness of cohesive devices, there is room for improvement in their usage. Try to incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices, such as synonyms, parallel structures, and transitional adverbs, to add depth and sophistication to the essay’s cohesion. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure they effectively connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary by employing a variety of terms to discuss the topic. For instance, words like "advent," "constitute," "proponent," "invalidate," "exemplified," and "impinged" showcase lexical diversity. Additionally, the essay incorporates domain-specific vocabulary such as "global warming," "medical technology," and "fatal blow," enhancing the depth of expression.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider integrating more precise and contextually fitting vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "quality of life," explore synonyms like "standard of living," "well-being," or "living conditions" to add nuance and sophistication to your arguments. Furthermore, incorporating idiomatic expressions or phrasal verbs could elevate the lexical richness of your essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally employs vocabulary effectively, there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "how bad the quality of air and extreme weather are" could be refined for clarity and precision. Additionally, the sentence "Cancers, as well as illness, which was used to be problematic in the past, now have been successfully dealt with advance of medical technology" lacks precision and conciseness.
- How to improve: Focus on selecting words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Instead of using vague terms like "bad," specify the exact nature of the issues related to air quality and extreme weather. Similarly, refine sentences for clarity and accuracy, avoiding redundant phrases. For instance, consider revising the sentence on medical technology to something like "Advancements in medical technology have effectively addressed previously problematic diseases, including cancer."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally satisfactory, with few errors observed. However, there are some instances of misspellings and typographical errors that slightly detract from overall clarity and professionalism. For example, "individual use" should be "individuals used," "travelling" should be "traveling," and "clarify" should be "clarifies."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools or proofreading your essay thoroughly before submission. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling patterns and pay attention to detail when typing or handwriting your responses. Developing a habit of reviewing your work for spelling errors can significantly enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. It utilizes simple, compound, and complex sentences, though with some repetition. For instance, there is a recurring pattern of introductory clauses followed by main clauses ("While outlining…," "On the one hand…," "With regards to…"). However, the essay lacks variety in sentence structures such as inversion, conditional sentences, or parallelism.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, try incorporating more complex sentence constructions. For example, use inversion for emphasis or variety ("Rarely acknowledged is the fact that…"). Introduce conditional sentences to present hypothetical scenarios or consequences ("If individuals were to prioritize sustainability, then…"). Additionally, strive for parallelism to improve the flow and coherence of your ideas ("Not only has technology improved healthcare, but it has also revolutionized communication").
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy with few errors. However, there are notable instances of grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing that detract from clarity and coherence. For instance, "such a perspective clarify" should be "such a perspective clarifies," and "constitute the development of business, travelling or the excessive exploitation of humans" could be clearer as "result from activities such as business development, travel, or excessive exploitation of resources."
- How to improve: Review your essay carefully for grammatical errors, paying close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage. Additionally, strive for clarity in your phrasing by avoiding overly complex sentence structures that may lead to confusion. Utilize punctuation effectively to enhance readability and to clarify the relationships between ideas. Proofreading and editing your work thoroughly before submission can help identify and correct these issues.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary era, it is purportedly superior to that of the past, individuals encounter nowadays. Despite facing certain challenges, modern life is not as conventional as it used to be. This argument is supported by poor air quality and severe weather. Such practices include business development, travel, and human exploitation, which contribute to warmer temperatures and global warming, leading to extreme weather. These factors explain why some believe modern life is inferior to life in the past. However, peace and technological advancements have invalidated such an idea.

Regarding technological advancements, cancer and other illnesses that were once problematic in the past are now effectively managed due to advancements in medical technology. This contributes to a better quality of life. Thus, people derive happiness from peace, which results from the absence of war.

Although several environmental issues have impacted the quality of life, I still believe that the absence of war brings peace and the advancements in technology are enhancing current life.