The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree
One school of thought holds that free public transport all day and all night could minimize traffic jams. While this belief appears well-rounded, I will challenge this thinking by showcasing its shortcomings as well as other superior solutions.
Proponents of provision of free public transport argue that it might reduce vehicles such as motorbikes and cars on roads. That being the case, traffic congestion might be avoidable to ensure the flow of roads, especially in peak hours. However, this thinking fails to factor in the enormous numbers of other vehicles such as motorbikes. Such those accounting for the most figures in total would be useless in the future without potential solutions. Moreover, bus stations’ human resources would be insufficient to meet society’s needs. This can be easily understood because not many staff are willing to work in night shifts.
Considering the aforementioned limitations, I am convinced that the following measures are more effective in addressing current traffic problems. First and foremost, it is imperative that we adjust the time schedule for specific vehicles going into busy roads. Lorries, for instance, should not be allowed to enter cities, especially peak hours like the early morning and late afternoon, which can be the key to lowering traffic congestion. Such a measure should be executed in tandem with upgrading the road facilities. This can be seen in widening busy roads situated in big cities where a great deal of vehicles frequently occur. Therefore, such wide roads could give more free space to accommodate increasing populations.
In conclusion, I strongly oppose the idea that traffic congestion might be avoided by granting free access to public transport, considering other more beneficial plans such as adjusting the allotted time for vehicles and upgrading the facilities.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"One school of thought holds that" -> "One perspective suggests that"
Explanation: "One perspective suggests that" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "One school of thought holds that," which can sound somewhat colloquial and vague. -
"free public transport all day and all night" -> "unrestricted public transportation at all hours"
Explanation: "Unrestricted public transportation at all hours" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial tone of "all day and all night." -
"appears well-rounded" -> "seems plausible"
Explanation: "Seems plausible" is a more academically appropriate term than "appears well-rounded," which is an idiom that may not be clear in this context. -
"might reduce vehicles such as motorbikes and cars on roads" -> "could decrease the number of motorbikes and cars on the roads"
Explanation: "Could decrease the number of" is more specific and formal than "might reduce," and "motorbikes and cars" is more precise than "vehicles such as." -
"traffic congestion might be avoidable" -> "traffic congestion could be mitigated"
Explanation: "Could be mitigated" is a more precise and formal expression than "might be avoidable," which is vague and less formal. -
"Such those accounting for the most figures in total would be useless" -> "Such vehicles, which account for the majority, would be ineffective"
Explanation: "Such vehicles, which account for the majority, would be ineffective" is clearer and more formal than "Such those accounting for the most figures in total would be useless," which is awkward and unclear. -
"bus stations’ human resources" -> "bus station staff"
Explanation: "Bus station staff" is a more direct and formal term than "bus stations’ human resources," which is overly broad and less specific. -
"not many staff are willing to work in night shifts" -> "few staff members are willing to work night shifts"
Explanation: "Few staff members are willing to work night shifts" is more formal and precise than "not many staff are willing to work in night shifts." -
"adjust the time schedule for specific vehicles going into busy roads" -> "adjust the schedules of specific vehicles entering busy roads"
Explanation: "Adjust the schedules of specific vehicles entering busy roads" is more precise and formal than "adjust the time schedule for specific vehicles going into busy roads." -
"Lorries, for instance, should not be allowed to enter cities" -> "For example, lorries should not be permitted to enter cities"
Explanation: "For example, lorries should not be permitted to enter cities" is more formal and avoids the colloquial "should not be allowed." -
"Such a measure should be executed in tandem with upgrading the road facilities" -> "Such a measure should be implemented concurrently with upgrading road infrastructure"
Explanation: "Implemented concurrently with upgrading road infrastructure" is more formal and precise than "executed in tandem with upgrading the road facilities." -
"widening busy roads situated in big cities" -> "widening busy roads in major cities"
Explanation: "In major cities" is more concise and formal than "situated in big cities," which is less precise and slightly informal. -
"a great deal of vehicles frequently occur" -> "a significant number of vehicles frequently travel"
Explanation: "A significant number of vehicles frequently travel" is more precise and formal than "a great deal of vehicles frequently occur," which is awkward and incorrect in this context. -
"free space to accommodate increasing populations" -> "additional space to accommodate growing populations"
Explanation: "Additional space to accommodate growing populations" is more formal and precise than "free space to accommodate increasing populations," which is vague and informal.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the idea of providing free public transport as a solution to traffic congestion and presents a counterargument. The author acknowledges the potential benefits of free public transport but ultimately argues against it, which aligns with the requirement to express an opinion. However, the essay could have more explicitly stated the extent of agreement or disagreement with the proposal, as the prompt asks "to what extent" the writer agrees or disagrees.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should clearly state their position at the beginning and reiterate it throughout the essay. A more direct response to the prompt could include phrases like "I partially agree" or "I fully disagree," followed by a brief explanation of the reasoning behind this stance.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against the idea of free public transport, which is commendable. The author effectively argues that this solution has shortcomings and presents alternative measures. However, the position could be reinforced by more consistent language that emphasizes disagreement throughout the essay, particularly in the introduction and conclusion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should use consistent language that reflects their stance. Phrases like "I believe" or "I contend" can help reinforce the author’s viewpoint. Additionally, summarizing the position in the conclusion with a strong statement would enhance clarity.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the limitations of free public transport and alternative solutions like adjusting vehicle schedules and upgrading road facilities. However, some ideas lack sufficient elaboration. For instance, while the author mentions that bus stations would struggle with staffing, this point could benefit from further explanation or examples to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing the need for adjusting vehicle schedules, the author could elaborate on how this would be implemented and its expected impact on traffic congestion. Including statistics or case studies could also bolster the arguments.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on traffic congestion and the proposed solution of free public transport. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For example, the mention of "widening busy roads" could be seen as slightly tangential if not directly linked back to the main argument against free public transport.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central argument regarding free public transport. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that clearly ties back to the thesis, and any additional solutions should be framed in the context of why they are preferable to the proposed solution.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their essay, potentially raising their score in the Task Response category.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the notion that free public transport can effectively alleviate traffic congestion. The introduction sets the stage by outlining the writer’s stance and intention to challenge the prevailing thought. Each paragraph follows a logical progression, moving from the argument in favor of free public transport to the writer’s counterarguments and alternative solutions. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother; for instance, the shift from discussing the shortcomings of free public transport to proposing alternative measures feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For example, after discussing the limitations of free public transport, a phrase like "In light of these challenges, it is essential to explore alternative solutions" could provide a clearer connection to the next paragraph.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s position, the second paragraph discusses the drawbacks of free public transport, and the third paragraph presents alternative solutions. However, the second paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main argument.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each one begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, the second paragraph could start with a sentence like, "Despite the potential benefits of free public transport, several significant drawbacks must be considered."
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "first and foremost," which help to connect ideas and maintain coherence. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some transitions feel repetitive. For instance, "such as" is used multiple times, which can detract from the overall flow.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "such as," you could use alternatives like "for instance," "for example," or "including." Additionally, varying sentence structures can enhance cohesion; for example, using relative clauses or participial phrases can create more complex and engaging sentences.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, implementing these suggestions can further enhance clarity and fluidity, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "traffic jams," "proponents," and "imperative." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "traffic congestion" and "vehicles." This limits the overall lexical variety and sophistication expected at a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "traffic congestion," alternatives like "road congestion," "traffic bottlenecks," or "vehicle overcrowding" could be used. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text, such as "significant" instead of "enormous" or "critical" instead of "key."
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary, such as "Such those accounting for the most figures in total would be useless in the future without potential solutions." This phrase is unclear and awkwardly constructed, leading to confusion about the intended meaning. The term "useless" also lacks specificity in this context.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in word choice. For example, instead of "useless," a more precise term could be "ineffective" or "insufficient." Furthermore, restructuring sentences for clarity can help convey ideas more effectively. For instance, "Such vehicles account for the majority of traffic and will remain a challenge without effective solutions" would be clearer.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, but there are minor errors, such as "Such those" which is grammatically incorrect and could be a typographical error. Additionally, "night shifts" could be more clearly stated as "night shifts" without the possessive form.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on common pitfalls and ensuring that phrases are grammatically correct. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that might be overlooked during writing.
Overall, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will contribute to a higher band score. Regular practice with varied reading materials and writing exercises can further develop these skills.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For example, the opening sentence employs a complex structure: "One school of thought holds that free public transport all day and all night could minimize traffic jams." This effectively sets the stage for the argument. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "that" clauses, which can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous. Additionally, some sentences, such as "Such those accounting for the most figures in total would be useless in the future without potential solutions," are awkwardly constructed and could be clearer.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence openings and using different conjunctions to connect ideas. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Such," try beginning with adverbial phrases or clauses. Additionally, practice using passive voice where appropriate to add variety, e.g., "It is believed that…" or "Many argue that…".
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar, but there are notable errors that affect clarity and coherence. For instance, the phrase "Such those accounting for the most figures in total would be useless" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The use of commas is inconsistent; for example, "Moreover, bus stations’ human resources would be insufficient to meet society’s needs." is correct, but the sentence structure could be improved for clarity. Additionally, the phrase "especially peak hours like the early morning and late afternoon, which can be the key to lowering traffic congestion" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate ideas.
- How to improve: Focus on refining grammatical accuracy by reviewing subject-verb agreement and ensuring that noun phrases are constructed correctly. For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses and items in a list correctly. Reading your essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. Consider revising sentences for clarity, such as rephrasing "Such those accounting for the most figures in total" to "Those vehicles that account for the majority of traffic."
By addressing these areas, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
One perspective suggests that providing free public transport around the clock could minimize traffic congestion. While this belief seems plausible, I will challenge this viewpoint by highlighting its shortcomings and presenting alternative solutions that may be more effective.
Proponents of free public transport argue that it could decrease the number of vehicles, such as motorbikes and cars, on the roads. If this were the case, traffic congestion could be mitigated, especially during peak hours. However, this argument fails to consider the significant number of other vehicles, particularly motorbikes, which account for the majority of traffic. Without addressing these vehicles, the initiative may prove ineffective. Furthermore, the staffing at bus stations would likely be inadequate to meet the demands of a 24-hour service. This is evident, as few staff members are willing to work night shifts.
Considering these limitations, I am convinced that the following measures are more effective in addressing current traffic problems. First and foremost, it is imperative to adjust the schedules of specific vehicles entering busy roads. For example, lorries should not be permitted to enter cities during peak hours, such as early morning and late afternoon, as this could significantly reduce traffic congestion. Such a measure should be implemented concurrently with upgrading road infrastructure. This includes widening busy roads in major cities, where a significant number of vehicles frequently travel. By creating additional space, we can better accommodate growing populations.
In conclusion, I strongly oppose the idea that traffic congestion can be alleviated solely by providing free access to public transport. Instead, I advocate for more beneficial strategies, such as adjusting vehicle schedules and enhancing road facilities.