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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The table offers information about money invested for the police budget of an area in Britain, while the two pie charts illustrate a detailed description of its expenditure between 2017 and 2018.

Overall, the total police budget presents an increasing trend of the three major investors, and that money is largely spent on salaries paid for officers and staff.

Looking at the table, 2 million pounds rising in the distribution from the National Government, with 177.8 million pounds, played as a key factor leading to total investment for the police budget increasing up to 14 million pounds. Similarly, the Local Taxes underwent a dramatic rise from 91.2 million pounds to 102.3 million pounds in 2018. However, other sources supplied to the police budget almost stayed unchanged when being only 0.5 million pounds higher than the former figure in 2017.

As for the couple of pie charts, although ranking as the highest figure in the two years, officers and staff salaries slightly decreased 6 percent, occupying 69 percent in total. In contrast, the expenditure on technology was 6 percent higher than 8 percent in 2018, but still accounted for the lowest figure. Meanwhile, buildings and transport remained 17 percent throughout the period shown.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "money invested for the police budget" -> "funds allocated to the police budget"
    Explanation: "Funds allocated to" is a more precise and formal term than "money invested for," which sounds vague and informal in this context.

  2. "two pie charts illustrate a detailed description" -> "two pie charts provide a detailed breakdown"
    Explanation: "Provide a detailed breakdown" is more specific and academically appropriate than "illustrate a detailed description," which is somewhat redundant and less precise.

  3. "total police budget presents an increasing trend" -> "total police budget shows an increasing trend"
    Explanation: "Shows" is more commonly used in academic writing to describe the display of data, making it more natural and precise than "presents."

  4. "money is largely spent on salaries paid for officers and staff" -> "a significant portion of the budget is allocated to salaries for officers and staff"
    Explanation: "A significant portion of the budget is allocated to" is more formal and precise than "money is largely spent on," which is too casual for academic writing.

  5. "2 million pounds rising in the distribution from the National Government" -> "a 2 million pound increase in funding from the National Government"
    Explanation: "A 2 million pound increase in funding" is clearer and more formal than "2 million pounds rising in the distribution," which is awkwardly phrased.

  6. "played as a key factor" -> "played a key role as"
    Explanation: "Played a key role as" is grammatically correct and more formal than "played as a key factor," which is grammatically incorrect.

  7. "dramatic rise" -> "significant increase"
    Explanation: "Significant increase" is a more neutral and formal term compared to "dramatic rise," which can be seen as overly emotional for academic writing.

  8. "other sources supplied to the police budget almost stayed unchanged" -> "other sources contributed to the police budget with little variation"
    Explanation: "Contributed to the police budget with little variation" is more precise and formal than "almost stayed unchanged," which is vague and informal.

  9. "couple of pie charts" -> "pair of pie charts"
    Explanation: "Pair" is the correct term for two items, whereas "couple" is informal and less precise.

  10. "officers and staff salaries slightly decreased 6 percent" -> "officers’ and staff salaries decreased by 6 percent"
    Explanation: "Decreased by" is the correct prepositional phrase for quantifying a percentage decrease, making the sentence more grammatically correct and formal.

  11. "occupying 69 percent in total" -> "accounting for 69 percent of the total"
    Explanation: "Accounting for" is a more formal and precise way to describe the proportion of a total, compared to "occupying," which is less commonly used in this context.

  12. "expenditure on technology was 6 percent higher than 8 percent" -> "expenditure on technology increased by 6 percentage points over 8 percent"
    Explanation: "Increased by 6 percentage points over 8 percent" is clearer and more precise, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "was 6 percent higher than 8 percent."

  13. "remained 17 percent throughout the period shown" -> "remained at 17 percent throughout the period depicted"
    Explanation: "Remained at" is more formal and precise than "remained," and "depicted" is a more appropriate term for describing the presentation of data in charts.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the data, but the information is not always presented in a clear and concise way. For example, the essay states that "the total police budget presents an increasing trend of the three major investors", but it does not provide any specific figures to support this claim. The essay also makes some inaccurate statements, such as claiming that "other sources supplied to the police budget almost stayed unchanged". In fact, the data shows that other sources increased by 0.5 million pounds.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific figures to support the overview. The essay could also be improved by avoiding inaccurate statements and by presenting the information in a more concise and clear way. For example, the essay could be improved by using bullet points to highlight the key features of the data.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, presenting a clear overall progression. The introduction effectively outlines the content of the table and charts, and the overall trends are summarized well. However, while cohesive devices are used, there are instances where cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to some mechanical flow. The referencing is somewhat unclear at times, particularly in the transition between discussing the budget sources and the expenditure breakdown. Paragraphing is present but could be more logically structured to enhance clarity.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a clearer logical flow between ideas and more varied use of cohesive devices to avoid any mechanical feel. Improving the clarity of referencing would help the reader follow the argument more easily. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a distinct focus and is well-developed would strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common terms. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "money invested for the police budget" instead of "funding for the police budget," which affects clarity. Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "couple of pie charts" which could be more appropriately phrased as "two pie charts." While these errors do not completely impede communication, they detract from the overall effectiveness of the lexical resource used in the essay.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using more precise and varied word choices. They should also pay attention to collocation and ensure that phrases are used correctly. Practicing the use of less common lexical items in context, alongside proofreading for spelling and word formation errors, will enhance the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, incorporating synonyms and varying sentence structures can contribute to a more sophisticated lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some attempts at complex structures, the overall accuracy is inconsistent, and errors in grammar and punctuation are present. However, these errors do not significantly impede communication, allowing the main ideas to be conveyed effectively.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on increasing the accuracy of complex sentence structures and minimizing grammatical errors. This can be done by practicing sentence variety and ensuring that punctuation is used correctly. Additionally, enhancing the clarity of comparisons and ensuring that all information is presented logically will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table provides information about the funding for the police budget in an area of Britain, while the two pie charts illustrate a detailed description of its expenditure between 2017 and 2018.

Overall, the total police budget shows an increasing trend from the three major sources of funding, and the majority of the budget is allocated to salaries for officers and staff.

Looking at the table, the funding from the National Government rose by 2 million pounds, reaching a total of 177.8 million pounds, which was a key factor in the total investment for the police budget increasing by 14 million pounds. Similarly, Local Taxes experienced a significant rise from 91.2 million pounds to 102.3 million pounds in 2018. However, funding from other sources remained relatively stable, increasing by only 0.5 million pounds compared to the previous figure in 2017.

Regarding the pie charts, although salaries for officers and staff ranked as the highest expenditure in both years, they slightly decreased by 6 percent, accounting for 69 percent of the total budget. In contrast, expenditure on technology rose by 6 percent to 14 percent in 2018, but still represented the lowest figure. Meanwhile, spending on buildings and transport remained constant at 17 percent throughout the period shown.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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