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Some people want the government to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people want the government to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views on outer space exploration for life. While many people think that this practice is necessary, I strongly believe that there is no point in finding life out of the earth because of many existing issues needing dealing with. Two opinions would be discussed in my following essay.

On the one hand, the idea of seeking for a planet where life is available is attractive since it brings many advantages for humanity and nature. The most obvious benefit is that there would be a new refugee for global residents to accommodate in case of the Earth being destroyed or vulnerable for living. Apparently, the Earth would not last eternally due to many external factors, such as the explosion of the Sun in the following millions of years according to recent scientific research by Harvard University. Another positive aspect is that discovery of a new livable planet provides an environment for growing endangered species. Many natural parts of the world are under an overexploitation leading to lack of spaces for many species and even the extinction of several animals. Hence, Finding of a new planet will put an end to this phenomenon. Clearly, humans and many endangered species would greatly benefit from that action.

On the other hand, I am convinced that putting too much resources in finding a form of life outside the Earth is meaningless at this time owing to many issues requiring a great deal of effort to completely end, mainly climate change and wars caused by religious and cultural conflicts. Not only financial support is needed to terminate or ease those problems, but also the human resource and the participants of each country’s government. Therefore, spending many resources on other aspects such as space exploration is not a sensible choice as these mentioned problems need a great deal of time and money. Even though these negative phenomena are permanently under control, the recovery of consequences and stable state maintenance process is not straightforward since to perform this action is still as costly as the solving process.

In conclusion, despite the advantages that discovery of new life out of the Earth provides, I believe that resources should be allocated to deal with many global issues in order to improve the world's status quo.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "People have different views on outer space exploration for life." -> "Individuals hold varying perspectives on the exploration of outer space for extraterrestrial life."
    Explanation: Replacing "People have different views" with "Individuals hold varying perspectives" adds formality and precision to the statement.

  2. "I strongly believe that there is no point in finding life out of the earth because of many existing issues needing dealing with." -> "I firmly contend that the pursuit of extraterrestrial life lacks merit given the myriad pressing issues demanding attention on Earth."
    Explanation: Substituting "I strongly believe" with "I firmly contend" enhances the strength of the statement, and replacing "finding life out of the earth" with "the pursuit of extraterrestrial life" improves precision and formality.

  3. "Two opinions would be discussed in my following essay." -> "This essay will explore two contrasting viewpoints."
    Explanation: Changing "Two opinions would be discussed" to "This essay will explore" results in a more direct and formal expression.

  4. "On the one hand, the idea of seeking for a planet where life is available is attractive…" -> "Firstly, the notion of searching for a habitable planet holds allure…"
    Explanation: Replacing "On the one hand" with "Firstly" and "seeking for" with "searching for" adds structure and formality to the sentence.

  5. "The most obvious benefit is that there would be a new refugee for global residents to accommodate…" -> "A prominent advantage lies in providing a new refuge for global inhabitants to relocate…"
    Explanation: Substituting "The most obvious benefit is that" with "A prominent advantage lies in" elevates the formality and clarity of the statement.

  6. "Apparently, the Earth would not last eternally due to many external factors, such as the explosion of the Sun in the following millions of years according to recent scientific research by Harvard University." -> "Evidently, Earth is not destined to endure indefinitely, given various external factors, including the projected explosion of the Sun in the ensuing millions of years, as indicated by recent scientific research from Harvard University."
    Explanation: The replacement enhances clarity, precision, and formality in conveying the scientific information.

  7. "Finding of a new planet will put an end to this phenomenon." -> "The discovery of a new planet would bring an end to this phenomenon."
    Explanation: Substituting "Finding of a new planet" with "The discovery of a new planet" maintains formality and improves grammatical structure.

  8. "On the other hand, I am convinced that putting too much resources in finding a form of life outside the Earth is meaningless at this time owing to many issues requiring a great deal of effort to completely end, mainly climate change and wars caused by religious and cultural conflicts." -> "Conversely, I am convinced that allocating excessive resources to the search for extraterrestrial life is currently futile, given the imperative to address pressing issues, notably climate change and conflicts arising from religious and cultural differences."
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance precision, formality, and clarity in expressing the argument.

  9. "Not only financial support is needed to terminate or ease those problems, but also the human resource and the participants of each country’s government." -> "Addressing these issues requires not only financial support but also the mobilization of human resources and active engagement from governments worldwide."
    Explanation: The replacement ensures a more grammatically correct and formal expression of the idea.

  10. "Even though these negative phenomena are permanently under control, the recovery of consequences and stable state maintenance process is not straightforward since to perform this action is still as costly as the solving process." -> "Despite achieving permanent control over these adverse phenomena, the recovery of consequences and the maintenance of a stable state pose challenges, as the execution of these actions remains as costly as the resolution process."
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance precision and formality, resulting in a more coherent expression of the idea.

  11. "In conclusion, despite the advantages that discovery of new life out of the Earth provides…" -> "In conclusion, notwithstanding the benefits offered by the discovery of new life beyond Earth…"
    Explanation: Substituting "despite" with "notwithstanding" adds formality and sophistication to the concluding statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both perspectives on the issue. It discusses the advantages of outer space exploration and presents a clear opinion against allocating resources to this endeavor.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers both perspectives, providing a bit more depth in the exploration of the opposing view could enhance the overall balance of the discussion.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, explicitly stating the author’s opinion against spending resources on outer space exploration. The position is evident in the introduction and consistently supported in the body paragraphs.
    • How to improve: The clarity of the position is commendable. To further strengthen it, consider reinforcing the thesis in the conclusion for a cohesive and memorable presentation.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively. It provides specific examples such as the potential benefits of discovering a new planet and links them to practical issues like endangered species and Earth’s vulnerability.
    • How to improve: To enhance idea development, consider adding more nuanced examples or exploring the counterargument in greater detail to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the pros and cons of outer space exploration. However, there are moments where the connection to the prompt could be stronger, especially in the first paragraph.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the link between the opening statements and the prompt by explicitly connecting the idea of "different views on outer space exploration for life" to the specific perspectives mentioned in the prompt.

In conclusion, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, presents a clear and consistent position, supports ideas well, and generally stays on topic. To further improve, consider providing more depth in discussing opposing views, reinforcing the thesis in the conclusion, developing ideas with nuanced examples, and ensuring a strong connection to the prompt throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction sets up the discussion, presenting the two views clearly. Each body paragraph addresses a specific viewpoint, and the conclusion summarizes the author’s opinion. However, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, a more explicit transition sentence between the advantages and disadvantages of space exploration would enhance coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider incorporating transition sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph to guide the reader through the shift in focus. Additionally, ensure that the ideas within each paragraph progress logically, reinforcing the overall coherence of the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with clear separation of ideas into distinct sections. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. However, the third paragraph could benefit from breaking into two paragraphs, as it addresses both financial and human resource aspects of global issues.
    • How to improve: Consider dividing the third paragraph into two smaller paragraphs to maintain a clear and focused discussion on each aspect. This will not only enhance the readability but also emphasize each point more effectively.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices, such as pronouns (e.g., "this practice," "these mentioned problems") and conjunctions (e.g., "while," "on the other hand"). However, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of cohesive devices. Additionally, the use of transitional expressions to connect ideas within paragraphs can be more strategic.
    • How to improve: Diversify cohesive devices by incorporating a range of linking words (e.g., furthermore, moreover, nevertheless) and using synonyms to avoid repetition. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of transitional expressions within paragraphs to ensure a smooth and connected flow of ideas. Practice using more advanced cohesive devices for a nuanced and sophisticated presentation of arguments.

Overall, while the essay effectively presents the two views and maintains a generally coherent structure, refining the transitions between paragraphs and enhancing the variety of cohesive devices will contribute to a more polished and seamlessly connected essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use diverse words and phrases, especially in expressing advantages and disadvantages. However, some terms are repeated, such as "new planet" and "life out of the Earth," which could be diversified for a richer vocabulary.

    • How to improve: To enhance your vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and exploring different ways to express ideas. Instead of repeating phrases like "new planet," try alternatives like "alien world" or "extraterrestrial habitat." This would not only make your writing more engaging but also demonstrate a broader lexical repertoire.

  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The vocabulary is generally accurate, but there are instances where word choices could be more precise. For example, the phrase "new refugee for global residents" might benefit from a more precise term, such as "alternative habitable space" or "alternative living space." Additionally, the term "endangered species" is correctly used but could be complemented with more specific examples to enhance precision.

    • How to improve: Focus on selecting words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Instead of general terms like "refugee," use more specific and accurate expressions. Additionally, provide concrete examples when discussing abstract concepts, such as mentioning specific endangered species to add clarity and precision to your argument.

  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, spelling is accurate, with minimal errors. However, there are a few instances where plurals are not consistently formed, such as "natural parts" (should be "natural habitats") and "consequences and stable state maintenance process" (could be clarified as "stabilization process").

    • How to improve: Review and proofread your essays for consistency in pluralization and accuracy in sentence structure. Pay attention to detail, ensuring that each term and phrase aligns grammatically with the context. Consider using tools like spell checkers to catch any overlooked errors.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, further improvement can be achieved by expanding vocabulary, refining precision in word choices, and ensuring consistent and accurate spelling throughout the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple and complex sentences are used, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety. For instance, there is a tendency to use some repetitive sentence structures, such as starting sentences with "The most obvious benefit is" and "Another positive aspect is." While these structures are clear, introducing more complex sentence structures, such as compound-complex sentences, can enhance the overall quality of the essay.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating compound and compound-complex sentences. Vary the use of introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of consistently starting sentences with "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," try using different transitions like "Moreover," "Additionally," or "Conversely." This will contribute to a more sophisticated and varied writing style.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits acceptable grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances where subject-verb agreement issues arise, such as in "Two opinions would be discussed in my following essay," where it should be "will be discussed." Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, like missing commas in sentences such as "Therefore, spending many resources on other aspects such as space exploration is not a sensible choice as these mentioned problems need a great deal of time and money." Proper placement of commas is crucial for clarity and coherence.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement to ensure consistency. Proofread the essay for punctuation errors, specifically focusing on the correct use of commas. Consider using more complex punctuation marks, such as semicolons or em dashes, to add variety and precision to your writing. Reviewing grammar rules and practicing with diverse sentence structures will contribute to greater accuracy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of grammatical range and accuracy, improvements in sentence structure variety and meticulous attention to grammar and punctuation details will elevate the overall quality of the writing. It is recommended to focus on enhancing sentence complexity, avoiding repetitive structures, and refining grammatical accuracy through careful proofreading.

Bài sửa mẫu

People hold diverse perspectives on the exploration of outer space for extraterrestrial life. I firmly contend that the pursuit of extraterrestrial life lacks merit given the myriad pressing issues demanding attention on Earth. This essay will explore two contrasting viewpoints.

On one hand, the notion of searching for a habitable planet holds allure since it provides a new refuge for global inhabitants to relocate in the event of Earth becoming uninhabitable. Evidently, Earth is not destined to endure indefinitely, given various external factors, including the projected explosion of the Sun in the ensuing millions of years, as indicated by recent scientific research from Harvard University. The discovery of a new planet would bring an end to this phenomenon, benefiting both humans and endangered species facing habitat loss.

Conversely, I am convinced that allocating excessive resources to the search for extraterrestrial life is currently futile, given the imperative to address pressing issues, notably climate change and conflicts arising from religious and cultural differences. Addressing these issues requires not only financial support but also the mobilization of human resources and active engagement from governments worldwide. Despite achieving permanent control over these adverse phenomena, the recovery of consequences and the maintenance of a stable state pose challenges, as the execution of these actions remains as costly as the resolution process.

In conclusion, notwithstanding the benefits offered by the discovery of new life beyond Earth, I believe that resources should be prioritized to deal with many global issues in order to improve the world’s status quo.

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