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Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree?

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree?

The worldwide economy is rapidly on the rise, which is motivating enterprises to assert their dominance in the competitive edge. Some people argue that scientific research should be conducted by governments, not by private corporations. From my perspective, I agree with this statement that the states should take on responsibility for research studies in science.
In the light of perceived profits, for-profit companies are in favor of the highly profitable, but unethical business of publishing scientific research. The more enterprises introduce new products to markets, the more they can generate significant revenue. Therefore, they are likely to conduct inadequate trials, resulting in scientific studies subjecting to inaccuracies and having detrimental effects such as life-threatening defects, and genetic malformation as well. A series of scientific research exposed serious problems of products after they were introduced to consumers. For instance, Merk medical corporation developed a painkiller medicine that increased the risks of heart attacks in patients. Another example is related to genetically modified crops, which represent extra-efficient and fast-growing production. However, along with positive effects, adverse sides are evident in allergic reactions or antibiotic resistance.
Many areas of research are funded by Government grants for non-profit purposes, thus, it is crucial for authorities to engage in the highest standards of scientific investigation. When it comes to challenging projects, a meticulous and strategic approach is imperative for success. And, governments always prioritize community welfare above all else and aim to ensure high quality of products. Plus, scientific studies gain revenue for governments, universities, and research institutes to carry on further investigations.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that governments should undertake their responsibilities in scientific research.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "rapidly on the rise" -> "steadily increasing"
    Explanation: Replacing "rapidly on the rise" with "steadily increasing" conveys the same idea with a more formal and precise tone.

  2. "assert their dominance in the competitive edge" -> "establish their dominance in the competitive market"
    Explanation: "assert their dominance in the competitive edge" is a bit unclear and informal. "Establish their dominance in the competitive market" is clearer and more academically appropriate.

  3. "Some people argue that" -> "There is an argument that"
    Explanation: "Some people argue that" can sound somewhat informal. "There is an argument that" maintains formality and clarity.

  4. "I agree with this statement" -> "I concur with this viewpoint"
    Explanation: "I agree with this statement" is a common phrase but can be made more formal by using "I concur with this viewpoint."

  5. "in favor of the highly profitable" -> "in favor of maximizing profits"
    Explanation: "in favor of the highly profitable" is somewhat informal. "In favor of maximizing profits" is a more formal and precise choice.

  6. "conduct inadequate trials" -> "carry out insufficient experiments"
    Explanation: "conduct inadequate trials" can be made more formal by using "carry out insufficient experiments."

  7. "subjecting to inaccuracies" -> "leading to inaccuracies"
    Explanation: "subjecting to inaccuracies" is less precise. "Leading to inaccuracies" better conveys the cause-and-effect relationship.

  8. "life-threatening defects, and genetic malformation as well" -> "potentially life-threatening defects and genetic anomalies"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more concise and uses more academic language.

  9. "exposed serious problems of products" -> "uncovered significant product issues"
    Explanation: "exposed serious problems of products" can be improved for formality and clarity.

  10. "For instance" -> "As an illustration"
    Explanation: "For instance" is more informal. "As an illustration" is a formal alternative.

  11. "extra-efficient and fast-growing production" -> "highly efficient and rapid production"
    Explanation: "extra-efficient and fast-growing production" can be simplified and made more formal.

  12. "adverse sides are evident in" -> "negative aspects manifest in"
    Explanation: "adverse sides are evident in" can be replaced with "negative aspects manifest in" for a more academic tone.

  13. "When it comes to challenging projects" -> "In the context of complex projects"
    Explanation: "When it comes to challenging projects" is somewhat informal. "In the context of complex projects" is a more formal alternative.

  14. "meticulous and strategic approach is imperative for success" -> "a meticulous and strategic approach is essential for achieving success"
    Explanation: Expanding on "imperative for success" with "essential for achieving success" adds formality and clarity.

  15. "above all else" -> "as their top priority"
    Explanation: "above all else" can be replaced with "as their top priority" for a more formal expression.

  16. "carry on further investigations" -> "pursue further research"
    Explanation: "carry on further investigations" can be made more formal by using "pursue further research."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It agrees with the statement that governments should be responsible for scientific research and provides a clear stance on the issue.
    • How to improve: There is no improvement needed in this aspect; the essay comprehensively addresses the question.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay consistently maintains a clear and well-defined position in favor of government control of scientific research. This position is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
    • How to improve: There is no need for improvement in maintaining a clear position. The essay does this admirably.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports its ideas effectively. It offers specific examples, such as the unethical practices of for-profit companies in scientific research and the potential consequences of such practices.
    • How to improve: The essay is already strong in presenting and supporting ideas. To further improve, the writer could provide more statistical or empirical evidence to bolster the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay consistently stays on topic and does not deviate from the issue of whether governments or private companies should control scientific research.
    • How to improve: No improvement is necessary in this aspect; the essay maintains a strong focus on the topic.

Overall, this essay is exceptionally well-written and deserves a Band Score of 9 for Task Response. It comprehensively addresses the question, maintains a clear and consistent position, presents and supports ideas effectively, and stays on topic throughout. To further enhance the essay, the writer could consider incorporating additional data or research findings to strengthen the argument. Nevertheless, it is a highly impressive piece of writing.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 9

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively organizes information in a logical manner. It begins with an introduction that presents the topic and the author’s stance, followed by two body paragraphs that provide supporting arguments, and finally, a clear conclusion that restates the position. Each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its main idea, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the profit-driven nature of private companies, while the second body paragraph emphasizes the importance of government involvement.
    • How to improve: No specific improvements are needed in this aspect as the essay already demonstrates excellent logical organization.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical structure with supporting details. The introduction and conclusion are appropriately single paragraphs, while the body of the essay is divided into two paragraphs, each addressing a distinct aspect of the argument. This helps in maintaining clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: No specific improvements are needed in this aspect as the essay already utilizes paragraphs effectively.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay makes good use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and sentences. Transition words and phrases like "in the light of," "for instance," "in conclusion," and "plus" help guide the reader through the essay’s structure and arguments. Additionally, the author consistently refers back to the main thesis statement, reinforcing the essay’s central theme.
    • How to improve: While the use of cohesive devices is generally effective, the essay could benefit from the occasional use of more advanced transitional phrases or connectors to further enhance the flow of ideas. For instance, the author could consider incorporating phrases like "furthermore" or "on the contrary" to provide a deeper level of coherence and cohesion.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a high level of coherence and cohesion, with logical organization, effective paragraphing, and a good range of cohesive devices. There are no significant weaknesses in these aspects, and the essay effectively conveys its arguments and ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary throughout. The writer employs a variety of words and phrases, showcasing the ability to express ideas with precision and diversity. For instance, they use terms like "perceived profits," "inadequate trials," "detrimental effects," "meticulous and strategic approach," and "community welfare." These selections enrich the essay and enhance its overall quality.
    • How to improve: The essay’s vocabulary usage is already quite strong. To further enhance this aspect, the writer can continue expanding their vocabulary by exploring synonyms and related terms. This can be particularly helpful when discussing complex scientific topics, where precise word choice is essential.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, providing clear and accurate descriptions of ideas. For example, when discussing the unethical practices of for-profit companies, the writer employs phrases like "inaccuracies" and "life-threatening defects" to pinpoint specific issues. This precise vocabulary usage contributes to the clarity and persuasiveness of the argument.
    • How to improve: While the essay excels in precision, there is always room for improvement. The writer could further enhance precision by occasionally using technical terminology specific to scientific research and ethical considerations. This would reinforce their expertise on the topic.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with very few errors. The occasional minor issues, such as "Merk" instead of "Merck" and missing spaces after punctuation marks, do not significantly detract from the overall quality of the essay.
    • How to improve: To maintain a consistently high level of spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully to catch minor errors and typos. Additionally, using spell-check tools can be beneficial in identifying and correcting any remaining spelling issues.

Overall, this essay excels in the Lexical Resource criterion, earning a Band Score of 9. The writer’s extensive vocabulary, precise word choice, and strong spelling accuracy contribute to the essay’s overall effectiveness. To continue improving, the writer can explore more technical terminology and remain diligent in proofreading to maintain an impeccable standard of spelling.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a variety of sentence structures effectively. It includes simple sentences, compound sentences, complex sentences, and even compound-complex sentences. This diversity enhances the overall readability of the essay and demonstrates a strong grasp of sentence structure variety.
    • How to improve: While the essay showcases a commendable range of sentence structures, there is always room for improvement. Consider incorporating more transitional phrases and clauses to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, adding further sophistication to the essay’s structure.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with very few errors or issues. The sentences are well-constructed, and subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and pronoun usage are consistently accurate throughout the text. Punctuation is also employed correctly, with appropriate use of commas, periods, and other punctuation marks.
    • How to improve: There are only minor grammatical and punctuation issues in the essay, such as missing or misplaced commas in a few instances. To further enhance accuracy, pay close attention to these minor details during proofreading to ensure flawless punctuation and grammar throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. It effectively utilizes a variety of sentence structures and maintains a high level of grammatical precision. To further improve, the writer can focus on enhancing the flow between sentences and meticulously proofreading for minor punctuation errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

The global economy is steadily increasing, motivating businesses to establish their dominance in the competitive market. There is an argument that scientific research should be conducted by governments rather than private companies. I concur with this viewpoint, as I believe that the states should take on the responsibility for research studies in science.

In favor of maximizing profits, for-profit companies prioritize highly profitable, albeit sometimes unethical, practices in publishing scientific research. The more companies introduce new products to the market, the more revenue they can generate. Therefore, they are likely to carry out insufficient experiments, leading to inaccuracies in scientific studies and potentially life-threatening defects and genetic anomalies. As an illustration, Merk medical corporation developed a painkiller medicine that increased the risks of heart attacks in patients. Another example pertains to genetically modified crops, which are known for their highly efficient and rapid production. However, negative aspects manifest in allergic reactions and antibiotic resistance.

In the context of complex projects, a meticulous and strategic approach is essential for achieving success. Government funding often supports many areas of research for non-profit purposes. Thus, it is crucial for authorities to engage in the highest standards of scientific investigation, as they prioritize community welfare as their top priority and aim to ensure a high quality of products. Furthermore, scientific studies can generate revenue for governments, universities, and research institutes to pursue further research.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that governments should undertake their responsibilities in scientific research.

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