In the future, nobody will buy printed books or newspapers because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying? To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future, nobody will buy printed books or newspapers because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying?

To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people claim that the development of technology will make people not interested in buying printed books or newspapers because they can read everything on the internet. Although there are some reasons for this way of thinking, I believe that there still will be many people buying printed books and newspapers in the future.

On the one hand, there are some benefits for online reading. First, online reading is really convenient for many people because if they have a smartphone with an internet connection, they can read any time anywhere they want. In addition, the internet is a huge source of information in many areas such as political, sport, entertainment so people can easily to choose the news for a topic suitable with them to read. For example, when people search information about the Champion League which is a famous football competition in the Google, there are a thousand of content about this topic so they can easily choose what they want to read.

On the other hand, I believe that there are still many demands for printed books or newspapers, especially for old people. To Be specific, many elderly people feel confused and find it hard to use and understand the smartphone so they cannot use it for reading news on the internet. Therefore, they would prefer buying printed books and news to reading news in the internet. For instance, according to a survey of American records, there are up to 60% people more than 65 years old cannot use smartphone so the only source for them to read news is newspaper and printed books.

In conclusion, while there are some benefits of reading news on the internet, I believe that many old people have such demands for newspapers and printed books.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "Some people claim" -> "Some individuals assert"
   Explanation: Replacing "claim" with "assert" elevates the formality of the statement, aligning with academic style.

2. "make people not interested" -> "diminish people’s interest"
   Explanation: "Make people not interested" is a colloquial phrase; "diminish people’s interest" maintains formality and clarity.

3. "everything on the internet" -> "all content available online"
   Explanation: "Everything on the internet" is overly broad; "all content available online" is more precise and formal.

4. "many people" (repeated) -> "numerous individuals"
   Explanation: Varying the term "many people" with "numerous individuals" adds sophistication and avoids repetition.

5. "online reading" -> "digital reading"
   Explanation: "Online reading" is fine, but "digital reading" offers a more formal and encompassing term.

6. "First" -> "Firstly"
   Explanation: "First" can be made more formal by using "Firstly."

7. "so they can easily choose what they want to read" -> "thus enabling them to select their preferred content"
   Explanation: The original phrase is informal; the suggested alternative maintains clarity while enhancing formality.

8. "For example" -> "For instance"
   Explanation: "For example" is slightly less formal than "For instance," which is more appropriate for academic writing.

9. "To Be specific" -> "To be specific"
   Explanation: Capitalization of the "b" in "To Be specific" is unnecessary; "To be specific" is correct.

10. "old people" -> "elderly individuals"
    Explanation: "Old people" can be seen as somewhat informal; "elderly individuals" is more respectful and formal.

11. "many demands" -> "significant demand"
    Explanation: "Many demands" can be simplified to "significant demand" without losing meaning, and it sounds more formal.

12. "For instance" -> "For example"
    Explanation: "For instance" is more formal, but it’s used more for specifying examples rather than introducing them.

13. "while there are some benefits" -> "although there are certain advantages"
    Explanation: "While" is less formal than "although," and "certain advantages" is more precise than "some benefits."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both sides of the argument – the potential decline of printed materials due to online accessibility and the continued demand for printed materials, especially among older individuals. The introduction presents a clear stance against the statement while acknowledging the opposing viewpoint, and the conclusion reaffirms the author’s position.
  • How to improve: To enhance the completeness of the response, the essay could delve deeper into the reasons why some people believe printed materials will become obsolete and offer more nuanced arguments against this perspective. Additionally, providing examples or statistics to support both viewpoints would strengthen the analysis.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position throughout, expressing disagreement with the statement that printed materials will become obsolete in the future. The author clearly articulates this stance in the introduction and reinforces it in the body paragraphs and conclusion.
  • How to improve: To further improve clarity and coherence, the author could explicitly state their position in the thesis statement of the introduction, ensuring that it is unmistakably clear to the reader from the outset.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately, discussing the benefits of online reading and the continued demand for printed materials, particularly among older individuals. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited, with minimal elaboration or in-depth analysis.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author could provide more detailed examples and explanations to support their points. Additionally, incorporating counterarguments and addressing potential rebuttals would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic and enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, addressing the central question of whether printed materials will become obsolete in the future. However, there are minor instances where the focus could be tighter, such as the brief discussion of online convenience in the second paragraph.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point directly relates to the central argument and refrain from introducing tangential ideas. This can be achieved through careful planning and organization of the essay structure.

Overall, while the essay effectively presents arguments against the obsolescence of printed materials and demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt, there is room for improvement in depth of analysis, coherence, and focus. By providing more nuanced arguments, supporting ideas with evidence, and maintaining a strong organizational structure, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization by presenting two distinct viewpoints regarding the future of printed books and newspapers. The introduction introduces the topic and the writer’s stance effectively. Each body paragraph discusses one side of the argument, with the first paragraph highlighting the benefits of online reading and the second paragraph focusing on the continued demand for printed materials, especially among older individuals. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new ideas.
  • How to improve: While the organization is generally effective, enhancing the transitions between paragraphs could further improve coherence. Consider using transition phrases or sentences to smoothly guide the reader from one idea to the next, reinforcing the logical flow of the essay.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is appropriately divided into paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction and conclusion are clearly delineated, and the body paragraphs each present a coherent argument supported by examples.
  • How to improve: While the structure of the paragraphs is sound, varying the length and complexity of sentences within each paragraph could add further dynamism to the writing. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence could enhance the reader’s understanding of the main point of each section.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within and between sentences. For instance, transition words such as "although," "on the one hand," and "on the other hand" help signal shifts in perspective and maintain coherence. Additionally, pronouns and demonstrative adjectives are used appropriately to refer back to previously mentioned ideas.
  • How to improve: To further enrich the cohesion of the essay, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as synonyms, parallel structure, and conjunctions. This can help avoid repetition and enhance the overall flow of the writing. Additionally, ensuring consistent pronoun reference throughout the essay can prevent ambiguity and maintain clarity for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some variation in word choice. For instance, terms like "development of technology," "convenient," "source of information," and "elderly people" are appropriately utilized. However, there’s room for improvement in incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance lexical diversity and depth. For example, instead of repeatedly using "people," employing synonyms like "individuals," "citizens," or "populace" can enrich the expression.
  • How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating a wider array of synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and specialized vocabulary related to the topic. Introduce terms that demonstrate nuanced understanding and add depth to the arguments presented. Additionally, employing collocations and phrasal verbs can elevate the fluency and sophistication of the language.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "many old people" could be refined to "a significant portion of the elderly population" to add specificity and precision to the language. Furthermore, avoiding repetition of terms like "online reading" and "printed books or newspapers" can contribute to more precise expression.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, strive to use terminology that precisely conveys the intended meaning. Consider replacing general terms with more specific ones where applicable, and avoid unnecessary repetition by employing synonyms or restructuring sentences. Additionally, proofreading for clarity and coherence can help ensure precise vocabulary usage throughout the essay.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits satisfactory spelling accuracy, with minor errors observed sporadically. For instance, "Champion League" should be corrected to "Champions League," and "news" should be pluralized as "newspapers" in one instance. While these errors do not significantly detract from comprehension, enhancing spelling consistency can contribute to a more polished and professional presentation.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools during the writing process and thoroughly proofreading the essay before submission. Additionally, paying attention to common spelling patterns and practicing spellings of frequently encountered words can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Engaging in regular reading and writing activities can also contribute to greater familiarity with spelling conventions and reduce the likelihood of errors in future compositions.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. It utilizes simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively to convey ideas. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the sentence structures further. For instance, the essay predominantly employs simple sentences, which can make the writing appear somewhat repetitive and lacking in sophistication. Complex sentences, such as those incorporating subordinate clauses or participial phrases, are infrequent.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating a broader range of sentence types. Introduce complex sentences to add depth and complexity to your arguments. For example, instead of relying solely on simple sentences, try integrating subordinate clauses or introductory phrases to provide additional information or clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, experiment with different sentence lengths to create rhythm and emphasis in your writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation. Most sentences are grammatically correct, with few errors affecting clarity or meaning. However, there are instances where grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors occur. For example, in the phrase "many elderly people feel confused and find it hard to use and understand the smartphone so they cannot use it for reading news on the internet," the repetition of "use" could be avoided for better clarity. Additionally, the lack of parallel structure in "to use and understand the smartphone" could be addressed.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, consider revising sentences to ensure clarity and coherence. Proofread your writing carefully to identify and correct errors in grammar and punctuation. Pay close attention to sentence structure, verb agreement, and punctuation usage to enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of your writing. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common grammatical patterns and punctuation rules through practice and study to strengthen your writing skills further.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals assert that all content available online will eventually replace the need for printed books or newspapers, arguing that digital reading will become the norm. However, while there are certain advantages to digital reading, I disagree with the notion that printed materials will become obsolete in the future.

Firstly, it’s undeniable that online reading offers convenience. Individuals with access to the internet via smartphones can indulge in digital content anytime, anywhere, thus enabling them to select their preferred content with ease. For instance, when searching for information about the Champions League, a popular football competition, one can find a plethora of content online, allowing them to choose articles tailored to their interests.

However, despite the convenience of digital reading, there remains a significant demand for printed materials, particularly among elderly individuals. Many seniors struggle to navigate smartphones and find digital interfaces challenging to use, making it difficult for them to access news online. As a result, they continue to rely on printed books and newspapers for their reading needs. For example, statistics from a survey conducted in the United States reveal that over 60% of individuals aged 65 and above struggle to use smartphones, relying solely on printed materials for news consumption.

In conclusion, although there are certain advantages to reading news online, I believe that the demand for newspapers and printed books, especially among older generations, will persist.