fbpx

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crimes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crimes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The contemporary world has witnessed the considerable development of advanced technology. Thereby, one school of thought holds a notion that a downward trend in criminal conditions is solved by many digital systems. Conversely , others believe that a significant increase of offenders is mainly caused by many digital platforms. This essay will elaborate on both views before presenting my personal opinion.

On the one hand, in terms of enhancement, the digital era will provide communities with greater security systems preventing lawbreakers from commiting a crime. For instance, a wide range of the warning alarm systems and some infrared cameras securing many offenders are more convenient and effective. This is due to the fact that many nocturnal thieves regularly commit a crime in the mid-night in order to avoid people’s attention, therefore, many technological facilities make it difficult for law breakers to perform their evil activities without being detected. In fact, many countries all over the world set up many observing devices at some destinations such as private houses, companies as well as central stations. As a result, these benefits are limiting many unlawful activities in social life.

On the other hand, digital systems becoming more densely enable cybercriminals to act their illegal activities via available databases in computers as well as users' accounts. To be more specific, hackers may steal individuals’ accounts on many social platforms such as Facebook, Zalo, Instagram,ect …. thanks to the victim's sensitive information being shared into these social medias. Because of the lack of security in social websites, it leads the user’s information to release into the internet. As a consequence, High-tech crimes take advantage of security holes to exploit and set up virtual accounts to hack user database information.

In conclusion, we see that devices help us protect personal possessions but also motivate some high-tech criminals to exploit them and commit illegal acts that cause damage to people. Therefore, governments should introduce a number of measures to raise people's awareness while improving the security system thoroughly.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Thereby, one school of thought holds a notion that" -> "Consequently, some argue that"
    Explanation: "Thereby" is somewhat archaic and less commonly used in modern academic writing. "Consequently" is more straightforward and appropriate for formal essays. The phrase "one school of thought holds a notion that" is verbose and can be simplified to "some argue that" for clarity and conciseness.

  2. "a downward trend in criminal conditions is solved by many digital systems" -> "a decline in criminal activity is mitigated by various digital systems"
    Explanation: "Solved" is too strong and implies complete elimination, which is not accurate in this context. "Mitigated" is more precise and appropriate for describing the partial reduction of criminal activity. "Criminal conditions" is vague; "criminal activity" is more specific and appropriate.

  3. "a significant increase of offenders" -> "a significant increase in the number of offenders"
    Explanation: "Increase of offenders" is grammatically incorrect. "Increase in the number of offenders" is grammatically correct and clearer.

  4. "commiting a crime" -> "committing a crime"
    Explanation: "Commiting" is a spelling error; it should be "committing."

  5. "some infrared cameras securing many offenders" -> "some infrared cameras that secure many areas"
    Explanation: "Securing many offenders" is incorrect as offenders are not objects that can be secured. "Secure many areas" is more accurate and contextually appropriate.

  6. "many nocturnal thieves" -> "many nocturnal thieves"
    Explanation: No change needed as "nocturnal thieves" is correct and clear.

  7. "mid-night" -> "midnight"
    Explanation: "Mid-night" is a typographical error; "midnight" is the correct term.

  8. "many observing devices" -> "many surveillance devices"
    Explanation: "Observing devices" is vague and less specific. "Surveillance devices" is the correct term for devices used for monitoring and observing.

  9. "digital systems becoming more densely enable" -> "the increasing density of digital systems enables"
    Explanation: "Becoming more densely enable" is awkward and unclear. "The increasing density of digital systems enables" is clearer and more formal.

  10. "act their illegal activities" -> "engage in illegal activities"
    Explanation: "Act their illegal activities" is grammatically incorrect. "Engage in illegal activities" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  11. "via available databases in computers as well as users’ accounts" -> "through available databases on computers and users’ accounts"
    Explanation: "Via" is often used incorrectly in formal writing; "through" is more appropriate. "As well as" is informal; "and" is more formal.

  12. "Facebook, Zalo, Instagram,ect …" -> "Facebook, Zalo, Instagram, etc."
    Explanation: "Ect" is a typographical error; "etc." is the correct abbreviation for "et cetera."

  13. "the victim’s sensitive information being shared into these social medias" -> "the victim’s sensitive information being shared on these social media platforms"
    Explanation: "Shared into" is incorrect; "shared on" is the correct preposition. "Social medias" should be "social media platforms" for clarity and formality.

  14. "High-tech crimes take advantage of security holes" -> "High-tech criminals exploit security vulnerabilities"
    Explanation: "High-tech crimes" is vague; "High-tech criminals" is more specific. "Security holes" is less formal; "security vulnerabilities" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.

  15. "improving the security system thoroughly" -> "thoroughly improving the security system"
    Explanation: "Improving the security system thoroughly" is grammatically awkward. "Thoroughly improving the security system" is grammatically correct and clearer.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng:

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

Bài sửa mẫu

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này