Some people believe that space travel is a waste of government money while others believe it is important for human. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that space travel is a waste of government money while others believe it is important for human.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Throughout the past few decades, there has been an ongoing debate over government funding for space travel. Some believe that spending on astronautics is would be a waste of money and resources. However, others have the opinion against the above-mentioned statement, they argue that space journey is crucial for the humanity.

It is undeniable that government expenditure investigate on space exploration might be agree by certain individuals, because of the promising scientific advancements. By using the state budget, not only the government but also the citizens gain benefits. Discoveries made from space researches may create innovations on many fields. such as engineering, medicine and material science. Additionally, space journeys are significantly essential to human survival when the humanity extinction is likely to happen if we run out of non-reusable energy on earth. Using public money to searching for suitable planet for human to immigrate could be possible but incredibly expensive.

Nevertheless, since there are many more major unsolved problems that need fundings, such as healthcare, military, education, and so on, huge amount of government money investigate on space travel is not necessary. Moreover, most developing countries do not the ability to orbit the earth, citizens disagree with the government using money on something has such high-cost but few advantages. Furthermore, preventing the pollution is one of the most concerned topic on earth lately, when talk over spaceflights, it is about the amount of carbon dioxide each spaceship releases and the amount of fossil fuels each spaceship consumes, which could be extremely harmful to the environment.

In conclusion, apart from few advantages such as scientific innovations and immigration chances, spending government expenditures on astronautics is not widely approved because of the shortage of funds and other more urgent social issues.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Throughout the past few decades" -> "Over the past few decades"
Explanation: "Over" is a more commonly used preposition in academic writing to indicate a period of time, making the phrase more natural and formal.
"spending on astronautics is would be a waste" -> "funding astronautics is considered a waste"
Explanation: "Funding" is more precise than "spending on" in this context, and "is considered" corrects the grammatical error in the original phrase.
"have the opinion against the above-mentioned statement" -> "oppose the aforementioned view"
Explanation: "Oppose" is more direct and academically appropriate than "have the opinion against," and "aforementioned" is the correct form for referring back to a previously mentioned statement.
"government expenditure investigate on space exploration" -> "government expenditure on space exploration"
Explanation: "Investigate" is incorrectly used here; "on" is the correct preposition for indicating the object of the expenditure.
"might be agree by certain individuals" -> "may be agreed upon by certain individuals"
Explanation: "May be agreed upon" is grammatically correct and more formal, replacing the awkward and incorrect "might be agree by."
"Discoveries made from space researches" -> "Discoveries resulting from space research"
Explanation: "Researches" is not the correct plural form; "research" is the singular form, and "resulting from" is more precise than "made from."
"such as engineering, medicine and material science" -> "such as engineering, medicine, and materials science"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "medicine" corrects the list format, and "materials science" is the correct term.
"space journeys are significantly essential to human survival" -> "space travel is crucial to human survival"
Explanation: "Travel" is more specific and correct than "journeys," and "crucial" is more precise than "significantly essential."
"when the humanity extinction is likely to happen" -> "when human extinction is likely"
Explanation: "Humanity extinction" is grammatically incorrect; "human extinction" is the correct term, and removing "is likely to happen" simplifies the phrase without losing meaning.
"Using public money to searching for suitable planet" -> "Using public funds to search for a suitable planet"
Explanation: "Funds" is more formal than "money," and "search for a suitable planet" corrects the grammatical error in the original phrase.
"huge amount of government money investigate on space travel" -> "substantial government funds allocated to space travel"
Explanation: "Substantial" is more precise than "huge," and "allocated" is the correct verb for describing the distribution of funds.
"do not the ability to orbit the earth" -> "lack the capability to orbit the Earth"
Explanation: "Lack the capability" is grammatically correct and more formal than "do not the ability," and "Earth" should be capitalized as it refers to the planet.
"citizens disagree with the government using money on something has such high-cost" -> "citizens disagree with the government spending money on something with such high costs"
Explanation: "Spending money on something with such high costs" corrects the grammatical structure and removes the awkward phrasing.
"when talk over spaceflights" -> "when discussing spaceflights"
Explanation: "Discussing" is the correct verb for formal academic writing, replacing the informal "talk over."
"could be extremely harmful to the environment" -> "could be extremely detrimental to the environment"
Explanation: "Detrimental" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "harmful" in this context.
"apart from few advantages" -> "beyond a few advantages"
Explanation: "Beyond" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "apart from," and "a few" is grammatically correct.

These changes enhance the formal tone, improve grammatical accuracy, and clarify the meaning of the essay, making it more suitable for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding government spending on space travel, outlining arguments for and against it. The first paragraph introduces the debate, while the second paragraph supports the importance of space travel for scientific advancements and human survival. The third paragraph counters this by discussing pressing issues like healthcare and pollution, which are more immediate concerns. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both perspectives, as the arguments against space travel are more developed than those in favor.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both sides are given equal weight. This could involve providing more detailed examples or evidence supporting the benefits of space travel, such as specific advancements or historical achievements that have resulted from space exploration. Additionally, a clearer distinction between the two views in separate paragraphs could help in organizing the content more effectively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position against government spending on space travel, particularly in the conclusion. However, the position could be more consistently articulated throughout the essay. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of space travel to the drawbacks is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse the reader regarding the writer’s overall stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument can help clarify the writer’s stance. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can signal shifts in perspective while maintaining the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits and drawbacks of space travel. However, some points lack sufficient elaboration and supporting evidence. For instance, the mention of scientific advancements is vague, and the argument about the environmental impact of space travel could be more thoroughly explored with specific data or examples.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. This could involve citing specific technological advancements that have arisen from space exploration or discussing particular social issues that require funding. Additionally, using statistics or expert opinions could strengthen the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the debate surrounding space travel funding. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly when discussing pollution and the capabilities of developing countries. While these points are relevant, they could be more tightly connected to the central argument about government spending on space travel.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point directly relates back to the main topic of government funding for space travel. This could involve explicitly linking the discussion of pollution to the costs associated with space missions or clarifying how the capabilities of developing countries impact the overall debate on space funding. Keeping a clear thread throughout the essay will help reinforce the main argument and improve coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the debate on government funding for space travel. The arguments for and against are presented in separate paragraphs, which helps in maintaining a logical flow. However, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the second paragraph introduces the benefits of space exploration but could better connect the ideas of scientific advancements and human survival to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that each sentence within a paragraph logically follows the previous one. Using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" can help in guiding the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different points of view. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, which is a strength. However, the concluding paragraph could be more robust in summarizing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs. The current conclusion feels somewhat abrupt and does not fully encapsulate the discussion.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by briefly restating the main arguments presented in the essay. This can be done by summarizing the key points made in both the supporting and opposing views before giving a final opinion. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences relate directly to that idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "in conclusion," which help in linking ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. For example, the phrase "the above-mentioned statement" is somewhat awkward and could be replaced with a more direct reference to the opposing view.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "on the other hand" to introduce contrasting ideas, or "for instance" to provide examples. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance cohesion. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "space travel," you could use "it" or "this endeavor" in subsequent references.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing the logical flow, paragraph structure, and variety of cohesive devices will elevate the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "astronautics," "expenditure," "innovations," and "immigration." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat limited in variety and depth, which affects the overall impression of lexical resource. For instance, phrases like "government expenditure investigate on space exploration" and "huge amount of government money investigate on space travel" show a repetitive use of certain terms without sufficient variation.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "government money," alternatives like "public funds," "taxpayer resources," or "state budget" could be utilized. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to space exploration and its implications could enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the arguments. For example, the phrase "spending on astronautics is would be a waste" contains a grammatical error and lacks clarity. The term "immigrate" is also misused; it should be "emigrate" when referring to leaving Earth for another planet. Furthermore, "the humanity" should simply be "humanity."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should carefully proofread their work to catch grammatical errors and ensure the correct use of terms. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find more suitable words that convey the intended meaning accurately. For instance, replacing "immigrate" with "emigrate" would clarify the intended message.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "fundings" (which should be "funding"), "investigate" (which should be "invested"), and "non-reusable" (which is more commonly referred to as "non-renewable"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that provide feedback on common mistakes. Additionally, reading more academic texts can help familiarize the writer with correct spellings and usage. A thorough proofreading process, possibly reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools, can also catch errors before submission.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents arguments on both sides, there is significant room for improvement in the areas of vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. Focusing on these aspects will help elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "not only… but also" and "when talk over spaceflights" indicates an attempt to employ more sophisticated structures. However, the overall range is somewhat limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. For instance, the phrase "the opinion against the above-mentioned statement" is convoluted and could be expressed more clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using more complex clauses and varying sentence beginnings. Incorporating more transitional phrases and conjunctions can help connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, reading a variety of academic texts can provide examples of effective sentence structures that can be emulated.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "spending on astronautics is would be a waste" is grammatically incorrect; it should be either "is a waste" or "would be a waste." Additionally, the phrase "the opinion against the above-mentioned statement, they argue" is a run-on sentence that lacks proper punctuation. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, such as in "government expenditure investigate on space exploration," which should be "government expenditure invested in space exploration."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and sentence structure can help catch mistakes before submission. Utilizing grammar-checking tools may also assist in identifying and correcting errors.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant discussion on the topic, addressing the noted weaknesses in grammatical range and accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Throughout the past few decades, there has been an ongoing debate over government funding for space travel. Some believe that spending on astronautics would be a waste of money and resources. However, others oppose the aforementioned view, arguing that space journeys are crucial for humanity.

It is undeniable that government expenditure on space exploration may be agreed upon by certain individuals because of the promising scientific advancements. By using the state budget, not only the government but also the citizens gain benefits. Discoveries resulting from space research may create innovations in many fields, such as engineering, medicine, and materials science. Additionally, space journeys are significantly essential to human survival when human extinction is likely to happen if we run out of non-reusable energy on Earth. Using public funds to search for a suitable planet for humans to immigrate to could be possible but incredibly expensive.

Nevertheless, since there are many more major unsolved problems that need funding, such as healthcare, military, education, and so on, a substantial amount of government money allocated to space travel is not necessary. Moreover, most developing countries lack the capability to orbit the Earth, and citizens disagree with the government spending money on something that has such high costs but few advantages. Furthermore, preventing pollution is one of the most concerning topics on Earth lately. When discussing spaceflights, it is important to consider the amount of carbon dioxide each spaceship releases and the amount of fossil fuels each spaceship consumes, which could be extremely detrimental to the environment.

In conclusion, apart from a few advantages such as scientific innovations and immigration opportunities, government expenditure on astronautics is not widely approved because of the shortage of funds and other more urgent social issues.