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Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Newspapers are believed to be the best way to receive the news while some people consider that social media is a more effective way.In my opinion,both ways have their own pros and cons and I believe that newspapers will continue as the best way to gain the information.
Admittedly,social media is the best source of information that provides a more efficient and immediate way to access the news.In this digital era,online websites and some mass media platforms offer a fast-time update ensuring that readers can inform about the events as fast as possible.For example,people with their smartphone can now gain the information about the topic which they interested in anywhere and anytime.Furthermore,the multimedia factors such as videos and graphics that make the news more accessible and interesting.For example,some channels like BBC news or VTV24 often attracts a lot of people watching the news
On the other hand,newspapers are synonymous with their reliability and credibility.They are authored by some professional journalists ensuring accurate and well-researched reporting that make people not worry about the fake news.Moreover,reading newspapers offer a focused reading experience and in-depth analysis allowing readers to gain a deeper understanding of complex issues.For example,the Times of England is still the best choice among all ages groups because of its formal languages and authentic services.
In conclusion,while newspapers are the best way to learn the news in terms of its accuracy,credibility and the distracting reading experience.Social media is a better method to receive the news in regard to its convenience and attraction.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Newspapers are believed to be the best way to receive the news while some people consider that social media is a more effective way." -> "Newspapers are widely regarded as a primary source for news, whereas some argue that social media provides a more effective means."
    Explanation: Replacing "believed to be" with "widely regarded as" enhances formality. Additionally, the modification in the latter part of the sentence improves clarity by specifying that some argue for social media.

  2. "In my opinion, both ways have their own pros and cons and I believe that newspapers will continue as the best way to gain the information." -> "In my view, both avenues have their respective advantages and disadvantages; nevertheless, I assert that newspapers will persist as the paramount means of information retrieval."
    Explanation: The repetition of "I believe" is eliminated for conciseness, and the term "pros and cons" is replaced with "advantages and disadvantages" for a more formal tone.

  3. "Admittedly, social media is the best source of information that provides a more efficient and immediate way to access the news." -> "Admittedly, social media stands out as a preeminent source of information, offering a more efficient and immediate means of news access."
    Explanation: Replacing "best source" with "preeminent source" adds sophistication, and the modification clarifies that social media is being acknowledged for its efficiency and immediacy.

  4. "In this digital era, online websites and some mass media platforms offer a fast-time update ensuring that readers can inform about the events as fast as possible." -> "In this digital era, online websites and various mass media platforms provide real-time updates, ensuring that readers can stay informed about events promptly."
    Explanation: "Fast-time update" is replaced with "real-time updates" for accuracy, and the sentence is rephrased for improved fluency and formality.

  5. "For example, people with their smartphone can now gain the information about the topic which they interested in anywhere and anytime." -> "For instance, individuals can now access information on topics of interest using their smartphones at any time and place."
    Explanation: The phrase "gain the information about the topic which they interested in" is simplified for clarity and formality.

  6. "Furthermore, the multimedia factors such as videos and graphics that make the news more accessible and interesting." -> "Furthermore, multimedia elements, such as videos and graphics, enhance the accessibility and appeal of the news."
    Explanation: The sentence is revised for smoother flow, and "factors that make" is replaced with "elements, such as," for precision.

  7. "For example, some channels like BBC news or VTV24 often attracts a lot of people watching the news." -> "For instance, channels such as BBC News or VTV24 frequently attract a substantial viewership."
    Explanation: The phrase "often attracts a lot of people watching the news" is streamlined for conciseness and formality.

  8. "On the other hand, newspapers are synonymous with their reliability and credibility." -> "On the contrary, newspapers are synonymous with reliability and credibility."
    Explanation: The phrase "synonymous with their" is simplified for clarity, and the word "contrary" is introduced for variety.

  9. "They are authored by some professional journalists ensuring accurate and well-researched reporting that make people not worry about the fake news." -> "Authored by professional journalists, newspapers ensure accurate and well-researched reporting, alleviating concerns about fake news."
    Explanation: The phrase "that make people not worry about" is revised for conciseness, and the sentence is restructured for improved clarity.

  10. "Moreover, reading newspapers offer a focused reading experience and in-depth analysis allowing readers to gain a deeper understanding of complex issues." -> "Moreover, reading newspapers offers a focused reading experience and facilitates in-depth analysis, enabling readers to attain a deeper understanding of complex issues."
    Explanation: The verb agreement is corrected to "offers," and the phrase "allowing readers to gain" is modified for precision and formality.

  11. "For example, the Times of England is still the best choice among all ages groups because of its formal languages and authentic services." -> "For example, The Times of England remains a preferred choice across all age groups due to its formal language and authentic content."
    Explanation: "The best choice among all ages groups" is refined for conciseness and clarity, and "formal languages" is corrected to "formal language."

  12. "In conclusion, while newspapers are the best way to learn the news in terms of its accuracy, credibility, and the distracting reading experience." -> "In conclusion, newspapers emerge as the superior means of acquiring news, characterized by accuracy, credibility, and an immersive reading experience."
    Explanation: The sentence is revised for better structure and clarity, and "the distracting reading experience" is modified to "an immersive reading experience" for precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument: the belief in newspapers as the best way to receive news and the opposing view that social media is more effective. It also presents the writer’s opinion supporting newspapers. However, the discussion lacks depth and thorough exploration, particularly in considering the opposing viewpoint.
    • How to improve: To enhance this section, ensure each perspective (newspapers and social media) is thoroughly discussed with specific examples and a more comprehensive evaluation. For instance, delve deeper into the drawbacks of both mediums, considering factors like bias, depth of coverage, and societal impact.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position favoring newspapers as the superior source of news. This stance is consistently expressed throughout the essay, supported by arguments emphasizing reliability, credibility, and focused reading experience.
    • How to improve: While maintaining a clear stance is commendable, ensuring a more balanced approach by acknowledging the strengths of social media would strengthen the essay. This can involve presenting a nuanced perspective that acknowledges the strengths of social media while still affirming the superiority of newspapers.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about both newspapers and social media, discussing their respective strengths such as immediacy and credibility. However, these ideas lack depth and thorough development. Examples, while present, could be more varied and detailed to better support the arguments.
    • How to improve: To extend and support ideas effectively, provide more diverse examples and elaborate on each point further. For instance, instead of just mentioning BBC News and VTV24, elaborate on specific instances or stories where these platforms demonstrated their effectiveness or drawbacks.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing newspapers and social media as methods of accessing news. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper, especially in providing detailed examples to back up claims.
    • How to improve: Ensure all examples and points directly relate to the discussion of how individuals consume news. Limit tangential discussions and strengthen the relevance of examples to support the arguments made.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt but could significantly improve by delving deeper into the advantages and disadvantages of both newspapers and social media. Additionally, enriching the essay with more detailed and varied examples while maintaining a balanced approach would enhance the overall Task Response score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally organizes information logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint,and a conclusion summarizing the key points. The introduction clearly presents the two views on how to learn about the news, and the subsequent paragraphs explore each perspective. However, there are instances where the logical flow could be improved. For example, the transition between discussing social media and newspapers could be smoother. Additionally, the placement of the concluding sentence in the second-to-last paragraph seems abrupt, impacting the overall coherence.

    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider refining transitions between ideas. Ensure a smoother shift from discussing one perspective to the other. Additionally, carefully place concluding sentences to provide a more seamless transition to the next paragraph.

  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the structure within some paragraphs could be more refined. For instance, the paragraph discussing social media could be more organized, with a clear topic sentence and supporting details.

    • How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by starting each with a clear topic sentence. Ensure that each paragraph maintains a central theme and offers sufficient supporting details. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into more concise ones for improved readability.

  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses a range of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases,to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of cohesive devices. While some transitions are present, they could be more varied to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

    • How to improve: Broaden the use of cohesive devices, incorporating a variety of transitional words and phrases. Consider using more advanced cohesive devices to enhance the overall flow and coherence of the essay. Pay attention to the placement of these devices to ensure a seamless connection between ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion, earning a band score of 7. To further improve, focus on refining transitions, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices. These adjustments will contribute to a more polished and seamlessly connected essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. It includes words and phrases relevant to the topic, such as "synonymous," "reliability," and "multimedia factors." However, there is room for improvement as some ideas are repeated, and certain points lack variety in expression.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more synonyms and exploring different ways to express ideas. For instance, instead of frequently using "information," try alternatives like "news updates" or "current affairs." Additionally, vary sentence structures to avoid repetition and showcase versatility.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The vocabulary usage is generally accurate, but there are instances where the choice of words could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "social media is the best source of information" might benefit from specifying the type of information, such as "real-time updates" or "breaking news."
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to the context in which words are used and strive for precision. Replace general terms with more specific ones that convey the intended meaning more accurately. Use adjectives and adverbs judiciously to add nuance and detail to your expressions.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate, with only a few minor errors, such as "mass media" instead of "mass media platforms" and "distracting" instead of "detailed." These errors, however, do not significantly impede understanding.
    • How to improve: Continue to focus on spelling accuracy, particularly when using specific terms or technical expressions. Consider proofreading your work carefully to catch and correct any minor spelling mistakes. Additionally, use tools like spell checkers to aid in identifying and rectifying errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with room for refinement. To elevate the lexical resource, focus on incorporating a wider range of vocabulary, using words more precisely, and ensuring consistent spelling accuracy. This will contribute to a more sophisticated and nuanced expression of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. There is effective use of conjunctions to connect ideas. However, there is room for improvement in terms of sentence complexity and diversity. The majority of sentences are relatively straightforward, and more complex structures could enhance the overall quality of expression.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures. Introduce compound and complex sentences to add sophistication to your writing. For instance, instead of relying on predominantly simple sentences, experiment with combining ideas to create more intricate and nuanced sentences.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy. However, there are some instances of grammatical errors and awkward constructions. For example, in the phrase "ensure that readers can inform about the events," the word "inform" should be replaced with "be informed." Additionally, there are a few instances where subject-verb agreement could be improved.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of prepositions. Proofread your essay carefully to identify and rectify such errors. Consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-check tools to catch overlooked mistakes.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally used correctly, but there are a few instances that require attention. For example, in the sentence "In conclusion, while newspapers are the best way to learn the news in terms of its accuracy, credibility and the distracting reading experience," a comma after "credibility" would enhance clarity. Additionally, there are places where a more judicious use of commas could improve the flow of the text.
    • How to improve: To refine punctuation skills, review the rules for comma usage, especially in complex sentences. Ensure that commas are used to separate distinct ideas and improve the overall readability of the essay. Practice incorporating commas appropriately into your writing, paying attention to their impact on the clarity and coherence of your sentences.

Bài sửa mẫu

Newspapers are widely regarded as a primary source for news, whereas some argue that social media provides a more effective means. In my view, both avenues have their respective advantages and disadvantages; nevertheless, I assert that newspapers will persist as the paramount means of information retrieval.

Admittedly, social media stands out as a preeminent source of information, offering a more efficient and immediate means of news access. In this digital era, online websites and various mass media platforms provide real-time updates, ensuring that readers can stay informed about events promptly. For instance, individuals can now access information on topics of interest using their smartphones at any time and place. Furthermore, multimedia elements, such as videos and graphics, enhance the accessibility and appeal of the news. For example, channels such as BBC News or VTV24 frequently attract a substantial viewership.

On the contrary, newspapers are synonymous with reliability and credibility. Authored by professional journalists, newspapers ensure accurate and well-researched reporting, alleviating concerns about fake news. Moreover, reading newspapers offers a focused reading experience and facilitates in-depth analysis, enabling readers to attain a deeper understanding of complex issues. For example, The Times of England remains a preferred choice across all age groups due to its formal language and authentic content.

In conclusion, newspapers emerge as the superior means of acquiring news, characterized by accuracy, credibility, and an immersive reading experience.

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