Some people believe that some internet websites should be restricted to prevent people from accessing sex or violent sites. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Some individuals thought that certain websites on the Internet had to be blocked to stop people from visiting sex or brutal content. I totally agree with this point.
Limiting access to the internet is to protect children from harmful or age-inappropriate content. Such measures aim to create a safer online environment for children by minimizing their exposure to content that could have negative effects on their well-being or development. For example, parents can set up filters to block explicit material, violence, or other content deemed inappropriate for children. By placing restrictions on certain websites or types of content, parents can help mitigate the risks associated with unrestricted internet access, including exposure to explicit material, online predators, and cyberbullying.
Restricting access to certain internet content is often seen as a means to maintain public morality and social norms. Sex and brutal websites affect people negatively and incite violence. For example, websites containing pornography or graphic sexual content may be subject to age verification requirements. Besides creating even more criminal illegal activities
In summary, opinions regarding limiting access to particular websites continue to divide. For this reason, I completely agree that internet filtering offers numerous advantages.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Some individuals thought that certain websites on the Internet had to be blocked" -> "Some individuals believed that specific websites on the Internet should be blocked"
Explanation: Replacing "thought that" with "believed that" and "had to be blocked" with "should be blocked" enhances formality and clarity, aligning with academic style.
"I totally agree with this point" -> "I wholeheartedly agree with this viewpoint"
Explanation: "Totally" is overly informal; "wholeheartedly" is a more sophisticated alternative. "Viewpoint" is preferred over "point" in academic writing.
"Limiting access to the internet is to protect children" -> "Limiting internet access aims to protect children"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for conciseness and clarity without losing the intended meaning.
"harmful or age-inappropriate content" -> "harmful or developmentally inappropriate content"
Explanation: "Age-inappropriate" is replaced with "developmentally inappropriate" to sound more precise and academic.
"Such measures aim to create a safer online environment for children" -> "These measures aim to foster a safer online environment for children"
Explanation: Enhancing clarity and formality by replacing "create" with "foster" and adjusting the phrasing slightly.
"explicit material, violence, or other content deemed inappropriate for children" -> "explicit material, violence, or other content considered unsuitable for children"
Explanation: "Deemed inappropriate" is replaced with "considered unsuitable," which is more formal and clear.
"placing restrictions on certain websites or types of content" -> "implementing restrictions on specific websites or types of content"
Explanation: "Placing restrictions" is substituted with "implementing restrictions," which is more precise and formal.
"restricting access to certain internet content is often seen as a means to maintain public morality" -> "limiting access to certain internet content is often viewed as a method to uphold public morality"
Explanation: Adjusting phrasing to enhance formality and academic tone.
"Sex and brutal websites affect people negatively and incite violence" -> "Websites featuring sexual or violent content have adverse effects and may incite violence"
Explanation: Clarifying and restructuring for academic clarity and precision.
"websites containing pornography or graphic sexual content may be subject to age verification requirements" -> "websites hosting pornography or explicit sexual content may require age verification"
Explanation: Simplifying and refining the phrasing for clarity and conciseness.
"Besides creating even more criminal illegal activities" -> "Furthermore, this can lead to an increase in criminal behavior"
Explanation: Clarifying the meaning and restructuring for academic style.
"opinions regarding limiting access to particular websites continue to divide" -> "views on restricting access to specific websites remain divisive"
Explanation: Enhancing the precision and formality of expression.
"For this reason, I completely agree that internet filtering offers numerous advantages" -> "Therefore, I strongly support the notion that internet filtering provides multiple benefits"
Explanation: Replacing "completely agree" with "strongly support" for a more formal tone, and rephrasing for clarity and emphasis.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by expressing full agreement with the idea of restricting certain internet websites, particularly those containing sexual or violent content. It discusses the rationale behind such restrictions, emphasizing child safety and the maintenance of public morality.
- How to improve: While the essay does agree with the notion of restricting certain websites, it could benefit from further elaboration on the potential drawbacks or counterarguments to this perspective. Additionally, a more thorough exploration of how restricting websites relates to societal values and individual freedoms could enhance the depth of analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, consistently advocating for the restriction of internet content deemed harmful or inappropriate, particularly for children.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, the essay could explicitly state its position at the beginning and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, providing stronger transitions between paragraphs can enhance coherence and reinforce the essay’s overarching argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to the need for internet restrictions and briefly supports them with examples and reasoning. However, some ideas are underdeveloped, such as the discussion on public morality and social norms.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should offer more detailed explanations and examples to support each point. For instance, expanding on the potential societal consequences of unrestricted internet access or citing relevant research can bolster the argument’s credibility and persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the necessity of restricting certain internet content, particularly sex and violent websites. However, there are instances where the argument could be more focused, such as the brief mention of "criminal illegal activities" without further elaboration.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the central argument and avoids tangential discussions. Providing more specific examples and evidence related to the topic can help reinforce the essay’s coherence and relevance.

Overall, while the essay effectively conveys agreement with the need for internet restrictions, there are areas for improvement in terms of depth of analysis, clarity of argumentation, development of ideas, and coherence. By addressing these aspects, the essay can further enhance its overall effectiveness and achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction sets up the argument effectively by stating the author’s agreement with the idea of restricting certain internet content. The body paragraphs elaborate on two main reasons supporting this stance: protecting children and maintaining public morality. However, the transition between the two reasons could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using transitional phrases or sentences to connect the two main reasons more seamlessly. For instance, phrases like "Moreover" or "Furthermore" could help signal the shift from discussing child protection to public morality.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to provide more detailed explanations or examples. For instance, the paragraph discussing the protection of children could benefit from specific examples illustrating the potential harm of unrestricted internet access.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details or examples. Additionally, consider expanding on ideas within each paragraph to provide a more comprehensive argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices such as pronouns ("such measures," "restricting access"), conjunctions ("For example"), and transitional phrases ("In summary"). However, there is limited variety in cohesive devices, and some transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance coherence, diversify the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. This could include using synonyms for commonly used conjunctions (e.g., "Moreover" instead of "For example") and employing cohesive devices more consistently throughout the essay to establish clearer connections between ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for improvement in enhancing logical organization, strengthening paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. By implementing these suggestions, the essay could achieve a higher band score for Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with varied word choices such as "restricted," "minimizing," "inappropriate," "mitigate," "incite," and "advantages." However, the vocabulary lacks depth and sophistication in some instances, leading to occasional repetition ("restricting access," "websites," "content") and limited exploration of synonyms or nuanced terms.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more diverse vocabulary that adds depth and precision to the arguments presented. Synonyms and alternative phrases could be utilized to avoid repetition and elevate the sophistication of language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "restricting access," explore terms like "imposing limitations," "curtailing accessibility," or "implementing controls."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with moderate precision, effectively conveying the intended meaning. For example, terms like "restricting access," "explicit material," and "cyberbullying" are used appropriately. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise to enhance clarity and specificity. For instance, the phrase "affect people negatively" could be strengthened with more specific language to elucidate the precise impact of sex and brutal websites on individuals.
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, strive for greater specificity and clarity in expressing ideas. Instead of using broad terms like "affect people negatively," consider specifying the exact repercussions or consequences, such as "undermining societal values," "desensitizing individuals to violence," or "exacerbating psychological distress." This will enhance the reader’s understanding and strengthen the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling throughout, with no major spelling errors detected. However, there are a few instances of minor errors, such as "criminal illegal activities," which could be refined for improved accuracy and clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain consistent spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay thoroughly to identify and rectify any minor spelling errors. Additionally, utilizing spell-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can help enhance spelling precision and minimize errors. Developing a habit of revising written work attentively will contribute to overall spelling proficiency and enhance the professionalism of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, there is a mix of simple declarative sentences ("Some individuals thought that certain websites on the Internet had to be blocked to stop people from visiting sex or brutal content."), compound sentences ("Such measures aim to create a safer online environment for children by minimizing their exposure to content that could have negative effects on their well-being or development."), and complex sentences with subordinate clauses ("By placing restrictions on certain websites or types of content, parents can help mitigate the risks associated with unrestricted internet access, including exposure to explicit material, online predators, and cyberbullying."). However, there is room for improvement in the variety and complexity of structures to enhance the overall fluency and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and complexity, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures such as conditional sentences, parallel structures, and varied clause types (relative clauses, adverbial clauses, etc.). Additionally, strive for more sophisticated sentence constructions by using advanced punctuation techniques like dashes, colons, and semicolons where appropriate.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical accuracy with only minor errors present. For instance, the sentence "Some individuals thought that certain websites on the Internet had to be blocked to stop people from visiting sex or brutal content." is grammatically correct. However, there are a few instances where minor grammatical errors occur, such as in the phrase "For example, websites containing pornography or graphic sexual content may be subject to age verification requirements. Besides creating even more criminal illegal activities." Here, the phrase "Besides creating even more criminal illegal activities." is redundant and structurally awkward, impacting the coherence of the sentence. Additionally, there is a missing article in the phrase "creating even more criminal illegal activities," where it should be "creating even more criminal activities." Punctuation usage is generally accurate, but there are occasional errors, such as the missing comma after "For example" in the same sentence.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review sentence structures to ensure conciseness and coherence. Proofreading for clarity and correctness is crucial to catch any minor errors or awkward phrasings. Additionally, pay close attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage in introductory phrases and clauses. Finally, strive for precision in language use to avoid redundancy and ensure clarity of expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals believed that specific websites on the Internet should be blocked to prevent people from accessing sex or violent content. I wholeheartedly agree with this viewpoint.

Limiting internet access aims to protect children from harmful or developmentally inappropriate content. These measures aim to foster a safer online environment for children by reducing their exposure to content that could negatively impact their well-being or development. For instance, parents can employ filters to block explicit material, violence, or other content considered unsuitable for children. By implementing restrictions on specific websites or types of content, parents can help mitigate the risks associated with unrestricted internet access, such as exposure to explicit material, online predators, and cyberbullying.

Furthermore, restricting access to certain internet content is often viewed as a method to uphold public morality and social norms. Websites featuring sexual or violent content have adverse effects and may incite violence. For example, websites hosting pornography or explicit sexual content may require age verification to access. Moreover, this can lead to an increase in criminal behavior.

Views on restricting access to specific websites remain divisive. Therefore, I strongly support the notion that internet filtering provides multiple benefits.